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Feeling Alone During the Holidays

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

Since 51 percent of people over 75 live alone, the holidays are a lonely time for many people. AARP says that number adds up to 15 million people in the U.S., including 27 percent over 65. And of these, 26 percent face an increased risk of death due to the subjective feeling of loneliness. Feeling Alone During the Holidays

Loneliness is common during the holidays for a variety of ages due to living away from family and those who feel it the most are empty nesters, the elderly and individuals who are grieving – the loss of a loved one.

The holidays create high expectations which put pressure on being happy and socially connected, which isn’t the case for everyone. Not all individuals have the perfect family.

If you are lonely during the holidays, here are ways to prepare for the season.

  • The best way to deal with loneliness is to seek company. Go to church, or a place of worship. Volunteer to deliver food for Meals on Wheels and spend time with those unable to leave their home.
  • Share how you feel with friends. Invite a family member or friend who lives far away for a Skype or FaceTime call. Share a meal using the app by both eating at the same time while visiting.
  • Honor your feelings and don’t feel guilty about them. Be honest with the people you trust, and tell them you’re feeling lonely.
  • Practice self-care. Get out of the house and attend an event that involves people. Having a plan in place will decrease expectations of loneliness. Take time for decorating, reflecting, relaxing, and reading.
  • Have realistic expectations. Avoid expecting things to be good or bad.

 

Other ways to ward off loneliness are, go see a movie, visit the sick in hospitals, call a nursing home or the Red Cross and ask how you can help, call the senior center to find out who else will be alone and plan to do something with them, or help feed and visit the sheltered animals.

Whatever you do, don’t dwell on being alone.

Considering that people are living longer and married couples have fewer children, you realize that this issue of being alone will continue. It’s best to prepare for the inevitable.

Besides, loneliness is something we all experience from time to time. It’s not always rational. For example, it’s possible to feel more disconnected from others in the middle of a Christmas party than you do by yourself at home with a good book. But no matter where or when the holiday blues strike, remember that you’re not alone. Try to keep realistic expectations, take care of yourself, and make a little effort to connect with others in the same boat.

Carol Marak, aging advocate, syndicated columnist, and editor at Seniorcare.com. She earned the Fundamentals of Gerontology Certificate from UC Davis, School of Gerontology.

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Senior Man Packing Boxes
Aging

Coping with the Emotions of Downsizing

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

Many older adults find themselves coping with the emotions of downsizing, these emotions may include anxiety, stress, and sadness. Take time to speak with a counselor and work through your emotions. Not so that you won’t feel the way do, but so you can understand why.

Reasons You May Feel Sad

Moving from a big house to a smaller house, an apartment, or into a relative’s home, can be a good solution for many older adults. Whether the shift is due to health concerns or financial constraints, know that a good decision can also come with feelings of sadness.

Sometimes individuals or couples who are downsizing grieve over moving because they are emotionally attached to the memories made in their homes. This can be exacerbated if there is a neighborhood community full of friends and long-term neighbors.

In other circumstances, coping with the emotions of downsizing is related to having to let go of belongings. In the process of donating furniture, mementos, and daily living items accrued over decades, it is common to feel a sense of loss. Saying goodbye to a life you have built can be painful at any age.

Focus On Your New Home

Feeling upset about leaving a neighborhood is normal, but for your own health, it’s important to become involved in your new community and home.

Make your new home as comfortable and cheery as you can. Don’t worry about keeping all of your belongings, simply keep the ones that bring you joy and are practical for your new home. You don’t have to be the keeper of family items for your entire life either. Give them the items now, while you are downsizing.

From there, learn about ways to be involved in your new neighborhood. Volunteering or joining a group that meets weekly to pursue a hobby are great ways to connect and make new friends. And if your first volunteer shift or club isn’t a good match, don’t sweat it. Simply shift and choose another route, there are new friendships to be made, you just have to find them.

Planning Your Move While Coping with the Emotions of Downsizing

Deciding what to keep and what to donate, packing up your home, and taking care of all the paperwork surrounding a move can be stressful. If your move is happening in tandem with shifts in your family, for example, if you are moving into your child’s home, be sure to take advantage of all the family help you can. If family isn’t available, consider hiring help. There are many organizations that help with downsizing.

It’s ok to feel sad, but there are benefits of downsizing to focus on as well. A smaller home means less work on home upkeep. And remember, every life change comes with adjustments. An end to one period of life is the beginning of another. Talk through the frustrations you are feeling and look forward to your new home with positivity and interest.

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Lonely senior woman
Conditions & Treatments

What to do if Depression Returns

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

If you have lived through depression, it is normal to worry about symptoms returning. When you are wondering what to do if your depression comes back, know that there is help available.

When Do Symptoms Return?

Depression, anxiety, worrying and fear are experienced differently by different people. For some people, they can go through a difficult period and then recover. For others, there are relapses, periods where they feel fine—good, even—and then periods where symptoms return.

There are times in life that are sad or upsetting. We all have days when we feel down and it is important to recognize that a bad day does not mean you are relapsing into a period of depression. But, if your feelings of sadness continue, know there is help available and reaching out to talk through issues can help.

Can I Stop Depression from Coming Back?

While there are no guarantees what the future holds, there are ways to take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself.

For example, if you have experienced depression in the past, take note of what symptoms you experienced. From there, you can feel and sense if those early signs are returning.

Family and friends can also be helpful in recognizing symptoms. If someone close to you tells you they are worried about you, this could be a sign it is time to seek healing strategies, some of which may be possible on your own. Ask yourself what has helped your mental health in the past. Maybe you have benefitted from getting more exercise, or from being more active in your community.

Also, know that you can always reach out to a counselor, a doctor you trust, or a mental health provider for help. Everyone has problems, criticizing yourself for the situation you are in will not lead to results. You are not at fault and recovery is an option.

Make Yourself, and Your Health, the Priority

Often recovering from a mental health issue is not simple. For many, it is a long journey. You need to focus on both your physical and mental health. Your whole being is connected and the more you take care of yourself the less vulnerable you are for a relapse.

Focus on positive thoughts and don’t bombard yourself with a bunch of would’ve, should’ve, or could’ves. Obsessing about the past is not productive. To feel good, you have to learn to accept what you cannot change and move forward. Talking to a counselor or therapist can help you to leave the past behind and change thought patterns that are causing you pain.

Then, you can hopefully adopt a feeling of gratitude. An attitude that will allow you to recognize and celebrate the good things life has given you rather than obsessing on the negatives.

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CBD for Health

CBD Oil Testimonies on Pain Relief

by Jesse Dunn
written by Jesse Dunn

CBD products are a natural way to relieve pain without the use of opioids. The testimonies below are from people who are using Medterra CBD products.

Medterra CBD is produced from non-GMO hemp. Each batch is third-party lab tested and guaranteed to be free of contaminants. Each Medterra product is made with our 99%+ pure CBD isolate. Our products have absolutely zero THC and void of any psychoactive ingredients. Medterra’s hemp is grown and extracted under the strict guidelines of the Kentucky Department of Agricultural Industrial Hemp Pilot Program. We are able to sell in all 50 states and internationally without any risk. You do NOT have to have a medical card to purchase CBD products.

Amazing Pain Relief!

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I am BEYOND impressed with your product and feel the need to let others know! My friend recommended I try Medterra CBD or my sore joints. It made me feel 10 years younger! The product shipped quickly and I love how the dropper allows you to measure out the appropriate dosage. CBD works and Medterra is the BEST! -Loradell

Love this stuff

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CBD is such an awesome compound and being able to apply it directly to my problem areas takes it to a new level. It smells really good too. As a recommendation, start small and work your way up. These are big bottles and can go a long way. -Page Lynn

Relief from Spinal Stenosis

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Medterra has worked wonders on my husband’s arthritis pain and nerve pain from spinal stenosis. We are using the tincture and cream each day. He is Pain-FREE! – Julie N.

A+++++

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I typically don’t write reviews but I had to share. A friend recommended I try CBD and I went with Medterra because of their affiliation with a pilot program (it felt safe!!). My arthritis pain is bothersome and Aleve was the only thing that worked. After 1 week taking the 50mg pill I am off Aleve and feeling better than ever! I love that it is a natural product and is healthier than my prescribed medications. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!! -Anne G.

Zero THC – Great results!

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I wanted to take CBD for a while but can’t take THC because of work. The 1500mg tincture has worked wonders for my stiffness and I sleep like a rock! So grateful for this WONDERFUL product! – Gina Francis

Happy customer – Arthritis Relief

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Excellent product! Effective and pleasing to the touch. Works well for arthritic pain! Fair price also! -BettyAnn Southard

So far, so good! Improved Mobility

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I was a little skeptical to start since I had not heard much about Medterra. Well, I can verify that this CBD is the real deal. I have no doubt about the potency and they are either putting in a little extra CBD or the previous products I had tried were not nearly as pure. I really started feeling a difference around day 3 after taking the 25mg capsule each morning. As an older man, I cannot begin to tell you how much better my mobility has improved. Thanks Medterra! -Steve V.

Works great with sports therapy

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After a recent running injury, my right hip flexor has been incredibly tight. I have been going to weekly sports therapy, which is working well. To aid in relaxing my leg, I use the pain cream every morning and night. I feel like it “unlocks” my leg and the range of motion improves dramatically. My only wish is that it would last longer so I only had to apply once a day! -Steven Smith

 

Content Provided by Medterra

 

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Conditions & Treatments

Tips finding the Right Therapist or Counselor

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

When you decide you need someone to talk to, know that finding the right therapist can take a bit of research and time. But, once you have found a professional you are comfortable with, it will be easier to achieve the life changes you desire.

In fact you may find a personal consultant is a better fit, there are differences between talk therapists and personal consultants. Talk to people you trust and do a bit of research to find the right therapist for you.

Seek a Specialist

When you are considering who might be a good fit, think about why you are considering seeing someone in the first place. For example, if you are an older adult or a caregiver, know that Kendall Van Blarcom, the founder of Van Blarcom Consulting, has been successfully serving these communities for years.

Specialists are available for a wide range of issues. While it isn’t a necessity, it is possible seeing a specialist will bring you the results you are seeking. There are many areas of mental health. So, if you are seeking to heal from an eating disorder, the best use of your time may be to seek out a therapist who is specialized in that field, for instance.

Ask Questions When Finding the Right Therapist

Once you have the contact information for a therapist of interest, or if you have a list of possible candidates, reach out to ask any questions you might have. Below are a handful of possible questions.

When you ask your questions, recognize how you feel about the relationship. Do you feel at ease talking to the therapist? Does the counselor seem interested in you and your situation?

Set Goals

Once you have accomplished your task of finding the right therapist or counselor, think about what the goal of therapy is for you. Write down your initial thoughts about goal setting. Then, you and your potential therapist can discuss how those goals may be obtained and what the timeframe might be. Of course, when you are starting therapy, these goals are more of roadmap than a guarantee. Still, it’s good to know what you are striving for so you can feel the accomplishment of achieving results.

Once you identify your goals and decide where you will begin your journey to healing, you are on a path to a better life. Reach out to take the first step and get started.

Build Relationships

While accomplishments may be important, when finding a therapist a good relationship takes priority. Often the best results come when you work with a therapist who is accepting and warm. These traits can be even more essential than degrees from prestigious universities or professional accolades. You want to share your experiences with someone you feel comfortable with and trust.

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Aging

Biggest Senior Concerns

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

Health and financial security is a prime concern to seniors. In a survey sponsored by the National Council on Aging, found that financial security (71% of seniors) comes ahead of staying involved with family and friends (68%) but women are even more vulnerable than men to financial matters.

The study names other worrisome factors like health care and prescription drug costs. The other two are being a burden to family and losing independence.

Individuals who help a loved one will risk losing their financial security because they quit their job or work part-time to become a caregiver. They forfeit contributing to their retirement fund and saving accounts.

The Caregiving Dilemma

Family caregiving has always been the cornerstone of our healthcare system. But that segment dwindles.

In 2016, nearly 15 percent of women ages 40-44 hadn’t given birth and were childless, up from 10 percent in 1976, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. A 2013 report from AARP projects that by 2040, about 21 percent of the older, disabled population will be childless.

The number of childless older people in the UK expects to double by 2030, putting huge pressure on a health and social care system that is already struggling to support the vulnerable, warned Kirsty Woodard, founder of the Ageing Well Without Children.

Older adults strapped with money insecurity now take on another challenge, paying for personal care at home.

If you’re in this situation, have you thought about how you will find help and support in the years ahead? The members in my group talk about it a lot. But it’s not just the child free individuals who worry about it, so do women with children, because many live hundreds of miles apart or have estranged relationships.

It’s a huge issue that we must address. The last thing you want to face is a medical emergency or event without a plan.

In a study conducted in my Facebook group by an academic professor revealed other factors for individuals to think about:

  • To identify a caregiver who would help if you became ill or disabled
  • To find a trusted person to help you cope with life’s challenges like medical and financial decisions
  • To have access to someone in case there’s a crisis
  • To find people to socialize with you to avoid loneliness
  • To mitigate your chances of developing chronic conditions

When you make a plan to tackle these issues, then you’re less confused and uncertain about handling them in the coming years.

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Why Seniors Isolate
Aging

Why Seniors Isolate

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

There’s a growing concern that seniors in retirement are not actively involved and it puts them at risk for chronic conditions. Social isolation and loneliness among older adults are linked to depressive symptoms, poor cognitive functioning, disrupted sleep, lack of physical activity, and impaired mental health-all of which have implications for increased mortality.

Other risks include a weakened immune system, increased use of emergency services, early admittance to a nursing home, and frequent falls.

In 2018, an academic researcher asked 550 seniors in a Facebook group who frequently discuss feeling isolated, “What are your reasons for being socially inactive? Is it lack of transportation and budget? Is it because you don’t know about the local options and groups that can keep you connected? Or maybe it’s because it takes too much effort to build relationships? What do you fear most about being lonely and disconnected?” Here are a few stories she heard:

“I suspect I will feel more isolated after retirement. I live in a rural area, although there is a town 18 miles away and a city 25 miles away, so I can find activities in one place or the other. The complete lack of public transportation is a serious concern–if you can’t drive, you can’t go to the grocery store! I like living alone, with cats, but I also like doing things with friends. I do worry what would happen if I became physically disabled.”

“Most of my real friends moved closer to children and grandchildren. I have also moved several times. I have had health problems for over 20 years and one of those is chronic fatigue. It takes all my energy to keep up with the basics. Somewhere along the line I went from a gregarious extrovert to being lonely. Keeping the balls in the air is all I seem to do. Public transportation wouldn’t make much difference in my town. And budgets truly limit what entertainment, or help I can afford.”

“Putting energy into building yet another round of new relationships is becoming less attractive to me. Over the years and through multiple moves and career shifts, I have lost track of schoolmates, work buddies, former neighbors, and extended family. I have been able to reconnect with a few of them through Facebook, but they don’t live nearby.”

“Budget, transportation, and health are the main causes of my isolation. I had to give up driving because of severe glaucoma. Also, having a rare autoimmune disease makes me exhausted most of the time. Trips outside my apartment are to Dr’s appointments and grocery shopping. My only family is one son who lives in another city, and I rarely hear from him or his children.”

Do you isolate and are you lonely? What do you do about it when feeling disconnected? If you care to share your story, send me an email to Carol@Seniorcare.com.

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Conditions & Treatments

Surprised by Symptoms: Parkinson’s Disease is More than Movement

by Guest Blogger
written by Guest Blogger

For the nearly 1 million Americans who live with Parkinson’s disease, experiencing and learning to adapt to lifestyle changes is a major aspect of coping with the disease. While they and their care partners may anticipate difficulties with movement, including symptoms such as tremors and stiffness, many are unprepared for non-motor symptoms that may also accompany a Parkinson’s diagnosis.

To learn more about how these non-motor symptoms affect the lives of those living with and caring for a person with Parkinson’s, a non-profit organization called the Parkinson & Movement Disorder Alliance (PMDAlliance) surveyed more than 650 people with Parkinson’s and their care partners.

Here are some findings and insights from the survey:

Non-motor symptoms of Parkinson’s impact most people with the disease.

Of those surveyed, more than 90% reported having experienced non-motor symptoms. These symptoms come in a number of forms, including:

  • Sleep problems or excessive tiredness (84%)
  • Cognitive challenges (75%)
  • Anxiety (65%)
  • Depression (55%)
  • Hallucinations (41%)
  • Delusions (24%)
  • Other, including constipation, apathy, nightmares, anger, and mood swings (14%)

 

Of those who experienced, or reported that their loved one experienced, non-movement symptoms,

84 percent felt that these symptoms had a negative impact on quality of life, with about half rating them as either more or much more challenging to live with than movement symptoms.

In response to a question about their Parkinson’s experience, one care partner said, “I wish [other people] knew that Parkinson’s looks different in different people. My spouse’s motor symptoms are fairly well controlled, but his REM sleep disorder and dementia have made our lives incredibly challenging and exhausting.”

When it comes to Parkinson’s, daily living is impacted by hard-to-see symptoms.

Parkinson’s disease changes how patients and their care partners think about the future and cope with day-to-day living. When asked how non-movement symptoms impacted their daily life, those surveyed reported at least some negative impact on the ability to:

  • Sleep (84%)
  • Plan for future events (76%)
  • Socialize with friends and family (71%)
  • Make plans with family or friends (70%)
  • Be intimate with their partner (68%)
  • Complete household chores such as cooking/cleaning (68%)
  • Run errands (67%)

 

When people with Parkinson’s experience non-movement symptoms, care partners are impacted, too. In fact, psychosis symptoms in patients with Parkinson’s are a strong predictor of increased care partner burden, and those with hallucinations have a 2.5-fold greater risk for nursing home admission.

Reporting symptoms is crucial in navigating life with Parkinson’s disease.

Even though non-movement symptoms are common, they are rarely reported. While approximately half of patients may experience hallucinations or delusions associated with Parkinson’s over the course of their disease, only 10-20 percent of patients and care partners spontaneously report these symptoms to their doctors.

It’s important to report all symptoms to a doctor (usually a neurologist or a movement disorder specialist), to determine the right treatment plan for both motor and non-movement symptoms of Parkinson’s.

“Those with Parkinson’s and their families are not alone. Talking to your doctor is just the start of getting support and treatment,” says Sarah Jones, CEO of PMDAlliance. “We urge the entire Parkinson’s community to continue initiating conversations about symptoms, especially the non-movement ones that greatly impact day-to-day living.”

This survey was sponsored by ACADIA Pharmaceuticals Inc. To learn more about the onset and impact of Parkinson’s disease psychosis, a non-motor symptom of Parkinson’s, or to receive a tool to assist you in talking with your physician and loved ones, visit PMDAlliance.org and MoretoParkinsons.com.

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Aging

Attitudes to Enhance Aging

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

What is your mindset about growing older? Do you want to avoid thinking about it for as long as possible? Is it a negative passage to be endured? To set an ideal mid-life into motion, you need a positive outlook.

A study of 660 adults aged 50 and older in Ohio, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that people who had positive attitudes about aging lived more than seven years longer than those with negative attitudes.

While the results remain unproven by other researchers, the study does link positive outlook and good health. For example, depression is linked to poorer recovery from heart attacks and stroke. And having a positive outlook in general in your early 20s predicts survival well into your 80s and 90s.

Studies like these don’t have to convince many people that life is a heck of lot easier with a positive attitude. For me, over the years, the following mindset has helped me approach older age with gratitude.

  • Accept yourself – low self-esteem and confidence are common but beauty is not defined by physical traits but by qualities. The act of accepting oneself as they are seems hard but you can do it! Do not allow the flaws to govern your heart and future.
  • Surround yourself with positive people – hang out with people who feed your soul, the ones who you appreciate and look up to. Make sure they feel the same way about you. Positive types give us a sense of well-being.
  • Do the things and activities you love and make time for self-care. Find a hobby like cooking, gardening, painting or reading. This helps you feel connected and less stressed.
  • Express feelings – talk about your feelings with someone you like and trust. Never bottle them up. Communicating helps us process our emotions and to move on with a clearer and happier mind. If you prefer, keep a journal and write your feelings down.
  • Appreciate little things – if you give too much energy to the “big” problems you’ll stress and ignore the little things that make living so pleasurable. Make every experience a learning experience, even failures.

Questions to ask:

  • Who am I on this journey for?
    What will it take to love myself?
    What sacrifices am I taking for good health?

 

Live each day knowing there’s plenty to go around. Believe in and trust yourself. Focus on what you can do now and be your best self instead of correcting the past.

Take away:

Trust yourself – BE OPEN – Acknowledge fear and do it anyway!

Attend my free Live events on Facebook @Carebuzz. Every Tuesday, 3:00 PM CST, we discuss proactive living in mid-life. (https://www.facebook.com/Carebuzz/)

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