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How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone
Aging

How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

The concept of growing older without household support can be a shocking wake up call. That’s what happened to me after providing home care help for my older parents. The needs they had were extremely challenging for my sister and I, and when they died, it forced me to question, who will do all that for me? You see, I’m single, and have no children. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone
The care I provided for mom and dad included daily living tasks like house cleaning, cooking, shopping, transportation to medical appointments and treatments, and even managing their medications. And when they passed, I had lots of time to reflect on the caregiving years and realized how difficult elder care can be. It takes a village to meet the needs an older person. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone
According to the U.S. Census, the number of people over 65, living alone, will expand due to high divorce rates and child-free marriages of baby boomers. It’s why I’ve created a plan of action and will continue to tweak it as my needs change. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

To create support for myself, I launched the Elder Orphan Facebook group, and since many of us form close ties, offer suggestions for transportation, solve serious issues, and even celebrate one another’s birthdays, we feel less alone and isolated. The online Facebook group has helped several members cope with difficult situations, even cancer, and strokes. We give one another peace of mind and place to go for friendship and connection.

Since it’s a global group, several members have started local groups for social interactions. But for me, I realize there’s so much more we can do together. We are strong, capable, and savvy. Our next steps go beyond making connections but also to form a social and support network that handles the types of tasks that normally family members deliver, such as:

Rides
Meals
Personal care
Cleaning
Shopping
At the local level. How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

A challenge? Yes. But as I say, we’re smart and resourceful.

This past week, groups from California to Florida met to discuss possibilities. We’re going beyond social needs and creating solutions for the following:

Discounts from local businesses
Housing options
Transportation options
Food delivery
Companionship resources
Volunteering

To name a few.
The members in my group in Dallas divvied up the tasks —

How to prepare for a surgery
Create a list of members and our contact information
Where to go for employment support and to find a job
Find housing options
Research needed local services
Locate free places to meet and plan

We’re just getting started on our “aging with friends” plan and we’re new at this but overall, the local meetings have turned out better than we planned. Each one of us walked away feeling lighter, more comfortable and hopeful that our aging alone journey will be void of being alone without support.
If you live in Dallas, join us. If you don’t, I invite you to the main Facebook group — and encourage you to start your local community. Don’t worry if you don’t know how, in a few months, the Dallas group intends to have a roadmap and a plan in place for others to mirror. How Aging with Friends Fills the

If you’re open to new adventures and want to learn new strategies for finding part-time work, how to develop new skills, find online games, and discover technology that helps you age in place, I invite you to opt-in to my upcoming Newsletter called Age with Purpose. It will roll out in a few weeks, and arrive via email every week. No doubt you’ll enjoy and look forward to its arrival. Just fill out the linked form and you’ll be on the list to receive the Age with Purpose Newsletter.

How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone How Aging with Friends Fills the Void of Being Alone

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What are Guaranteed Issue Rights for Medigap
Aging

This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

The lifestyle and concept of aging alone is not new, but in the U.S. more people experience aging at home without the support of family nearby (2010 Census.) In the rural area where I grew up, the older generations never worried about being left alone without help. Families saw to it that older members had a place to live, food on the table, received help with daily living, and a bed. Our elders shared in social activities and never felt left out. Even the local township and churches actively participated in caring for elders when they were alone. It gave us a sense of paying it forward or making a difference, not fulfilling an obligation. But in larger cities, there may have been an epidemic of loneliness and isolation, just not where I grew up. This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt

Family dynamics have shifted and altered over the last 50 years. More people have moved from their home towns to prepare for adulthood and headed off to college. That’s what happened in my family. However, when my parents needed me in their elder years, their offspring rallied to help. But not all families are capable or willing.
As for me, I wonder who will care for me later on? I’m in my mid-sixties and have no children or a spouse and since I want to surround myself with like-minded individuals, I started a Facebook group to help mitigate our loneliness, lack of support, and to share knowledge and insights on coping. And sometimes we celebrate the decades of shared memories. Over the past year, some members even meet locally.
Most members in the group accept that problems like loneliness, job dissatisfaction, social isolation, ability to make friends, finding worthwhile free time pursuits, dealing with dysfunctional families or physical limitations may apply just as much to a younger adult, a healthy child or teenager, and even a disabled Millennial, or the married couple next door, but generally speaking, older adults may have a harder time with isolation than the younger individuals, excluding people living with a disability.

The Difficult Aging Concerns and Issues

In our group, we discuss tough issues and many times share resources, words of encouragement, and tips that help us get by during difficult times. I believe if one has a family member nearby, it’s easier (but not less painful or worrisome) to face a challenge, an impending medical treatment, and even a hospital stay. However, having support and the love of another individual goes a long way to relieve anxiety.

Real aging alone worries — and support given

  • “Being in the hospital alone. I’ve gone to the ER due to serious breathing issues. Wrote an email to my only family, a brother 600 miles away of my wishes for my cats, my health directives, cremation and my estate.”
  • “I’ve had serious blood pressure issues recently and was hospitalized too. Hope you are better soon. Wish I was closer to help you out if needed.”
  • “Inspired by a (late) friend, I have made a will and I’m currently seeking some sort of pre-arranged cremation services and have contacted my sisters 3,000 miles away and made them aware of my wishes and cleared it with them. Now, since I am the only one left, I can get on living the remaining chapters.”
  • “I had serious back surgery recently and like you will be pretty much alone. To say that I’m terrified would be an understatement. I just know that I’ve done everything else for my back and this is the last step to see if I get any relief from pain which goes on 24/7. This will be a six-hour surgery so not a walk in the park. I certainly empathize with you and hope you will keep me in your thoughts on Thursday.”
  • “I need to coordinate the legal docs and appoint a guardian, maybe a lawyer, to work with the hospital and funeral director. At the end of the day, it may be a smarter more caring choice than distant family.”
  • “Two weeks ago I had surgery and heard the question we all dread..do you have someone to pick you up?”
  • “For the 1st time…I enlisted friends. It was empowering. But ..they won’t always be there.”
  • “This is where we experience the heart of our and sadness. It also brings up so many past hurts and regrets.”
  • “I have no one to manage my affairs when I die. I’m not worried about my fur baby…….there are at least four people who would take him in a heart beat. He’s such a love! But people don’t want to be involved with handling things when a person dies……….unless they are family and I have none.”

Hopes and wisdom shared

  • “We are not alone! Children are negligent and don’t show up—even adult children see sick parents once a year.”
  • “Husbands of chronically ill women can be negligent and nasty. Many of them have family dysfunction and estrangement.”
  • “As I’m writing this and seeing these oppressed and neglected married women with children..we might take a different approach and congratulate ourselves on being strong survivors of life.”
  • “I was in another country, and I developed a.sac of water around my heart. I didn’t die, but I’m still having a lot of trouble walk-ins, lifting, rolling over in bed, etc. It sucks to have no one to call on. I’m new to the area.”
  • “DRGs are the worse thing for single patients. Please make sure the Social Worker knows that you go home to no one and that you have no one to check up on you. Maybe they can transfer you to assisted living for a week or two.”
  • “Whatever you do, DO NOT LEAVE until 1) you have a diagnosis that makes sense to you, and 2) there is someone to come and get you, and see you safely home.”
  • “I’m thrilled by social experiments all over the world bringing students or teens together with the aging in win/win situations. As we face a changing reality don’t forget all of our positives and benefits. The retired have more free time and a lifetime of experience to share. Consider mentoring a young entrepreneur, teaching scouts how to cook, sew, crochet, train a dog. What did our grands teach us? Pass it on!”
Some individuals may read the article and say, “how depressing,” whereas a member of the group, me, would read and say, “how refreshing, people aging at home alone, have a platform to be heard and supported.” This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt
New Aging Dilemma: Living Alone At Home

This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt

This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt This Is Why Aging Alone Is Harder And How We Adapt

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Aging without Family for Support
Aging

Aging without Family for Support

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

In the aging process, an older person can adapt and handle the physical and mental challenges of decline if they have some form of nearby support. But not every older American has access to a family member or a friend to give occasional help. Aging without Family for Support
There’s an unseen group of seniors that the health care industry has recently noticed. It’s the community-dwelling aged who are socially and/or physically isolated, without an available known family member or designated caregiver.
They’ve been in plain sight for years but since boomers are entering the 60 plus population, the demographic will intensify, due to the group’s known status of having the highest divorce rates and childless marriages. And in a matter of a few decades, the chronic diseases will put a heavy burden on the medical care providers.
What’s needed from the medical care teams and the local community-based support services is a better process and a way to track and assess the risks. The individuals need education, support, and guidance to prepare for becoming frail and dependent. But more importantly, they need to receive a thorough screening for the high risks of aging alone.
Some requirements would include:

  • To learn what’s needed in designing the advanced directives
  • To select a trustworthy healthcare proxy
  • To learn how to set up a care plan far in advance of needing acute care.
  • To learn how to prevent avoidable hospital admissions
  • To find services that help with medical, functional, social, and safety needs
  • To locate social services, adult protective services, and senior agencies
  • To learn the health strategies that help them avoid negative events
  • To build a support group

To better help all seniors, not just the people who live without support in the household, the aging industry and service professionals should become aware of the risks that endanger older adults lives.

  • Social support – Low social support links to both poor physical and psychological health and an increased risk of mortality for the elderly population. Moreover, decreased social interaction that can stem from this lack of support which correlates with low effect and arousal, poor cognitive and social skills, and altered mental functioning.
  • Isolation and loneliness – Isolation is the state of having minimal contact with others, whereas loneliness is the feeling of being socially alone and isolated. Both of these states are identified as risk factors for physical, and cognitive decline.
  • Childlessness – Living without the support of family caregivers is an important risk factor for social isolation. Many studies have shown that childless adults often do have support networks, usually consisting of relatives, friends, and neighbors. However, these networks are less likely to provide the long-term commitment and comparable high level of support that children offer.
    Here is another great article about choosing a location to live if you are a “Solo Ager.”
    Aging without Family for Support Aging without Family for Support Aging without Family for Support Aging without Family for Support

    Aging without Family for Support

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6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression
Conditions & Treatments

6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

According to the latest estimates from the World Health Organization (WHO), more than 300 million people worldwide live with depression. These estimates make depression the leading cause of ill health and disability at a global scale. The number of people with depression increased by more than 18% between 2005 and 2015. 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression

Below world statistics on depression, as reported by the WHO. Depression In Older Adults
6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression
Depression around the world according to regions, as specified in the infographic:

Region Percentage
African region 9%
Eastern Mediterranean region 16%
European region 12%
South-East Asia region 27%
Region of the Americas 15%
Western Pacific region 21%

 
Nearly 50% of these people live in the South-East Asia region and Western Pacific region, reflecting the relatively larger populations of those two regions (which include India and China, for example).
In order to raise awareness, the 2017 World Health Day (April 7th) will focus on depression. To this aim, the WHO has organized a year-long campaign, Depression: let’s talk.
In terms of support available for people with mental health disorders, the need of increased investments is clear. Even in high-income countries, nearly 50% of people with depression do not get treatment. On average, just 3% of government health budgets is invested in mental health, varying from less than 1% in low-income countries to 5% in high-income countries.

How is depression affecting the elderly?

Depressive disorders involve sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of tiredness, disturbed sleep or appetite, feelings of guilt or low self- worth, and poor concentration. Depression impairs the ability of an individual to function at work or school and cope with daily life.

In 2015, 4.4% of the global population is estimated to live with depression. Depression is more common among females (5.1%) than men (3.6%).
In terms of age groups, prevalence peaks in older adulthood (above 7.5% among females aged 55-74 years, and above 5.5% among males).
This striking number has encouraged us to focus on depression in the elderly, as it is often overlooked and untreated.
There are various factors that can lead to depression as a consequence of life changes that come with aging.
“One thing that is vital to understand when dealing with depression in older adults is that they are often having to deal with loss,” says Louise Morse, cognitive behavioral therapist at Pilgrims’ Friend Society. “Loss of physical and mental agility, perhaps, but always loss of family members, both older ones (who passed away) and younger ones (who moved away for work). The combination of losses can be overwhelming. They lose people who help reflect back to them their identity: people they can bounce things off and trust, people with whom they have shared memories”.
There are signs, behaviors, and actions that should not be taken for granted or belittled as normal aspects of aging. Signs to look out for include:

  • loss of interest in activities that they would normally enjoy and inability to carry out daily activities, for at least two weeks
  • loss of energy, change in appetite; different sleeping patterns; anxiety; reduced concentration; restlessness; feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or hopelessness; and thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
  • depression among older people is often associated with physical conditions, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes. Life events, such as losing a partner; and a reduced ability to do things that were possible when younger, may also contribute to depression.

Depression is treatable, with talking therapies or antidepressant medication or a combination of these.

How can you help?

6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression

1. Listen without judgment

Offer unconditional support and listen closely to what the person says: little or subtle changes in their life can be warning signs.

2. Look for subtle signs

Read up on and get a clear understanding of depression. Signs of distress may involve wringing hands excessively, getting agitated or irritable, or having difficulty sitting still. Older adults often do not say they feel sad or lonely because they don’t want to be a burden on the family. Other possible signs include loss of appetite or interest in activities that they used to enjoy for more than two weeks.

3. Get active in their care

Go to appointments together and if any medication is prescribed, help your elderly relative to take them. Help them have a regular eating and sleeping pattern and encourage them to undertake everyday activities and practice exercise.

4. Talk about how they feel and offer support

It’s really important to hear them out and honor their emotions. The elderly are often less likely to cope with loss or difficult life events. “One thing that could really help is to go over some of their memories and walk through their landscape. They can feel very isolated at times”, says Louise Morse.

5. Realize that treatment is key

Depression can be treated. Family members should be aware of the disability that depression can cause and should offer their support in receiving the right treatment.

6. Stay in contact

Let the person feel you are available for them. At the same time, don’t take care over their life and do things that they can do for themselves. It would only reinforce their perception that they are worthless and incapable. Instead, help them break tasks into steps and praise them for any efforts.
Another great article: “When you feel lonely”
By JunoMedical
www.junomedical.com

For more information about depression:

World Health Organization (WHO): http://www.who.int/topics/depression/en/
Anxiety and Depression Association of America: https://www.adaa.org/
American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/topics/depression/
European Depression Association: http://eddas.eu/

6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression

6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression 6 Ways for Seniors to Beat Depression
Depression In Older Adults Depression In Older Adults Depression In Older Adults Depression In Older Adults

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Seniors Concerns and Needs
Aging

Senior Concerns and Needs

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak
Senior living and housing expenses are significant concerns for older individuals when aging alone, and topics like affordable shelter, transportation, isolation, and lack of connections hold anxiety. Senior Concerns and Needs
The 65 and over age group continues to grow since the boomers now enter the demographic. There are thousands of us on our own, and we are in good company. The elder orphan Facebook group that launched last year now has close to 5,000 members. We face similar challenges, like finding personal care after surgery or if we’re sick and feeling lonely due to isolation.
But it’s not just people living alone that faces these challenges, the married and partnered, and those with adult children have similar concerns. It’s because our most affordable living options are in the suburbs, far from convenient shopping, public transit, and attainable social connections.
It’s the female population that have the greatest numbers in the group category. The statistics show the total seniors in the U.S. to be over 11 million, and of those living alone, 71% are female. Even though men have a higher chance of remarrying, there are a few of them on their own, and many complain about loneliness and isolation.
Research examining loneliness identified functional, psychosocial, and physiologic ill effects, including diminished physical activity, lessened motor function, depression, disrupted sleep, and impaired mental and cognitive function.
Since loneliness is a big concern for older individuals, we must start early and plan when we’re young and healthy enough to set up a lifestyle that minimizes the risks of loneliness, minimal transportation, and living expenses.
The National Institute of Health says that separation is not good for anyone, no matter the age. So, we need to seek out healthy lifestyles like co- and shared housing, independent and assisted living communities, and intentional and intergenerational neighborhoods, all designed to promote connection and support. Each combine the benefits of private homes with those of sustainable living.
All of these lifestyles blend resources for mixed-age communities. Like many, I do not want to age alone. I may live on my own, but, I want to do so in an environment that supports social connections, lifelong learning, fulfilling activities and easy access to transportation. I also want to live in a place that includes all ages, not just the 55+ age group.
Aging without Family Support
New Aging Dilemma: Lving Alone at Home
 

Senior Concerns and Needs

Senior Concerns and Needs Senior Concerns and Needs Senior Concerns and Needs

 

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How Denial About Decline Compromises Senior Care
Housing Tips

Data helps seniors determine where to live

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

Seniors want data when searching for the best place to retire. While the younger people have their own lifestyle criteria, older adults have stricter requirements because as they grow older, their needs expand. Data helps seniors determine where to live
AARP claims Social Security is the foundation of retirement and 84 percent of people age 65 and older receive benefits. Social Security provides more than a third of income for retirees which is hardly enough to survive since the average benefit in the U.S. is $17,189/year according to the Census survey. Data helps seniors determine where to live
So what do seniors look for when evaluating areas to retire? The majority want to keep working and live in a state where housing is affordable. Data helps seniors determine where to live
Using the U.S. Census data and other government surveys, let’s compare three states in the country based on work and housing to see which would be the best state to retire. I’ve selected Arizona, Minnesota, and Texas for my own analysis.

Arizona

  • There are 215,982 seniors living alone in Arizona. Of these, 68% are female.
  • Average social security income is $18,179/year
  • The median household income for an Arizona senior is $39,445
  • The number of seniors working in the state is 13 percent
  • 83 percent own a home and 21 percent of the owners spend over 35% of their monthly budget on a mortgage
  • The number of people aged 65 and over in Arizona is projected to rise 101% over the next 15 years, from 1,181,358 to 2,371,354.

Minnesota

  • There are 201,459 seniors living alone in Minnesota. Of these, 72% are female.
  • Average social security income for all seniors is $17,798/year
  • The median household income for a Minnesota senior is $37,329
  • The number of seniors working in the state is 16 percent
  • 78 percent own a home and 32 percent have a mortgage. Those with a house payment, 20 percent spends over 35% of their monthly budget on it.
  • The number of people aged 65 and over in Minnesota is projected to rise 54% over the next 15 years, from 774,390 to 1,193,124.

Texas

  • There are 638,725 seniors living alone in Texas. Of these, 70% are female.
  • Average social security income is $16,334/year
  • The median household income for a Texas senior is $36,915
  • The number of seniors working in Texas is 17 percent
  • 81 percent own a home and 32 percent have a mortgage. Those with a house payment, 20 percent spends over 35% of their monthly budget on one.
  • The number of people aged 65 and over in Texas is projected to rise 67% over the next 15 years, from 3,112,883 to 5,186,185.

At initial glance, from the perspective of a single female, aging alone, Texas is a better fit for me since there are more people in my predicament (solo agers.) My first assessment is crude, but the housing and mortgage numbers tell me that homes are more affordable in Texas and Arizona. Plus, both project to have a higher rate of people my age down the road.
Even so, having a job helps people thrive, and having one is vital to me. The Harris poll found 54 percent of workers (age 60+) say they will work part or full-time after retirement. Texas has a slightly higher number of working seniors than Arizona or Minnesota.
The city guides can give you much more insight than the little I give today. You can do your individual assessments by using the data provided for over 8,000 cities across the country. Data helps seniors determine where to live Data helps seniors determine where to live Data helps seniors determine where to live

Data helps seniors determine where to live

Data helps seniors determine where to live

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