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7 Senior Dating Tips

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

First, It’s Not About Luck 7 Senior Dating Tips
If you’re still throwing darts at online dating profiles, consulting your horoscope, thinking that finding a partner is just a numbers game, or hoping a friend will fix you up, then you’ve already missed the senior dating boat. If you wait for your online dating site inbox to fill up instead of being proactive, if you only answer emails from men or women who fit a narrow type, or you haven’t refreshed your photos or updated your profile in six months, you need to know that the effort required to meet a life partner begins when you sign up and ends only when you’re in love.

No Whining
While online dating for seniors isn’t a contact sport, it sometimes leaves seniors feeling bruised on the inside. Face it, you’re competing with every senior dater in your community, and you need to act accordingly. Complaining there aren’t enough good men, that the available men are abysmal, that women only want to date a wallet, and a zillion other nonsensical judgments will only ensure you quit online dating frustrated and single. You’ll need equal amounts of stamina, determination, and intelligence.

It Works
There aren’t any guarantees in life, and online dating is no exception.

But what I know with certainty is that online dating works so well that couples that meet online have statistically better odds of a successful marriage. I dated online for several years before meeting my partner who I never would have met otherwise, although admittedly it took a slew of coffee dates.

Attitude
Staying positive, choosing potential dates thoughtfully, and taking a break when you’re feeling emotionally fatigued are all worth remembering.

And there’s something else to keep in mind, and that is the person you’re anxious to meet is out there and he or she is just as anxious to meet you. Online dating is all about making your worlds collide, and that can only be accomplished by being proactive, mentally strong, and optimistic.

Shine
Your online profile is more than just a mandatory space you’re obligated to fill in with your story. It’s an opportunity to stand out. If you give online daters more than a few tidbits to decide whether you’re worth dating, your chances of meeting someone special increase exponentially. And if all your photos aren’t smiling shots, have a friend take new ones.

Do Your Homework
Dating websites know that people will join and quit regularly, and while they do put some effort into making the experience enjoyable, the burden is on members to make it successful. Think of a dating website as a library, but filled with people instead of books. You wouldn’t go to a library and ask the librarian to read the books to you, and you shouldn’t expect a dating site to do much beyond offer good choices.

Expand Your Horizons
I went on dozens of coffee dates before I met my partner because I simply wasn’t dating smart. I finally stopped picking the same woman with different names and started choosing women based on their profiles more than their photos. I met my partner shortly after. Expand your horizons by looking at men and women who don’t fit your narrow typecast fantasy. You might meet your special someone whose profile you repeatedly skipped over for all the wrong reasons.
Follow Ken Solin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KenSolin

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Dating

Seniors Need More Loving Sex as they Age

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

It’s truly amazing to me that the physical intimacy and loving sex we need to stay healthy as we age is in such short supply when it is so readily available to all of us.

I’m referring to touch and sexual intimacy, innate behaviors that are hard-wired into us humans. These are not just for the lucky few—the young, the healthy, and the beautiful. These are life-sustaining behaviors given to each one of us at birth.

It is our birthright to touch and be touched, to love and be loved, and they are just as essential for our survival when we are older as when we were young.

Yet the reality is that older folks are touched less than at any other time in their lives. As time passes, partners die and children move away, taking the cuddly grandchildren with them. In our touch phobic society where touch is limited to only close family members, elders become increasingly isolated and deprived of the physical intimacy they need to thrive in old age.

Science agrees

It may be that seniors need more loving touch and sexual intimacy to stay healthy as they age.

This is not just my opinion—this is science talking. Research is showing that loving relationships, sexual intercourse, and orgasms are not only pleasurable but are beneficial to our health, especially as we age.

Research is pointing to the fact that the more sex you have as you age, the healthier you will be and the longer you will live.
Loving sex can provide the antidote for many health challenges endemic to old age.

For example, it is now known that loving sex:

  • Lowers blood pressure,
  • Reduces depression, especially in women,
  • Strengthens the immune system to fight colds and flu,
  • Eliminates loneliness, slowing rate of physical decline,
  • Improves sleep
  • Increases happiness and overall well-being.

A prescription for loving sex

For these reasons, I believe we should add touch and loving sex to the list of healthy lifestyle choices for seniors. For example, healthy seniors would include the following in their health plan: weight training, aerobic exercise, supplements, active social involvement, stress management, blueberries, salmon, and avocados, touch and loving sex.

I’m not joking. Give it a year or two and you’ll see scientific articles supporting this wisdom. I believe we will eventually come to understand that love and intimacy are the underlying determinants of physical and emotional health at all ages. . . and that they are major factors contributing to our good health and longevity as we age.

No age limit on sex

Nothing physical stands in the way of us enjoying touch and sexual intimacy well into our 90s. There is no age limit on our desire to be touched, sexual longing, or even the ability to orgasm. What robs us of these sensual pleasures are our own limiting beliefs about sex and aging, cultural taboos and misinformation that lead us to deny that old folks are sexual beings.

Learn all about senior sex

In following blogs, I will be offering information and workshops about the surprisingly erotic world of mature sex. I will be interviewing sex health experts and folks over 60 who are having great sex and are happier than they ever expected to be at this time in their lives.

I invite you to read my blog if you want more loving sex in your life as you age. Or if you are just curious what senior sex is all about, tune into my upcoming radio show where I’ll be discussing the challenges and benefits of sex as we age.

I look forward to embarking on this journey with you and sharing the secret wisdom that enables us to be happily sexy at this time in our lives. I wish that for you too!

-Dr. Victoria Bentley is a senior citizen and clinical psychologist who lives near San Francisco. She has been following her heart and exploring the world of senior sex for some years. In her writings, she shares the extraordinary opportunity seniors have for loving sex, sensuality, and intimate connection in their lives.
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Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time?
Dating

Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time?

by Jeff Dailey
written by Jeff Dailey

Many people ponder the question, is it right to marry as a senior? Is there a good time? And if so, when is the right time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time?
There is no age limit when it comes to love. Anyone can fall in love at any time of their life and in many cases, more than just the once. Whether you’re 21 or 61, love is love and no one can deny that special feeling you get when you’ve fallen for that special someone. But what about marrying again as a senior?

What’s the rush in marrying?

Most seniors who are single are likely to have been married or at least in a long term relationship. Therefore they know what they want from a partner if they were to be looking to reengage with someone again. They possess a far greater understanding of what qualities and negatives to be mindful of in a partner.
With this in mind, a lot of senior singles in that position would prefer to take things slowly and approach a new relationship or step in to the dating scene with a cautious mind, especially if they’ve divorced or split up from a long term partner. It’s in their best interest to ensure they find someone they can end up marrying and spending a lifetime with and not just a “fling”. Also, it may have been up to 30 years since they even had to contemplate dating again so it can naturally take time to adjust to that huge life change anyway.
On the other hand, some seniors who have recently broken up struggle to adapt to the single life after such a long time in a marriage or relationship. They miss the constant companionship they were used to and sharing every experience together and so rush back in to a relationship. But this can be dangerous and not lead to the happiness that they would ultimately be seeking.
Ultimately, it’s wise to take your time. If things are becoming more serious between you and a new partner, it’s worth taking a step back and asking yourself, what is the rush?

Dating Sites

Mature dating sites are becoming more and more popular in this current day since their proven track record of helping singles find love keeps improving. Let’s be honest, the older we get, the harder it is to meet new people and make new friends through socialising. Perhaps joining clubs or classes is an option but the people that you meet at these places are limited. With the internet, the possibilities are almost endless.
The convenience of these sites as well as their easy to use interfaces make it so easy for seniors to operate. There’s no real reason for senior singles not to give it a try. The added bonus is that it allows you to sit back and take your time before jumping in to face to face dating.
www.findmaturesingles.com is a brilliant online dating site for senior singles where you can find likeminded singles as well as similar blog posts to this.

Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time?

Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time? Marrying again as a senior – When is a good time?

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What is eHarmony and How Does it Work?
Dating

What is eHarmony and How Does it Work?

by Steve Black
written by Steve Black

For people who are new to the dating scene (or have been out of it for a while), using an online dating service — especially for the first time — can be daunting. What information should I include or exclude on my profile? What photos will make me look good? How will I know if I’m a good match with someone without actually meeting them? What if someone isn’t who they say they are? What is eHarmony and How Does it Work?
Dr. Neil Clark Warren designed eHarmony to be different from other dating websites, in ways that would take the worry and stress out of dating. It uses proven emotional and psychological science to get at the heart of what you really want out of a relationship, beyond just surface attributes such as physical appearance or interests. This, in turn, gets you more matches with whom you are likely to be emotionally and psychologically compatible, and thus more likely to form long-lasting relationships.

So, what exactly is eHarmony?

eHarmony is an online dating service that uses proven relationship science to find you emotionally and psychologically-compatible matches, as well as guide communication between you and your matches. Available in over 150 countries worldwide, eHarmony also studies relationships and gives relationship advice.

How does eHarmony work? 4 steps to starting a relationship on eHarmony

1. Sign up for a free eHarmony account.

Registering for eHarmony is quick, easy, and free! Just enter some quick details about yourself: your first name, your gender, your match gender preference, your mailing code, your country, your email address, and an account password. You can also tell eHarmony where you heard about them, if you like. Then click Find My Matches, and you’re off to the races!
signing-up-for-eharmony-1

2. Take the eHarmony questionnaire, and explore the inner workings of your relationship needs.

One of eHarmony’s signature features is its relationship questionnaire. Forget questions like what your hair colour is, if you have any pets, or what you like to do on weekends. eHarmony’s questions are meant to probe your emotions, your thoughts, and your values — the stuff that really shapes your love life. It takes quite a bit of time and effort to finish the questionnaire, but just think how worthwhile it will be if it leads you to find someone with whom you really hit it off!

taking-the-eharmony-questionnaire-2

3. Take the reins and check out your matches.

After completing eHarmony’s questionnaire, they will automatically match you with several people who had similar answers to you. You can view their details, take a look at their photos (if you have a premium subscription), send them a virtual smile, or start communicating with them! You can also block a match if you don’t feel like they’re the one for you.viewing-eharmony-matches-3
 

4. eHarmony guides communication with your matches to set a comfortable pace.

When you feel that it’s time to start communicating with your matches, eHarmony will make sure that it’s at a pace that is comfortable with everyone by keeping track of whose turn it is to send a message. Ask one of your matches a few questions about what they want in a relationship, and see how they answer. Then, let them ask you a few questions, and respond as honestly as you can. If the two of you click, and you both have premium subscriptions, you can start sending free-form emails back and forth through eHarmony’s secure internal email system!
communicating-with-eharmony-matches-4
The rest of our eHarmony course will feature lessons on how to sign up for eHarmony, how to make your eHarmony profile, how to use eHarmony’s interface, and even how to delete your eHarmony account and find another dating website if eHarmony just isn’t working for you. Hopefully, however, eHarmony will help you find someone with whom you’re truly compatible. If you’re new to dating, or are just looking to take the gamble out of it, bet on the science of love with eHarmony!
 

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How to Read Body Language
Dating

How to Read Body Language

by Jeff Dailey
written by Jeff Dailey

New studies prove that between 80-93% of all communication is non-verbal, proving the majority of what we say isn’t coming out of our mouths. Do you know how to read body language? How to Read Body Language

Body language that expresses positive interest may include:

  • They lean in towards you. How to Read Body Language
  • They point their feet toward you.
    • Hint: A man will subconsciously point his belly button at the one he is most attracted to even if he is talking to someone else.
  • They uncross their legs.
  • They playfully fondle jewelry or hair.
  • They smooth shirt sleeve or collar.
  • They smile, often. How to Read Body Language
  • They hold prolonged eye contact.
    • Hint: Many women, when attracted to a man, cannot hold eye contact as long as their male counterpart and therefore may gaze down shyly.

Body language that reflects he/she is not interested may include:

  • They lean away from you.
  • They point their feet away from you — in another direction.
  • They cross their legs and/or arms.
  • They are not smiling and may even have a slight frown or hint of grimace.
  • They are not focusing on you, but turning eyes away and continually glancing around the room.How to Read Body Language

By looking out for these subtle non-verbal signals, one can more easily decipher what their date is really saying. Focus on your own body language as it can speak volumes and be aware of how you carry yourself. How to Read Body Language

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Send the Right Dating Signals
Dating

Send the Right Dating Signals

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

Smile Send the Right Dating Signals

A smile is a universal signal in every culture that tells people you like something about them. It’s often an invitation that says, “Come closer.” If both people smile at each other, a connection has begun. A smile speaks volumes whether you are in a face-to-face in a conversation or caught someone’s eye from across a crowded room. An attractive smile is your greatest asset.

Eye Contact Send the Right Dating Signals

Nothing draws someone in like eye contact. To enhance the possibility of attracting someone you are interested in, wear a piece of clothing or an accessory that is the exact color of your eyes. If your eyes are blue and your shirt is the same color of blue, it’s hard for anyone to turn away from you (ditto for brown or green eyes). Flirt! No matter the stage of a relationship, flirting with your eyes is a powerful way to spark interest:

  • Make friendly eye contact that lasts just a little longer than regular
  • Drop your eyes when you see you have connected
  • Look back up and gaze a little longer with the hint of a smile

Talking

You’ve made eye contact and a smile connection… now it’s time to start a conversation. Don’t be put off if they aren’t also moving toward you. Many people are shy and will stand frozen, hoping you will send more signals.
If you are attracted to the person and he or she isn’t saying much but is smiling and blushing, keep talking and the shyness will melt.

The Arm Touch

If your conversation is going well, a light touch on the arm is the best way to signal interest. When you laugh, reach out and touch the person’s forearm, hand, or shoulder. That one simple touch releases the tension between two people who are feeling drawn to each other.
Ultimately, conversation is an opportunity to find more about one another and what the two of you connect on. Work in the positive body language to communicate interest without saying a word.
Palm & Associates

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Dating

5 Ideas for Spring Time Dates

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

5 Ideas for Spring Time Dates

JA@Spring… the weather is perfect and everything is in bloom. It is also the perfect time to try out something new, so why not start with casual day date around where you live. There are several things to see and do during this time of year, and it’s a time to enjoy yourself and your significant other (or potential significant other).
Going out of your way to think of creative, unusual dates to go on shows that you put a lot of thought into it – after all, the thought counts most, right? Here are five ideas for a casual spring dates.
Farmer’s Market
A farmer’s market is a great way to flash your green thumb, look at quirky things or share your passion for cooking with your date. You have the advantage of being in a crowd so that you are more comfortable and there is always something to look at so hopefully there will not be any awkward silence.
Art Walks
If you like art and culture, then an art walk is the perfect place for a first date. Discuss art and philanthropy with your date and you should be able to keep the conversation flowing throughout the night.
Cooking classes
Ladies love a man who knows their way around the kitchen (and surprise! Men love women who can cook too), and this is the perfect opportunity to showcase your cooking skills in a fun environment. The willingness to step outside your comfort zone will not go unnoticed, and you are sure to impress your date because you thought of such a unique date idea.
Hiking or Walking Trails
Hiking and walking trails or at the beach or a lake are perfect for the weekend. Dating experts agree that men disclose more about themselves when you are side by side rather than facing each other. Not only will you be physically challenging yourself as well as getting fresh air, you also can enjoy the beautiful scenery and good conversation a walking or hiking trail has to offer.
Cruise
Now that the weather is warm enough to enjoy the water, a harbor or lake cruise is the perfect sunset date idea. Enjoy one another’s company or invite a group of friends – advantage: you get to meet their friends with little to no pressure.
 

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Take the Love Language Quiz
Dating

Take the Love Language Quiz

by Jeff Dailey
written by Jeff Dailey

Which love language do you speak? Take the Love Language Quiz

No, we don’t mean Italian or French… we’re talking about Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” Understanding your love language is critical to understanding how you both receive and give love to another person. Often in a relationship, people will have different love languages and that can create a fun challenge. Take the Love Language Quiz

What are these 5 languages?
The breakdown is in how you personally show your affection and how you most like others to show their affection toward you.

Here are the 5 Languages of Love:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: This language uses words to affirm other people
ACTS OF SERVICE: For these people, actions speak louder than words
RECEIVING GIFTS: For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift
QUALITY TIME: This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention
PHYSICAL TOUCH: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch

Find out your love language! To take the quiz, click HERE

To learn more about the five love languages, click HERE

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Before You Buy, Know Meaning Each Flower Type
Dating

Before You Buy, Know Meaning Each Flower Type

by Jeff Dailey
written by Jeff Dailey

Before You Buy, Know Meaning Each Flower Type

Meaning of Flower TypesBefore you buy flowers for your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day, consider the meaning of the flower. Listed here are some of the flowers that are most commonly linked with love: Before You Buy, Know Meaning Each Flower Type
Ambrosia: reciprocated love
Baby’s Breath: innocence
Delphinium: an ardent lover, representation of eager affection
Forget-me-not: Faithful love, an unforgettable lover
Gardenia: secret or beautiful love, a destined love
Hyacinth (purple): asking for forgiveness
Ivy: Celtic symbol of fidelity and wedded love, particularly when accompanied by oak.
Jasmine: amiability
Jonquil: returned affection, love, desire
Lavender: loyalty
Myrtle: Hebrew symbol of marriage, suggests eternal loyalty
Orchid: beauty and refinement. A Chinese symbol of fecundity and happy togetherness.
Primrose: an admission of complete love and surrender – ‘I can’t live without you.’
Sunflower: pride and happiness
Tulip: Declaration of love and honesty.
What To Give Someone On Their Birthday
January – Carnation
Red carnations show admiration and pinks profess the thought ‘I will never forget you.’ White means sweet love, but purple indicates fickleness and yellow is a herald for disdain. As a flower, the carnation simply means a fascinated love.
February – Violet
Simplicity and demureness. They can also be seen as a promise of faithfulness.
March – Daffodil
Symbol of high regard and respect. Also known as the flower of chivalry.
April – Sweet pea
The flower of happiness and bliss, often associated with delightful outings and innocently lavish pleasures (such as picnics)
May – Lily of the Valley
A flower for a particularly sweet, quiet, innately
graceful woman. The first of these flowers were said to have sprung from the first tears of Eve when God expelled Adam and Eve from Eden.
June – Rose Love, loyalty and friendship. The colours of roses are identical in meaning to the list of colours given above.
July – Larkspur
Offers an open heart with no conditions or secrets. A bunch purple Larkspur can mean a first true love, or the new beginnings of an old love.
August – Gladiolus
An assertion of sincerity, as a recognition of a bold or strong person or as a demonstration of bold and fierce love.
September – Asters
Asters suggest a dainty or graceful lover, and undying love. The name comes from the Latin word for ‘star,’ because it was believed that the smoke from the burning plant would drive away evil.
October – Calendula
The calendula indicates joy, gracefulness and contentment. This flower also denotes a lover who is ambitious and successful as a recognition of their general success.
November – Chrysanthemum
Red chrysanthemums indicate true love, while white chrysanthemums represent honesty in love. As a symbol, the flower represents optimism and hope
December – Narcissus
Pride and boldness, is a very formal flower which denotes an almost aloof expression of interest and affection.

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