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7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging
Aging

7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

“Growing older isn’t easy.” I hear those words from my friends and family. It’s hard to see them suffer physically, strain mentally and emotionally, and most of all struggle financially. 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging
It’s common for us to reflect on the past and see our mistakes. We all have regrets. And if we look back long enough, we’d say, “If I could do it all again, I would..”
I’m sharing with readers what my older friends and acquaintances would tell their 21-year-old selves about life, taking care of the body, saving for retirement, and staying emotionally balanced.

  1. “Take care of your teeth. Plan for retirement. Stay physically fit and exercise forever. Enjoy the stamina you have now and don’t take it for granted. Talk to people over 60 the same way you would talk to anyone. Take a yoga class, drink water, find people to travel with. (FYI, I’d hate to be 21 again.)”
  2. “Ask, ‘Where do you want to be in 5 years,10 years,” and stretch that out to 20, 30, and 40. Review the realities of life; you may have a great paying job now, but that can and does often end. Prepare for ending up alone. Watch out for insincere people, your health, and know you are your best advocate. Enjoy life! As for the folks over 60; don’t talk down to them, they didn’t grow up with computers, cell phones, etc. And, they’re taking advantage of ‘slowing down and smelling the roses.’ So, push them. They’re neither stupid or lazy, but have different priorities.”
  3. “Save for the future. I was self-employed, so I made a habit of saving and investing. Compound interest is no joke. I set financial goals and worked toward them. But, don’t forget to enjoy life along the way!”
  4. “Respect your elders, one day you’ll be one. Pay it forward. Get to know a person by personal contact; visit them, call them, write to them, send cards. Texting a smiley face emoji is not bonding. Listen to the wisdom, write it down, pass it on.”
  5. “Watch out for people who sap your joy. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and lift you up. People who are 60 often feel 40 in their mind. They just move slower. Engage and ask them for advice. They have ‘been there, done that.”
  6. “Enjoy other people’s families. I’m an adopted Grandma and love it. I can do things for kids that their parents can’t. Sometimes, it’s just being listening ear. Sometimes it’s to introduce them to Times Square, theater, and fine dining experiences.”
  7. “Early on, find a mentor, someone who’s living the life you want, and listen closely to their advice.”

Sign up for my newsletter – send an email to Carol@Seniorcare.com and write “sign me up” in the subject line.
Retirement Lessons to Teach your Children

7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging

7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging 7 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self About Aging

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His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer's
Aging

His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer's

by Silverado
written by Silverado

Alzheimer’s is a real problem facing real people every day. If you or someone you know has faced it, you understand the emotional toll it takes. When we came across one couple’s journey, it touched us so deeply that we spent two full days capturing their love story to be shared with the world. His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer’s

John and Kerry McNeely learned of Kerry’s Alzheimer’s in 2014, shortly after a trip to Europe. Soon after, John sought help for her at Silverado. At the memory care community, he was able join a family support group to openly discuss his experience. During one of those meetings, he put his thoughts on paper — words he didn’t realize at the time would touch more than 100,000 lives.
 
 

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Aging

Find Senior Care on Limited Budget

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

Recently, a reader asked, “If you can’t afford to live in a senior care facility, or have family to take care of you what other options does a person have when they can’t take care of yourself?”

For many seniors, they survive on Social Security from month to month. The retirement years is challenging and enjoying the golden years and living comfortably is only a dream. And once they retire, they struggle. They are in survival mode. Others, like the 10,000 Americans who turn 65 every day, are just now facing the reality.

When seeking care on the limited income of Social Security, there are a few options available for the personal help you need or for additional income to pay for care. Here are a few ways to make that happen.

Supplemental Security Income (SSI)

If you are receiving Social Security alone, consider applying for SSI. This federal benefit is available to those 65 and older, the disabled and the blind who have limited income and resources.

The average monthly benefit for an individual is $710 (2013) and $1,066 for a couple. Some states add small supplement to these amounts.

Medicaid

In addition to Medicare, qualifying people 65 and older with limited resources can receive Medicaid. It provides coverage for inpatient and outpatient care, including costs that Medicare does not cover such as nursing home care and personal care services.

Medicaid Waivers Program

State Medicaid plans or state plan amendments often indicate what types of services are covered under Medicaid. Contact your state’s Medicaid office and ask them about LTSS coverage – long-term care coverage. To find contact information for your state’s Medicaid office, visit the State Resources Map at https://www.cms.gov/, click on your state, and click the Medicaid agency link.

The program allows individuals to have active roles in the services they receive. Self-directed personal assistance services allow participants to:

  • Direct types of care that they receive and understand but cannot do (e.g., a person with a physical disability may wish to direct his or her own exercise program)
  • Choose who will provide the care
  • Include their own preferences, choices, and abilities in the service plan

States can target this program to people who already receive services under 1915(c) waivers and may want to direct their own care. States can limit the number of people who self-direct their care and can decide whether this program will be statewide or limited to certain areas.

Medicaid also offers nursing home stays for seniors on a limited income. For more information, contact your local Area Agency on Aging, Department on Aging, or the Ombudsman office in your city or community.

Carol Marak, aging advocate, syndicated columnist, and editor at Seniorcare.com. She earned the Fundamentals of Gerontology Certificate from UC Davis, School of Gerontology.

Get on the waitlist for my Facebook subscription group and learn how to plan for aging well. Send an email to carol@seniorcare.com and say you’re interested in the group.

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Midsection of senior woman at home
Aging

Top Reasons Why Seniors Need A Medical Alert System

by Guest Blogger
written by Guest Blogger

Medical alert systems allow seniors to summon help, literally at the press of a button. This means that they are even easier to use than phones and also easier to carry. There are many reasons why seniors benefit from them. Most of these reasons hinge on three key points.

The elderly are at higher risk of medical emergencies

As the body ages, it slows down. Even the fittest seniors do not have the same reflexes as younger people. It becomes more fragile. In particular, bones become easily damaged. The immune system becomes less robust so even minor ailments like colds can become a major issue. Serious ailments, like COVID19, can be deadly.

Having a medical alert system does not replace the need for general healthcare. Seniors will still need routine checkups with medical professionals. It will, however, ensure that, in an emergency, they can get help immediately they need it.

The fact that the medical alert system goes through to a monitoring facility rather than 911 can encourage seniors to use it even if they’re not sure the situation is an emergency. A trained professional can then speak to the senior about the situation and either guide them to resolve the matter themselves or get them the help they need.

Safety has to be balanced with independence

Families want their seniors to be safe and taken good care of. They do, however, need to recognize and respect the fact that those seniors have, literally, spent their lives taking good care of themselves. Many of them will have taken good care of other people as well. They may very much still value their independence and not be at all ready to give it up just yet.

This can create a challenge for families (and the seniors themselves). They need to find the right level of assistance at the right time and, of course, at the right cost. This last point is a senior’s need for care is likely to increase as they age. This means that making astute savings in a person’s early senior years can prove very useful later.

One way to keep costs down is to use technology as much as possible. Medical alert systems are a great example of this. The assistance they offer is available 24/7/365 but it is only accessed when the senior feels in need of it. That way the senior retains their independence and control, along with their privacy, but still has cost-effective support available to them.

Guaranteed assistance no matter what

Families might love to care for their seniors by themselves. The simple truth of the matter, however, is that most families will have other commitments that may get in the way. Even if they don’t, providing 24/7/365 support is a major logistical challenge.

With the best will in the world, the practicalities of life may end up meaning that the senior cannot get the emergency help they need when they really need it. For example, a person may forget to charge their phone or not wake up when it rings. Medical alert systems, however, are always active and always monitored.

About Suddenly Senior

Suddenly Senior is a top-ranked site with over 4,000 pages of humor, nostalgia, senior advocacy and useful information for seniors 50+. Updates weekly!

For more information, check out their guide and checklist to choosing the best medical alert systems.

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How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone
Aging

How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

The concept of growing older without household support can be a shocking wake up call. That’s what happened to me after providing home care help for my older parents. The needs they had were extremely challenging for my sister and I, and when they died, it forced me to question, who will do all that for me? You see, I’m single, and have no children. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone
The care I provided for mom and dad included daily living tasks like house cleaning, cooking, shopping, transportation to medical appointments and treatments, and even managing their medications. And when they passed, I had lots of time to reflect on the caregiving years and realized how difficult elder care can be. It takes a village to meet the needs an older person. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone
According to the U.S. Census, the number of people over 65, living alone, will expand due to high divorce rates and child-free marriages of baby boomers. It’s why I’ve created a plan of action and will continue to tweak it as my needs change. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

To create support for myself, I launched the Elder Orphan Facebook group, and since many of us form close ties, offer suggestions for transportation, solve serious issues, and even celebrate one another’s birthdays, we feel less alone and isolated. The online Facebook group has helped several members cope with difficult situations, even cancer, and strokes. We give one another peace of mind and place to go for friendship and connection.

Since it’s a global group, several members have started local groups for social interactions. But for me, I realize there’s so much more we can do together. We are strong, capable, and savvy. Our next steps go beyond making connections but also to form a social and support network that handles the types of tasks that normally family members deliver, such as:

Rides
Meals
Personal care
Cleaning
Shopping
At the local level. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

A challenge? Yes. But as I say, we’re smart and resourceful.

This past week, groups from California to Florida met to discuss possibilities. We’re going beyond social needs and creating solutions for the following:

Discounts from local businesses
Housing options
Transportation options
Food delivery
Companionship resources
Volunteering

To name a few.
The members in my group in Dallas divvied up the tasks —

How to prepare for a surgery
Create a list of members and our contact information
Where to go for employment support and to find a job
Find housing options
Research needed local services
Locate free places to meet and plan

We’re just getting started on our “aging with friends” plan and we’re new at this but overall, the local meetings have turned out better than we planned. Each one of us walked away feeling lighter, more comfortable and hopeful that our aging alone journey will be void of being alone without support.
If you live in Dallas, join us. If you don’t, I invite you to the main Facebook group — and encourage you to start your local community. Don’t worry if you don’t know how, in a few months, the Dallas group intends to have a roadmap and a plan in place for others to mirror. How Aging with Friends Fills the

If you’re open to new adventures and want to learn new strategies for finding part-time work, how to develop new skills, find online games, and discover technology that helps you age in place, I invite you to opt-in to my upcoming Newsletter called Age with Purpose. It will roll out in a few weeks, and arrive via email every week. No doubt you’ll enjoy and look forward to its arrival. Just fill out the linked form and you’ll be on the list to receive the Age with Purpose Newsletter.

How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

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Aging

Making Friends Later in Life

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

Having friends makes life a lot more fun, enjoyable, and easier to deal with challenges. But as one grows older, research shows it’s harder to hang on to established connections and companions because we retire and leave the workforce. And a big part of our relationships develops with people on the job. Making Friends Later in Life
When retired, seniors enjoy their free time and travel more, taking time away from developing new relationships. Some seniors move to another city, perhaps be closer to their children and grandchildren. When doing so, the move puts an end to establish long-term friendships and acquaintances. That’s the hardest decision, to leave behind old friends or get close to the grandkids? Making Friends Later in Life
During our younger years, we think friendships for granted and don’t think too much about shedding close relationships in exchange for a romantic partnership. And even more are lost when offspring arrive, which puts new demands on one’s resources like time and energy. Every person is guilty of spending all of their time with their immediate family. It’s normal.

But when a person becomes older, it’s necessary to have close ties with nearby friends, it not only feels good but it’s good for you. Research by American and Canadian scientists have found that having a wide variety of friends decreases the risks of heart disease and stroke. Plus having more friends encourage you to participate in health-related activities and behaviors like consuming fruits and vegetables, staying fit, and quitting bad behaviors like smoking.

In a Facebook group for seniors aging alone without the support of nearby loved ones claim that having friends close by gives them a sense of security knowing they can call someone for help. But some have trouble meeting new friends because they are immobile, live in the country, or have difficulty driving. What we all know is that making new friends isn’t like it was when we were younger. Making Friends Later in Life
So what can older adults do to make new friends and revitalize their social connections? Making Friends Later in Life
I think it’s important to know that there are many older individuals like you who are in the same boat. So, feel reassured that you are not alone. Secondly, try hard not feel embarrassed or ashamed that you have lost close ties. We all have. The best opportunities to find new people to connect with are the ones that share your interests. Make a list of your hobbies, places you enjoy, favorite restaurants, coffee shops, and the library. Other places could be book clubs, organizations where you volunteer, art classes, sports leagues, political organizations, local parks, and senior centers.

Having friends will enrich your life and may even keep the mind sharp, helping you stave off dementia.
For more information check out our article on Combatting Loneliness.

Making Friends Later in Life

Making Friends Later in Life Making Friends Later in Life Making Friends Later in Life Making Friends Later in Life Making Friends Later in Life

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United States of America flag and folded military uniform jacket
Aging

Military Veterans Age 55+ on Retirement, Financial Security and More

by Guest Blogger
written by Guest Blogger

SeniorLiving.org Report on Military Veterans

More than half of all veterans are over the age of 551 and will soon be making decisions about retirement if they have not already. So, how do our nation’s service members plan on living their senior years? We asked military veterans ages 55+ more than 30 questions on topics from retirement to financial security to leisure. Respondents of this survey were almost evenly split between those who had retired and those who had not. Of those not yet retired, more than 60 percent planned to retire within 10 years. We asked questions about retirement plans, financial stability and wellbeing in aging.

Financial Security

One of the biggest hurdles to retirement is saving enough. An impressive 90 percent of veterans we surveyed feel at least minimally financially secure for retirement, and 69 percent feel moderately or very secure. Contrast this with reports that say half of Americans over 60 do not feel that they have saved enough5, and it would appear that veterans are more ready than the general population. Veterans are eligible for retirement support because of their service in the form of military retired pay or the veterans pension program, which could be one reason they feel more financially secure.

See our recent reports on senior consumer debt (May, 2020) & financial confidence of seniors (March, 2020) to compare this data to broader senior sentiment during COVID-19.

Senior Living Communities

Of those veterans we surveyed, only nine percent are currently living in a senior living community, and most have no plans of moving into one. Over 80 percent plan to stay in their home even if they were to need assistance with activities of daily living, which is in line with what American seniors as a whole have expressed6. For most, this preference of staying at home is not due to a dislike of senior living as 77 percent view independent living at least somewhat favorably, and 68 percent view assisted living at least somewhat favorably.

For those veterans who do end up needing help, there is a benefit called the Veteran’s Aid and Attendance program that can be used for assisted living as well as in-home care. Only a small percentage of those who qualify for this benefit have ever applied and it can be worth thousands of dollars per year7.

Leisure and Travel

Veterans understand the importance of leisure activities, with 80 percent considering them either “extremely” or “very” important. Not surprisingly, those who said leisure was important to them were much more likely to be making time for it every day or several times per week.

Veterans want relaxation more than anything from a leisure activity, followed by fun. They plan to relax and have fun in retirement through travel, spending time with family and friends, pursuing hobbies, and volunteering.

Travel is the number one retirement goal listed by the veteran respondents with almost two out of three listing it, and the same percentage deeming it “extremely” or “very” important. These respondents who feel strongly about the importance of travel also seem to be on track to make it a reality, with 72 percent having included it in their budget. With the average length of retirement at 18 years2, planning financially for long term leisure is an important step in keeping retirement goals.

Thirty percent of veteran seniors report having spent over $5,000 per year recently on travel, suggesting they are a market worth paying attention to for companies in the travel industry. Indeed, there are already many ways for veterans to save money when traveling with discounts on hotels, transportation, entrance fees and more3. While retirement travel often makes people think of far off destinations, many veterans want to see more of their own country with 44 percent planning to only travel domestically.

Though it was behind travel, spending time with family and friends, and pursuing hobbies, over 20 percent of veteran seniors did list volunteerism as a retirement goal. Studies show volunteering is a key way to live a more purposeful lifein retirement, which is associated with increased happiness and a longer life4.

Hearing Loss and Medical Alert Devices

Hearing problems are the most prevalent service-related disability among veterans8, and more than one million veterans receive disability compensation for hearing loss. Almost half of veteran seniors we surveyed have some degree of hearing loss, and a third of those use a hearing aid. This hearing aid usage is higher than the percentage of the civilian population, perhaps because veterans are eligible for hearing aid coverage where those on medicare are not.

Only eight percent report having a medical alert device. This is not surprising given that 96 percent of our survey respondents are under age 69, but falls are the leading cause of fatal injury among seniors. New devices can track health statistics in addition to falls which could help veterans age at home like they prefer.

Veterans at or near retirement want to relax and have fun during their later years, and many seem on track to hit their goals. They are excited to travel and have the financial discipline to make it happen.

Sources:

  1. https://www.va.gov/VETDATA/docs/SurveysAndStudies/VETPOP.pdf
  2. https://www.investopedia.com/terms/r/retirement.asp
  3. https://militarybenefits.info/military-discounts/#travel
  4. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/will-a-purpose-driven-life-help-you-live-longer-2019112818378
  5. https://www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2019/06/03/report-a-quarter-of-americans-have-no-retirement-savings-infographic/#37d8c1673ebf
  6. https://www.aarp.org/research/topics/community/info-2018/2018-home-community-preference.html
  7. https://www.aarp.org/home-family/voices/veterans/info-2018/aid-attendance-program.html
  8. https://www.research.va.gov/topics/hearing.cfm#more

 

About SeniorLiving.org (https://www.seniorliving.org) Research and This Report

We surveyed more than 250 American adults 55 and older who identified themselves as military veterans (active or retired). We asked about their financial preparedness for retirement, what fears they have about retirement, their opinions on senior living options, travel, income and more. All interviews were done in October 2020. SeniorLiving.org is where seniors and their loved ones can find and compare housing options for seniors, including assisted living, in-home care, and everything in-between. We publish research on issues facing assisted living and aging, and cover governmental programs, and economic and social issues facing seniors.

By Jeff Hoyt, Editor-in-Chief, SeniorLiving.org Research

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Disabled man in assisted living center
Aging

Options Needed to Pay for Long Term Care

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

Are you looking for ways to pay for long-term care? The national average cost per month for senior housing starts at $4,000. At home personal care costs $23 an hour. There is no way to avoid the expenses, but there are ways you can put a home’s equity to work.

The most valuable asset a senior has is a home. And today, the most common option to pay for long-term care is using the home’s equity through a Reverse Mortgage where the lender makes payments to the borrower. The borrower does not pay back the loan until the house is sold or vacated. And as long as the borrower or co-borrower (a spouse) lives in the home, no monthly payments are due on the loan balance. But property taxes, maintenance and upkeep, insurance, and association dues are the borrower’s responsibility. The loan is due in full when the last borrower, the remaining spouse, dies, sells, or permanently moves out.

I learned about another option which unlocks the home’s equity without ever having to worry about leaving the home or getting foreclosed. The senior receives part of the home’s value in cash upfront and part in guaranteed monthly payments in return for the ownership of it. Maintenance, insurance, and property tax is handled by the new owner so the seniors can live in their home for the rest of their life. It is not a reverse mortgage.

This transaction originates in France (called a viager) where people have been doing these for over a thousand years – it has actually been part of their laws since 876 AD. However, in Europe this deal is facilitated between two individuals. The seller agrees to transfer the ownership of their home to the buyer for a downpayment and regular cash installments for the rest of their life. The seller has the right to live in their home for the remainder of their life and the buyer takes over only after the seller passes away.

It’s brand new and may be available in the States soon. Compared to a reverse mortgage, clients are not taking out a mortgage or paying interest. There are no hidden fees.

The senior transfers the title but keeps the right to live there for their lifetime. They receive part of the home value when signing and part of it through guaranteed monthly payments until they pass away. The new owner handles paying property tax, insurance, and basic maintenance so there is no foreclosure risk.

For those who have no heirs, this option is the perfect choice as there is no incentive to leave the home and the equity in it behind. For seniors with heirs, their heirs no longer need to worry about the financial wellbeing of our clients. And if the client passes away before the originally invested money has been paid out, the remainder of the original amount is paid back to the heirs.

Carol Marak, aging advocate and editor at Seniorcare.com. She’s earned a Certificate in the Fundamentals of Gerontology from UC Davis, School of Gerontology.

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3 Easiest Ways to Record Phone Calls on iPhones
Aging

Health Benefits of Social Media for Seniors

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

When you think of social media, I doubt you picture grandma tapping away on her smartphone.You would be surprised by the benefits of social media for seniors. Just three years ago the number of social media users over the age of 65 was thought to be under 10%.

Now, that number seems to be on the rise according to recent studies. The reasons for the recent rise in the popularity of social media with this generation is still up for debate. Some people speculate that it could be due to the unexpected health benefits older social media users are experiencing.

With this in mind, let’s look at 3 health benefits of social media for seniors:

Stress relief

  • As people age, relationships tend to become more distant and can often result in feelings of isolation and depression. It is a good idea to encourage the use of social media for seniors. The ability to be in close contact with family and friends has had a clear effect on senior’s stress level.
  • This is especially true when families are separated by long distances and a cross-country road trip or flight isn’t possible as often as they might like.
  • But even day to day interactions are made easier by social media.
  • Maybe your grandma hears about your new promotion on Facebook instead of finding out at Thanksgiving dinner months for now.
  • Maybe your grandpa is able to reconnect with a high school friend that he hasn’t spoken to in years.
  • Whatever it is, these interactions have a huge positive impact on how seniors feel about their relationships with friends and family.

Keeping an active mind

  • Social media keeps the mind engaged, which can, in turn, lead to better memory.
  • Social media platforms are ever-changing and fast paced. By being an active user, older people are challenging their minds to keep up with this pace.
  • And just like with physical exercise, the more you make your brain work, the stronger it is.
  • Research has found that social media for seniors likely plays a large role in mental health. This can result in less depression and more overall satisfaction with life.

Keeping an active body

  • Have you ever been scrolling through your Facebook feed and felt that little pang of jealousy? Maybe someone you know was doing something more fun than you.
  • That can actually be a huge motivating factor to get up and do something. Since staying active is one of the best ways to stay healthy as you age, this can have a huge impact on overall health.
  • During a study that was conducted in the UK and Italy, older members of the community were introduced to social media. The effects it had on them were monitored.
  • One woman reported finding a new love of life through social media. The 70-year-old claimed to have been invigorated. She lost a significant amount of weight and dyed her hair yellow.
  • Even if the changes aren’t so drastic as shedding unwanted pounds, just being motivated to go out to the flower garden in the front yard or take a walk through the park. Anything beyond your regular routine — can have great benefits for physical health.
  • Social media for seniors may seem unimportant to some, but it really does have the ability to positively affect your health and that of aging loved ones. Health Benefits of Social Media for Seniors
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