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7 Senior Dating Tips

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

First, It’s Not About Luck 7 Senior Dating Tips
If you’re still throwing darts at online dating profiles, consulting your horoscope, thinking that finding a partner is just a numbers game, or hoping a friend will fix you up, then you’ve already missed the senior dating boat. If you wait for your online dating site inbox to fill up instead of being proactive, if you only answer emails from men or women who fit a narrow type, or you haven’t refreshed your photos or updated your profile in six months, you need to know that the effort required to meet a life partner begins when you sign up and ends only when you’re in love.

No Whining
While online dating for seniors isn’t a contact sport, it sometimes leaves seniors feeling bruised on the inside. Face it, you’re competing with every senior dater in your community, and you need to act accordingly. Complaining there aren’t enough good men, that the available men are abysmal, that women only want to date a wallet, and a zillion other nonsensical judgments will only ensure you quit online dating frustrated and single. You’ll need equal amounts of stamina, determination, and intelligence.

It Works
There aren’t any guarantees in life, and online dating is no exception.

But what I know with certainty is that online dating works so well that couples that meet online have statistically better odds of a successful marriage. I dated online for several years before meeting my partner who I never would have met otherwise, although admittedly it took a slew of coffee dates.

Attitude
Staying positive, choosing potential dates thoughtfully, and taking a break when you’re feeling emotionally fatigued are all worth remembering.

And there’s something else to keep in mind, and that is the person you’re anxious to meet is out there and he or she is just as anxious to meet you. Online dating is all about making your worlds collide, and that can only be accomplished by being proactive, mentally strong, and optimistic.

Shine
Your online profile is more than just a mandatory space you’re obligated to fill in with your story. It’s an opportunity to stand out. If you give online daters more than a few tidbits to decide whether you’re worth dating, your chances of meeting someone special increase exponentially. And if all your photos aren’t smiling shots, have a friend take new ones.

Do Your Homework
Dating websites know that people will join and quit regularly, and while they do put some effort into making the experience enjoyable, the burden is on members to make it successful. Think of a dating website as a library, but filled with people instead of books. You wouldn’t go to a library and ask the librarian to read the books to you, and you shouldn’t expect a dating site to do much beyond offer good choices.

Expand Your Horizons
I went on dozens of coffee dates before I met my partner because I simply wasn’t dating smart. I finally stopped picking the same woman with different names and started choosing women based on their profiles more than their photos. I met my partner shortly after. Expand your horizons by looking at men and women who don’t fit your narrow typecast fantasy. You might meet your special someone whose profile you repeatedly skipped over for all the wrong reasons.
Follow Ken Solin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/KenSolin

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Dating

5 Ideas for Spring Time Dates

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

5 Ideas for Spring Time Dates

JA@Spring… the weather is perfect and everything is in bloom. It is also the perfect time to try out something new, so why not start with casual day date around where you live. There are several things to see and do during this time of year, and it’s a time to enjoy yourself and your significant other (or potential significant other).
Going out of your way to think of creative, unusual dates to go on shows that you put a lot of thought into it – after all, the thought counts most, right? Here are five ideas for a casual spring dates.
Farmer’s Market
A farmer’s market is a great way to flash your green thumb, look at quirky things or share your passion for cooking with your date. You have the advantage of being in a crowd so that you are more comfortable and there is always something to look at so hopefully there will not be any awkward silence.
Art Walks
If you like art and culture, then an art walk is the perfect place for a first date. Discuss art and philanthropy with your date and you should be able to keep the conversation flowing throughout the night.
Cooking classes
Ladies love a man who knows their way around the kitchen (and surprise! Men love women who can cook too), and this is the perfect opportunity to showcase your cooking skills in a fun environment. The willingness to step outside your comfort zone will not go unnoticed, and you are sure to impress your date because you thought of such a unique date idea.
Hiking or Walking Trails
Hiking and walking trails or at the beach or a lake are perfect for the weekend. Dating experts agree that men disclose more about themselves when you are side by side rather than facing each other. Not only will you be physically challenging yourself as well as getting fresh air, you also can enjoy the beautiful scenery and good conversation a walking or hiking trail has to offer.
Cruise
Now that the weather is warm enough to enjoy the water, a harbor or lake cruise is the perfect sunset date idea. Enjoy one another’s company or invite a group of friends – advantage: you get to meet their friends with little to no pressure.
 

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Last Will and Testament Importance
Dating

Senior Online Dating Tips

by Jeff Dailey
written by Jeff Dailey
Senior Online Dating Tips
Senior Dating In the old days, you most likely would meet Mr. or Ms. Right in college, on the job, maybe in a bar or though family and friends. Today, people are increasingly getting together through online dating — especially if they’re over 50. Various studies have found that older adults are the fastest growing segment of online-dating services. Senior Online Dating Tips
So if you’re looking for love, this can be an ideal option. (I say this, not only as a resident relationships expert at perfectmatch.com, but also someone who met my boyfriend of five years online.) Here are my tips for efficient, effective and safe online dating:
Internet dating sites are attracting a large number of 50+ singles.
  • Be sure you’re ready. If you’re not ready to date, you simply aren’t in a position to find a healthy relationship. To do so, you need to feel reasonably happy and confident of your worth. If you’re still angry or hurt from a past relationship, wait a bit. You need to feel positive, open and up for an adventure. If you’re having trouble getting to the right mental space, you might consider seeing a therapist.
  • Do your homework. There are all kinds of online dating sites, so spend some time on the computer researching what looks best for you. Decide if you’re interested in a “pay to play” or one that’s free. (Personally I think you are safer if everyone has to use their credit card and is therefore not fully anonymous.) Of the pay sites, match.com is the biggest, but there are all kinds of boutique services if you’d prefer to better target your dream date. For example, there is golfdate.com for the golfers, equestriansingles.com for horse lovers, fitsingles.com for fitness types, and all sorts of specialty sites such as asianfriendfinders.com, christiansingles, gaydate, jdate (for Jewish singles) and therightstuff.com (for ivy leaguers). If you’re looking for a free site, plentyoffish.com and nerve.com are two of the larger ones.

Next: Be smart about your privacy and safety online. »

  • Enlist your friends. Ask for help when you’re choosing a picture and filling out a profile form that tells potential dates who you are. You need an objective eye on this. You might think it’s a great picture, but maybe your friend doesn’t. Trust your friend. You may think your short rendition about yourself is enticing — but maybe it comes off as arrogant or too timid, or has too much about your kids and not enough about you. Give it to a few friends to review.
  • Avoid clichés in your profile. You will discover why when you read what others write about themselves. There are just too many people out there who “like long walks on the beach” or “enjoy theater, fine restaurants and exotic travel.” Whatever you write, make sure it expresses the goals, values and lifestyle choices that make you distinct.
Learn how to set your privacy controls and use reputable dating services. — Dreamstime/Simone Tieber
  • Don’t limit your options. Be judicious about how you answer questions about what you’re looking for in a partner. Some sites ask about your “deal breakers,” that is things you absolutely don’t want. If you make your list of do’s and don’ts too long, it will limit the possibilities. So only put seriously disqualifying or absolutely necessary things in that list. (For example, ditch the requirement that he has at least a master’s degree but keep the one that says he can’t be a smoker).
  • Stay safe. When you find someone you are interested in — or someone finds you — exercise caution. At least initially, talk on your mobile phone instead of your home phone, which can be linked to your address. For a first date, meet in a safe public place — a coffee shop is ideal. Until you know the person better and are confident he is who he claims to be, don’t let a date drive you anywhere or even walk you to your car if it’s a secluded place. Though most people are honest and well-meaning, you shouldn’t take any risks at all.

Next: Meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right

  • Take your time. One of the advantages to online dating — meeting people you never would have met otherwise — is also a disadvantage. Since the people you meet are coming from outside your network, you don’t know people who can vouch for them. So you need to be super cautious. Don’t automatically trust everything your date tells you, no matter how sincere he or she may seem. It takes time to be really sure that this person is who he says he is — and that he’s being honest about his intentions. On that topic, you should be honest about what you’re looking for in terms of a relationship, too. Some online daters are only out for a good time, while others (the majority, I believe) are looking for a serious relationship.
  • Be resilient. It may take a while to meet Mr. or Ms. Right. Some people are lucky right off the bat: They meet that perfect someone quickly, the feelings are mutual, and the relationship gets serious. Many more people, though, don’t have that kind of luck: They meet many people who don’t interest them or who don’t show any interest. It can take many, many coffee shop dates before you find someone who is right for you. Still, it’s worth it. If you think of these dates as an opportunity to expand your social life, you will find that you can enjoy the coffee — even if the person has no long-term prospects. But if you stick it out and keep trying, you eventually find that very special someone.

AARP.com

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