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How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition
Diet & Nutrition

How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

It isn’t uncommon for a person to eat significantly less as they get older. Your aging parent may eat less because he/she is less active, which can lead to decreased appetite, or because he/she isn’t able to prepare food. However, even though your aging parent isn’t burning as many calories, she still needs to take in proper nutrition to maintain a healthy body weight and remain strong. How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition
Malnutrition is common in seniors, which can affect their risk for diseases and their ability to fight disease. Some things caregivers can do to help aging parents maintain a healthy diet is collaborate with them on ways to get in the proper nutrients or ensure they have simple meals and snacks ready to go.

General Nutrition Tips for Seniors

The USDA has provided the following dietary recommendations for older adults. Ensuring your aging parent has access to healthy meals and snacks can increase their odds of maintaining a healthy diet.

  • Choose fiber-rich foods often
  • Drink water and beverages low in sugar
  • Use fortified foods or supplements to meet your Vitamin D and Vitamin B12 needs
  • Eat more dark green vegetables (broccoli, salad greens, cooked greens)
  • Eat more orange vegetables (carrots, sweet potatoes)
  • Eat dried beans and peas
  • Eat 2 ½ cups of vegetables every day
  • Eat a variety of fruits (1 ½ cups per day)
  • Choose fresh, frozen, canned or dried fruit
  • Eat fruit, rather than drinking fruit juice
  • Eat at least 3 oz. of whole grains every day (cereal, bread, rice, crackers)
  • Eat cereal fortified with Vitamin B12
  • Choose low fat or lean meat or poultry
  • Bake, broil or grill protein
  • Vary protein sources to include items such as eggs, dried beans, tofu, fish, nuts and seeds)
  • Eat 5 oz. of protein per day
  • Choose low-fat or fat-free milk, yogurt and milk products
  • If you can’t consume dairy, choose lactose-free products
  • Get your oils from fish, nuts and liquid oils such as canola, olive, corn and soybean
    How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition

 

Realistic Ways to Incorporate Nutrition into Seniors’ Diets

While we may know the healthy eating rules, it can be difficult to help your elderly parent incorporate this knowledge into their daily life. Here are some simple ways to help your parent eat healthy, even if they aren’t hungry. How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition
Breakfast Ideas:

  • Make a yogurt parfait with fresh or frozen fruit, plain yogurt and a small amount of granola
  • Make a yogurt smoothie with yogurt, frozen fruit and milk
  • Boil 7 eggs at the beginning of the week and have a hard-boiled egg with a slice of whole wheat toast and fruit
  • Have a bowl of whole grain, fortified cereal or oatmeal with a side of fruit

Lunch Ideas:

  • Pre-chop vegetables and grill chicken at the beginning of the week to assemble salads through the week
  • Make a pasta or couscous salad at the beginning of the week with a variety of vegetables and tofu or beans
  • Make a fruit salad with a variety of fruit and a ½ cup of cottage cheese or yogurt
  • Eat leftovers from the night before
  • Utilize a meal delivery program such as Meals on Wheels

Dinner Ideas

  • Cook large portions of chicken, fish or meat and vegetables to eat throughout the week
  • Prepare pasta casseroles packed with vegetables to eat throughout the week
  • Make large batches of soup or chili and freeze in individual servings

These are just idea starters to make healthy eating more manageable for your family and your aging parent. You can also incorporate healthy snacks such as nuts and cheese for between meals. If you have budget concerns, there are some options for affordable healthy options.
Eating for our Brain as a Senior

How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition

How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper NutritionHow to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition How to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper NutritionHow to Help Your Aging Parent Get Proper Nutrition

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Caregiving

Communicating and Alzheimer’s Disease

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

One of the challenges of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease is effectively communicating with them. They may have difficulty expressing their needs or the caregiver may not know how to address their changing ability. Caregivers can also get annoyed or frustrated because their caree repeats words or forgets the words for common items.

To make communication go more smoothly, it helps to understand what the common challenges are, and then move forward with solutions. Once you understand the challenge, it can be easier to communicate with them. You realize what they are experiencing is a normal part of the disease, and not them.

I had a client who did her best to hide her communication challenges. She was actually really good at it. She would throw out a random word if she didn’t remember the word she wanted and would change the subject before her children realized she was struggling. They thought their mom was being difficult, because she was so good at it. It took a two week visit for her daughter to realize that her mom was not in a position to live alone anymore – not due to communication, but due to other deficits.

Common Communication Changes with Alzheimer’s Disease

  • Inability to name objects
  • Difficulty in finding the correct word for objects, places or people
  • Inability to recognize a word or phrase
  • Using a general term instead of specific words and descriptions are vague
  • Becoming stuck on ideas or words and repeating them over and over
  • Easily losing their train of thought
  • Using inappropriate, silly, rude, insulting or disrespectful language during conversation
  • Increasingly poor written word comprehension
  • Gradual loss of writing ability
  • Combining languages or returning to native language
  • Decreasing levels of speech and use of nonsense syllables
  • Reliance on gestures rather than speech

 

Studies show that people with Alzheimer’s disease retain a strong desire to communicate, despite their challenges.

Communication Techniques for Alzheimer’s Disease

  • Distraction or Redirection: Attempt to engage them in a different conversation or activity.
  • Address the Underlying Feeling: Inquire about feelings – “You sound like you miss your mother,” or “Are you worried about your mother?”
  • Ignore the statement: It may not always add value to respond. Sometimes the most helpful response will be no response.
  • Bend the truth: While we’ve always been taught that lying is wrong, sometimes, it makes sense when speaking to someone with Alzheimer’s disease. They may still believe their mother is alive and when you tell them the truth it can be upsetting. Sometimes, accepting their reality that their mother is still alive is easier for them than upsetting them. If lying is the only way to relieve distress and no other measures have been successful, then it may be justified.

Components for Simplifying Communication with Persons with Alzheimer’s Disease

  • Patience
  • Show your interest in the subject
  • Offer comfort and reassurance
  • Listen for a response
  • Avoid criticizing, correcting or finishing their thoughts
  • Avoid arguing
  • Offer a guess as to what they need
  • Limit distractions
  • Encourage non-verbal communication
  • Be calm and supportive
  • Focus on feelings, not facts
  • Pay attention to your tone
  • Identify yourself and address the elder by name
  • Speak slowly and clearly
  • Use short, simple, familiar words and short sentences
  • Ask on question at a time
  • Allow enough time for a response
  • Avoid pronouns (he, she, they) and negative statements
  • Use non-verbal communication such as pointing and touch
  • Offer assistance as needed
  • Be flexible and understanding

 

I have worked with many clients who had Alzheimer’s disease and am a Schmieding Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiver. I have used all of these techniques in communicating with my clients and found them to be useful. As an outsider, it can be easier to communicate with someone with Alzheimer’s disease, versus their family who knew the person they were. Hopefully, these suggestions will make communication easier for your family.

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Caregiving

How to Know When to Bring in a Paid Caregiver

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Not everyone will eventually need family or paid caregivers. Many people are independent and care for themselves all the way up to the end. Some people may just need a little bit of help from their loved ones to keep them independent while others need a lot of help and support as they age.

If you have an aging loved one who isn’t able to remain independent, it can be overwhelming and stressful, no matter how strong your relationship is. Once you add in the stress of managing your own life, particularly if you are still working or are also parenting children, being a family caregiver is not for the weak.

Of course, if you are fortunate enough to have siblings who you can share responsibilities with, or a strong caregiver network, you are already ahead of the game. You can also outsource some tasks like cleaning or even meal preparation. But sometimes, even with support and delegation, you may still need to hire a paid caregiver.

How do you know when it’s time to hire a paid caregiver?

Signs Your Aging Parent Needs a Caregiver

First and foremost, know that your parent needs a paid caregiver if providing care to your loved one is affecting your physical or emotional health. Don’t feel guilty about this. You can’t care for others if you don’t care for yourself. Maybe you need a break a few hours a week or you need to take two weeks off. Find the right person and step away to take care of yourself. You’ll be a much better caregiver if you put your needs first.

Here are other signs it maybe be time for a paid caregiver:

  1. Physical Changes: If your aging parent has lost a considerable amount of weight or has taken a lot of falls, you may want to hire a paid caregiver to prepare meals and ensure your parent is safe at home.
  2. Decreased Mobility: If your aging parent has a difficult time moving around his/her home, you may want to hire a paid caregiver to ensure he can safely move through his home. Decreased mobility may mean that your parent can’t safely bathe on his/her own or prepare meals. A caregiver can help with those things, as well as help your parent improve mobility through an exercise or strength building routine established by a physical therapist.
  3. Decline in Hygiene or Grooming: If your normally well-groomed parent is suddenly slacking on hygiene or grooming, it may be because he/she is unable to bathe/handle grooming. A paid caregiver can come in to assist with these tasks.
  4. Dirty or Cluttered Home: If your aging parent normally kept a neat home, they may be struggling to keep up with normal household chores. Perhaps they aren’t able to push the vacuum or get too tired standing at the sink for a long period of time. A paid caregiver can come in for a few hours a week to help them keep up on these chores.
  5. Sick or Weak: If your parent is battling an illness or isn’t physically strong, you may want to hire a paid caregiver to take care of some of the standard home chores that they need help with, as well as provide help with standard activities of daily living (bathing, dressing, grooming).

 

While some of these tasks can be delegated or divided amongst family members, sometimes it is important to bring in the pros – particularly when they need assistance with activities of daily living. Your aging parent may be embarrassed to have their adult child bathe them or assist with toileting or dressing. Bringing in a paid caregiver can help them preserve their dignity.

Paying for a Paid Caregiver

If part of your hesitation in bringing on a paid caregiver is the cost, there may be resources available to your family. If you haven’t done so, check out my Resources page for links to government programs available to seniors and caregivers.

Your parent may qualify for in home caregiving. I had a client who was very low income who was able to have a caregiver in her home for 20 hours per week through a federal program. You should also check with caregiving agencies. Some of them lower the hourly rate based on the amount of time you need a caregiver. So, for example, the rate may be $37 per hour but if you book 4 hours it can drop to $28 per hour.

If you haven’t already done this, reach out to your local senior center and Administration on Aging office. They may know of programs in your parent’s town that provide caregiving support to people like your parent. And of course, if your parent is a veteran, reach out to your local Veteran Administration office to find out if they have programs that provide caregivers.

There are options, but you may have to do a little digging to find them. It is definitely worth it to do your research.

 

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Combat the Isolation of Caregiving
Caregiving

How to Prevent Caregiver Loneliness

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Combat the Isolation of Caregiving

Caregiving can be incredibly isolating. Between managing two households and family obligations, there isn’t much time left for socializing. Unfortunately, social isolation can be just as detrimental to a caregiver’s health, as it is to your caree. Loneliness has been linked to both physical and emotional health problems. Combat the Isolation of Caregiving
Unfortunately, not all caregivers start their caregiving journey in good health. Even caregivers who start out healthy can experience health problems as a result of ignoring your own well-being for an extended period of time. The last thing caregivers need is to struggle from health challenges because they are lonely! Combat the Isolation of Caregiving
Even if you have the ability to get out and see friends, sometimes you just don’t want to. Maybe your friends don’t understand your situation. Maybe you feel so far out of the loop because you are so focused on your caree that you haven’t checked in with friends for a while. It can be a downward cycle. Too tired to see friends, sad that you don’t get to see your friends.

5 Tips for Improving Caregiver Socialization

If you are struggling to get back out in your social scene, here are tips to get out there and reconnect with friends, or make new friends.

  1. Squeeze in Self-Care: It can be hard to spend time with others when you feel like you barely have a second to breathe. If you focus on small bursts of self-care, you may feel less overwhelmed, making you more interested in spending time with others.
  1. Bring Gatherings To You: I know, I know, the house is a mess, there’s no time to clean, I don’t have time or energy to cook, etc. That being said, true friends won’t care about the mess. Trust me, I have never cared and am trying to remind myself of that when my own home is a mess. As for food, you can do a potluck or purchase pre-cooked food, order takeout or gather at a time when food isn’t necessary. Your real friends won’t care about your hosting abilities. They just care about spending time with you.
  1. Reach Out: If you don’t tell people how overwhelmed or lonely you are, they won’t know. We’re all selfish and busy, so sometimes, we don’t see that a friend is struggling unless they reach out. That doesn’t make us bad people, it just means that we all need to speak our needs more often. People who aren’t caring for an adult loved one don’t know how much time or energy goes into caring for another adult. They may just assume you do a few things here and there and are busy with life, not realizing you’re drowning. Tell your friends you are struggling. Good friends will rise, bad friends will sink.
  1. Find Alternatives: If you can’t find a meeting time or place to get together in person, can you do phone calls, text each other regularly or email each other for support? My preference is always in person because I hate talking on the phone, but for some people, in person isn’t always the way to go, especially if your closest friends don’t live near you. My best friend doesn’t live far, but we are both too busy to get together as often as we’d like. Our communication of choice lately is Instant Message/Texting during the week. We can keep up with each other’s lives and support each other even if we can’t get together. Distance doesn’t have to be a deterrent. You’ll just need to get creative.
  1. Find New Friends: Sometimes, in crisis, we realize that we don’t have as many true friends as we thought we had. If you’re feeling a little left out or down about a lack of friends, consider making new friends who know exactly what you’re going through. Check with your local medical provider or senior center to find support groups for caregivers or people with the same ailment as your caree. If getting to a support group is difficult, consider finding online support. There are many Facebook groups for caregivers as well as many people on Twitter who tweet about caregiving and several are actual caregivers themselves. Combat the Isolation of Caregiving

All of these suggestions require a bit of effort on your part, however, once you get out there, you’ll probably be happy you did. There are very few times when I’ve gone out with friends on a day where I wasn’t feeling well or was tired that I’ve actually regretted getting out. Even reaching out via text or email has always made me feel better.

Don’t assume that they are avoiding you or are bad friends. Assume that they are busy and don’t realize how challenging being a caregiver can be. Unfortunately, if you’re the first in your circle of friends to go through this challenge, you don’t have people ahead of you who understand the difficulty. Combat the Isolation of Caregiving

Combat the Isolation of Caregiving

Combat the Isolation of Caregiving

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Caregiving

Sharing Caregiving With Siblings

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Does your parent suddenly need care and you and your siblings are struggling with how to manage caregiving duties? While it can be difficult to figure out a system that will work for your family, once you create a plan that includes everyone, the burden will be lighter for all involved.

Define the Caregiving Tasks

Let’s face it. There is always going to be one sibling who lives closer or has more free time – or makes more free time – who will take the leadership role. That doesn’t mean that person has to do everything all alone. If you don’t stop to figure out what needs to be done, you’ll always be plugging holes. So, right now, stop and make a list of everything that needs to be done for your parent.

Here are some ideas you may forget about. It doesn’t mean that the person responsible has to actually do the task, but they need to be in charge of hiring a provider and overseeing the tasks.

  • Schedule appointments
  • Research providers and manage application processes
  • Review and pay medical bills
  • Track medical situation
  • Manage housekeeping
  • Manage meals
  • Manage grocery shopping
  • Handle finances
  • Provide transportation or find a transportation provider and oversee the service
  • Manage personal care (including hair appointments and personal care needs)

 

Depending on your parent, there may be much more, including social activities. While maintaining your parent’s social life seems like something that should be relegated to the bottom of the to do list, remember that loneliness in the elderly can cause a host of physical and emotional problems.

Choose Your Caregiver Roles

This is the hard part. Everyone wants to take on the “easy” tasks like booking appointments or managing meal services, but you’ll all need to do some of the dirty work. The good news is, many hands equals less work for all.

Sit down together and realistically discuss what each of you can handle. If someone lives far away, make that person handle the research and financial tasks. While research may not seem time-consuming, trust me, it is. There isn’t a one-stop spot to find all of the services available and the application process for many government programs can be extremely time-consuming with many phone calls and follow-up.

An example of a workable responsibility split is, if there are two siblings who live close to your parents and one who lives farther away, the sibling who is farther away handles finances and research and one of the close siblings handles grocery shopping and meal preparation while the other handles transportation to medical and dental appointments and personal errands. Consider your schedules and other responsibilities and find ways to make it work for everyone.

If you all work full-time and can’t take time away from work, decide how much your parent and each of you can contribute to fund outsourcing services. I have also known families who pay the family member with the lowest income to quit their job and become the caregiver.

Caregiver Communication

If you can, decide on roles from the start so that there isn’t confusion, balls aren’t dropped and no one is stuck scrambling at the last minute. While you are deciding on roles, also decide how you will all communicate caregiving updates.

Will you share a Google drive account so that appointments are all on a master calendar and you can share a contact sheet? Will you exchange information via email, phone or text? Will you have a binder at your parent’s house with all of the details? It doesn’t matter how you share the information, it is just important that you have a consistent system so that anyone can find what they need easily.

You will also need to discuss how you will handle big decisions such as when to hire a caregiver, whether your parent should live alone, medical care, etc. I worked with a family who handled big decisions like a business. They would discuss the pros and cons and vote. Of course, there were three of them so they always had a tie-breaker.

There is no right or wrong way to work together for your parent’s care. Do what works best for your family. And remember, you are family. While it can be difficult working together and old rivalries tend to resurface, remind yourself that you are family and are doing this for your loved one. There will come a time when your services will no longer be needed and your siblings will be the family you have left. This is a season of your lives that you are all living through together.

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Caregiving

Survival Guide for New Caregivers

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Whether you saw it coming or not, caring for an aging parent can be a challenge. Your parent may have been on a gradual decline, giving you the opportunity to plan ahead and implement care strategies a little bit at a time; or your parent may have taken a fall and broken a hip, resulting in the need for immediate care.

Whatever the case, jumping into the role of caregiver can be overwhelming. What steps do you need to take to ensure your parent is properly cared for? How can you fit it into your already full life? Where can you turn for help?

Assess the Situation

Before you jump in head first, step back and decide what your parent needs. If your parent has his/her cognitive functioning intact, consult them to decide what type of care they would prefer and what is needed.

Some questions to consider:

  • Do they need short term or long term assistance? Even if this is a new injury, bear in mind that as we age, it takes longer to heal. Your parent may need help getting to physical therapy appointments, performing certain activities of daily living, etc. for more than a few weeks. I had a client who had a broken hip, that resulted in surgery and three months of recovery. Even after the three month recovery time, a year later, she still lamented about her challenges getting up and down stairs.
  • What type of assistance do they need? Do they need someone to assist with activities of daily living? Do they need food delivered? Do they need transportation to medical appointments or physical therapy?
  • Is their home suitable for them to age in place or do they need to make changes, or explore other housing options?
  • What is your budget? Are there funds available to tap into? If not, are there other family members who can assist and/or help cover costs?

Make a Plan

Once you’ve assessed the situation, you can develop a plan of action. Whether you need long- or short-term assistance, you will need to decide who will do what activities and how frequently. If you are working with siblings or other family members, you should consider all sitting down together to develop a schedule and plan. Just in case, you may want to refer to my sibling rivalry post before having your family meeting.

Here are some things you can do to make caregiving run smoother:

  • Create a shared calendar (Google offers free calendars that you can share) to post medical appointments, physical therapy appointments and any other transportation needs that will require a volunteer or service.
  • Decide who will handle researching services and benefits available to your parent and agree on a timeline.
  • Determine which tasks can be handled by family members and which tasks to outsource and set up a schedule. If you lay out all of the possibilities ahead of time and address expectations, there is less room for confusion and frustration later.
  • Decide how long you will need outside support and how much you will use. If you will be using outside support indefinitely, decide how you will ensure your parent is receiving proper care.
  • If your parent will ultimately need to move into an assisted living facility, work together to decide on timing and how to make the transition easier for your parent.

Common Caregiving Tasks to Discuss

  • Who is purchasing groceries and how frequently?
  • How will meals be handled? Will you use a service or will someone provide meals for your parent?
  • Who is hiring and overseeing hired caregivers? What are the expectations and how frequently will you use outside help? Who will pay?
  • Who is handling bill paying? How frequently will bills be paid and how will your parent can access funds for incidentals?
  • Who will handle cleaning/maintaining your parent’s home?
  • Who will handle transportation needs (either providing transportation or securing transportation)?
  • If your parent needs personal care (bathing, dressing, feeding), who will handle those tasks?

 

You will have many other tasks to consider, this is just a general list to get the ball rolling. If you are in need of long-term assistance, check out my resources page for links to benefits for seniors. Bear in mind that many services take several weeks to start, so the earlier you get the application submitted, the better.

 

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Caregiving

Normal Caregiver Emotions

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Guess what? You’re not alone. Anyone who tells you they are happy every minute of every day is probably lying. Not all caregiving tasks are fun and not all moments are pleasant.

Negative Caregiver Emotions

You may feel guilty feeling these emotions, or not want to express them out loud, but these emotions are totally normal and it is highly likely that every caregiver has felt them at one time or another.

Resentment:

Whether you resent the situation (why did my spouse have to get in an accident) or you resent the cause (if my mom didn’t smoke, she wouldn’t have been this sick) or the change to your lifestyle (I used to have time to go out with my friends or travel), feelings of resentment are common.

Accepting these feelings and understanding that they are normal is the first step to feeling better. Once you’ve accepted these feelings, find a way to re-frame your mindset. Instead of thinking, why did my spouse have to get into an accident, think, I’m so glad I still have my spouse in my life. Instead of thinking, why did mom have to smoke and cause these health problems, think, I am going to take better care of myself so that my later years aren’t filled with doctor appointments and illness. Instead of thinking, I used to have a full life and now I am just a caregiver, think of ways to bring joy back into your life. It may not be in big ways like in the past, but find daily ways to feel happy.

Anger:

It is perfectly normal to feel anger when you are dealing with tasks that you don’t want to do or your caree is less than grateful for what you do. You may also feel anger if you are dealing with a financial impact of caregiving. It can be expensive to be a caregiver. Loss of work, out of pocket expenses that are not covered by insurance and paying for conveniences because you are too busy to do things yourself can all add up.

If you feel anger over doing tasks that are difficult or that you don’t enjoy, consider hiring a caregiver to assist with those tasks. Perhaps you bring someone in just for personal care or certain cleaning tasks. Practice shortcuts and cost-cutting tips to help with the fact that you’re bleeding money. And finally, consider keeping a gratitude journal to focus on the things you are thankful for or do some of these three minute stress busters to help blow off steam.

Anxiety:

Anxiety can be a normal emotion for anyone in these crazy busy times. We are expected to be accessible all the time, thanks to smart phones, and life is moving at a faster pace than ever before. Add in the stress of caregiving and the fear of your loved one falling more ill or watching their health decline and it’s no wonder your anxiety levels are at an all-time high.

Try coping techniques to reduce your anxiety. Meditate, go for a walk, take a hot shower or do whatever helps you relax. You can also join a caregiver support group either in person or online to speak to others in the same boat. If your anxiety is unusually high and self-care is not working, see your doctor. You may need to re-set your body through medication. There is no shame in reaching out for help.

Boredom or Impatience:

It is not strange to feel bored with your new role. You probably had a full-time job where you interacted with people on a daily basis and a full social life. Suddenly, you’re spending the majority of your time with someone who needs your help with menial tasks and not feeling challenged. You may also get impatient with how slowly your loved one moves or their inability to do simple tasks. These are normal feelings.

To cope with the boredom or impatience, find ways to challenge yourself or engage with others. If you can’t get away for several hours, consider online courses or support groups. You don’t need to leave the house to interact with others.

Loneliness:

Caregiving can be isolating. There aren’t enough hours in the day to foster friendships, so you tend to spend all of your time with your caree, who may not be the best company. If you had a full social life in the past, it can be even more frustrating to be left out of your social circle.

If possible, enlist other family members, friends or neighbors to provide you with time away. Whether you get a lunch away or a night in a hotel, just getting out of the house, among others will help with loneliness. You can also reach out to your friends via phone, email or text. Sometimes, they stop reaching out because they don’t know if it’s a good time to chat or what you need. Take the first step. If you are having trouble relating to people from your former life, join a support group either on- or off-line.

While these may feel like terrible emotions to admit to when caring for someone you love, they are totally normal and you should not feel embarrassed that you feel them. Find ways to re-frame them and pull yourself out of the funk. If you feel that you can’t do it on your own, reach out to a counselor for help. You don’t have to live an unhappy life while you are caring for others.

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Caregiving

How to find Caregiving Support for Low Income Loved Ones

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Caregiving isn’t just emotionally and physically demanding. It can get expensive. On average, caregivers spend between $5,000 and $20,000 per year on caregiving expenses.

Between co-pays for medication or medical appointments to caregiving support or devices and equipment, the expenses add up quickly. This isn’t even including general housing and nutritional needs.

If you are lucky, your parent planned ahead or was employed by a company that offered a pension. If not, where do you turn to get assistance with the overwhelming costs?

National Resources For Low Income Seniors

While it may take time to get set up in the federal systems, it is well worth your time to get your parents into the system for support. Caregiving is a marathon, not a race. Most caregivers are in their role for 5 years. Taking the time to apply for programs that provide financial assistance will help you in the long run.

National Council on Aging Benefits Check Up: Visit this site to find out what federal programs are available to your aging parents.

Medicare: Visit this site to find out insurance benefits and programs available to your aging parents.

Department of Health and Social Services: Your local branch will have information on local services available to your aging parents.

Administration on Aging: Your local branch can help you access services in your community.

Meals on Wheels of America: this organization will provide your parents with one meal per day. There is a fee associated with this service, however, they have options for low income seniors.

Local Resources for Low Income Seniors

Once you’ve figured out what federal options are available to you, it’s time to turn to your local community. Every community is different, so there may be more options in your community.

Chamber of Commerce or Senior Center: Reach out to these organizations in your city or county for a list of low cost or volunteer services in your community. For example, I knew of a senior center that did free grocery shopping for the elderly in their community. The client had to pay for the groceries, but not for the shopping fee. My local senior center has a program where volunteers call home-bound elderly people to check in on them. Every community is different. Find out what is available in your community. Just taking one or two items off your list will give you a few hours back every week.

Local Churches: If your parent, or you, are a member of a church, reach out to the spiritual leader with your needs. There may be a group or person within the church who can assist with some of the challenges of caregiving. Even getting help with meal delivery or transportation could impact your budget. That’s one less meal you are preparing or one less ride you are paying for or taking time off work to do.

Local Youth Programs: If there are local service-oriented youth programs in your community, reach out to find out if they provide senior services. Perhaps they can assist with yardwork or errands. You don’t know if you don’t ask.

Your Parent’s Doctor: Reach out to your parent’s doctor’s office if you are struggling with covering the co-pay or prescription costs. There may be ways they can assist. Some pharmaceutical companies offer patient assistance. Your parent may also be able to take a generic prescription to lower the cost.

As someone who lives with a chronic condition, I know how expensive it can be to deal with healthcare expenses. Finding financial relief is time-consuming and you will feel like you are banging your head against the wall when you repeat the same information to the 45th person, but the long-term cost savings will be worthwhile. Additionally, bringing in support for certain tasks can free up a few hours here and there in your own schedule, giving you the opportunity to practice self-care, or at least take better care of yourself.

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Age-In-Place

Safety Changes To Help Aging Parents Remain Independent

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

When you to visit an aging loved one or parent, keep an eye out for safety issues. Here are some safety updates you can make to their home.

Bathroom Upgrade: My parents recently remodeled their bathroom. They put in a higher toilet, which is easier for them to use and installed a shower stall. They aren’t at a point where they really need these safety upgrades, but they plan to stay in their home as long as possible and opted to make the changes now, versus later. If your aging parent can’t afford a complete renovation, you can still install grab bars next to the toilet and in the shower (some cities have free installation programs so ask your senior center). You can also put down a tub mat to prevent slipping in the tub and make sure that they have a non-stick rug for when they get out of the shower. Consider adding a shower bench or seat to prevent falls. For more bathroom safety items go to Senior.com.

Furniture Upgrades: Upgrading furniture isn’t just about home décor. If your aging parent has had their furniture for a long time, they may need to switch out a few pieces to make it easier to get up. We purchased a tall reclining lift chair for my dad last Christmas because he was struggling to get out of the lower arm chair. I had a former client who had very low furniture so she only sat at her dining room table because she had such a difficult time getting up from her couch. Keep an eye out for signs that your aging parent is struggling to get in or out of their favorite chair. These items from Stander are outstanding help.

Entryway Upgrades: I had a client who had a screen door that wouldn’t open well, then a giant plant that she had to walk around to get to a light that was about 20 steps into her home. For so many reasons, that isn’t safe. She had always had her home that way, so it never occurred to her or anyone else to make her entryway safer. The next time you visit your aging parent, make sure that there is proper lighting at the front door, as well as once they get inside. There also shouldn’t be anything blocking or narrowing their home entrance. These are important changes both for fall safety and home security. Having a dark home entrance makes it really easy for someone to hide and overtake a home owner.

Home Security: Since we’re on home security, some home security areas to address with your aging parent include outside lighting, locking all doors that lead into the home (including garage!) and ensuring their extra house key is well-hidden. These are all safety issues I saw with my clients. Some older adults are energy/cost conscious so they don’t like to leave an outside light on. The problem arises when they come home later than planned or as the time changes and it gets dark later. I also had many clients (and my own dad!) leave at least one door unlocked so that they couldn’t get locked out. Not safe! And finally, I had a client who had her spare key in an envelope labeled “spare key” under her back door mat. Way too easy to find. They should either give a spare key to a trusted neighbor or find one of those hollow rocks to hide the key (but put it far away from their front door!).

General Home Safety: Be sure to do a fall proof walk through your aging parents home, as well as a fire safety check. In addition, look for things like super high (or low) storage. For example, my extra blankets are on a very high shelf. To get them down, I need to get a small step ladder and then pull the blanket bag from the top shelf. It isn’t easy at 41, imagine trying to do that at 85! If there are some things that just need to be stored up high or out of the way, be cognizant of when your parent will need them so you can get it for them. Be sure to keep frequently used items in an easy to access location, even if it isn’t a typical storage space. For example, we keep our crock pot in the linen closet since we don’t use it frequently. That leaves more cabinet space for things I use frequently so that I don’t have to store them in the high shelves that I can’t reach.

If you’re struggling to think of what safety issues your aging parent may have, think of the things you do in a week and try to imagine doing them when you are older or ill. For a wide variety of fall prevention products to help you safely age in your own home, go to Senior.com.

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