Backlash of Caregiving
Being a senior caregiver is one of the most difficult things you will do in your life. Do not let anyone tell you that it is easy. On the best days, you’ll feel so good about what you’re doing for your loved one. However, on the bad days, you’ll feel miserable and you may experience the backlash of caregiving. Backlash of Caregiving
Getting through the bad days is an accomplishment and you should see it as something that will strengthen you. You are a strong person already, and caregiving makes you stronger.
In this post, I want to talk to you about something that weighs heavily on my heart as well as those of some caregivers. It’s about criticism.
When caring for seniors who are ill, you may hear a lot of criticism. You may even feel as though you are being verbally abused! It is abuse, but often times, the senior doesn’t mean what he/she says.
If you’re a woman who has had children, try to think back to when you had your children. It’s a painful process and you may have said a few words that you’re not proud of. This is exactly what the senior you’re caring for is experiencing. You may not feel as though he/she is in as much pain as you were, but it is a similar situation.
The senior you’re caring for isn’t only dealing with physical pain, but also mental and emotional pain. Think of the person in his/her prime because that’s what he/she is thinking about, and the condition he/she is in now. How frustrated would you be if you were in his/her shoes?
Getting older can be so heartbreaking for some people. It can take away everything good that they think about. Some will internalize it, which causes them to isolate. While others will lash out at people and the world around them. They become angry and point fingers because they don’t know what to do.
What to Do When You’re Hit
It can be hard to take it when a senior lashes out to you verbally. It may make you sad or mad. Either way, try not to attack back. Remember, the senior doesn’t mean to be mean.
The best thing to do is ignore it. If you can’t do that, excuse yourself from him/her and take a break. Take a walk, speak to yourself in a loving way, and when you’ve calmed down, go ahead and head back in there. Usually, the situation will be much different. Your loved one may not even remember saying it, and you feel good because you didn’t react back.
Sometimes, it can hard to come back from some of the things your senior will tell you. It can cut deep and the scars don’t heal quickly. This may have caused you to have some resentment or feel less strong than you should. Feeling this way is not fair to you or the person you are caring for, so contact Kendall Van Blarcom. Kendall is a personal consultant who can help you feel better about being a caregiver. He can help you through some of the turmoil you face each day. He can help you move forward from some of the words you’ve heard and felt. He can help you find peace.
Sessions can be scheduled when it’s convenient for you. We have a special right now, so visit this personal consulting page now for more information.
Kendall Van Blarcom
Backlash of Caregiving
About the Author
I’m Kendall Van Blarcom, the founder of Van Blarcom Consulting. For over 25 years, I have provided personal consulting and counseling to over 1,000 clients around the world.
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist (MFT) based in California. I have decades of consulting experience and a genuine desire to help my clients.
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