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Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home
Caregiving

Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Setting Up a Multi-Generational Household Isn’t Just About Moving Furniture

A sudden fall or illness can make a family rethink their living situation. If an aging parent has been living well independently for years, a sudden health crisis can bring up a big decision for a family. Do you move a formerly independent parent in with you to better care for them? Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home
Most families decide to move their mom or dad in with them as soon as possible. It is easier to move a parent to you than to move your family to them, particularly if you and your spouse have not retired. Initially, all goes well and everyone is happy to be together, but after the dust settles and the novelty wears off, it can pose challenges for everyone.

Deciding Who Is in Charge in the Multigenerational Household

It can be difficult to settle into new roles when you’re all under one roof. You’ve each lived many years running your own household, and even though you’re related, you may run your households differently from each other.
Set some ground rules early to reduce resentment. This is particularly important if you have children in the home. You will need to agree on who is able to discipline your child and how to go about disagreements. Its one thing when you are together for a short visit and your mom goes over your head on a parenting decision. If you are living together, it can undermine your role as the parent. Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home
Try to keep the roles as they always have been – grandparent/parent/child to reduce frustration and confusion. Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home
Your mom may also feel uncomfortable not being able to contribute to the household. Work together to find ways that she can contribute to running the home that don’t conflict with how you like things done. Did your mom enjoy making family meals on Sunday? Re-start the tradition. Is there a task that your mom enjoys that you can pass on? I love folding laundry. It feels relaxing to me. If I suddenly didn’t have to do it anymore and had someone doing it for me, it would feel weird. I would feel awkward having my laundry done by someone else. By the same token, I hate doing dishes, so if someone wanted to take that off my plate, I’d be thrilled!

Making Mom Feel at Home

I had a client who moved in with her daughter after her husband passed away. While the mother was happy to live with her daughter and the daughter never intentionally made her mother feel like it wasn’t her home, she didn’t feel at home. She was frustrated when there wasn’t a cooking tool she needed that she had at home. She was frustrated that they lived far from stores and public transportation, making her feel trapped. Obviously, her daughter couldn’t move the house, but she did find simple, affordable transportation options for her mom and tried to make her feel more comfortable in the home. Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home
How can you make your mom feel at home? Stock the kitchen with tools that she uses, even if you have never been much of a cook. Make sure she has her own private space and that her privacy is respected. Just because the room is in your home, doesn’t mean you can go into her room whenever you want. Pick up some amenities she likes. My friend’s mother moved in with her family a few years ago. Her mom enjoys drinking a beer in the evening when she watches TV. My friend and her husband prefer wine over beer, but they purchased a small mini fridge for the den and stocked it with her mom’s favorite beer, which is what she had at home.

Build a Social Network Outside Your Own Family

One of the biggest mistakes families make when they move their parent home with them is to assume that time with the family is enough social interaction. In many cases, the parent not only lost their spouse, but their home, neighborhood, friends and local family when they moved in with them. That’s a lot of change at once. Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home
You can’t give them back the things they’ve lost, but you can help them re-build in their new community. If your family belongs to a church, look into a senior group of volunteer opportunities that would be appropriate for your parent. Encourage them to join their local senior center, and better yet, if the senior center has a grief support group, encourage them to join. Meeting other people who have suffered the same loss will help with their healing. Did they enjoy taking classes at home? Look into options in your community and through your local community college.
If you are at work all day, think of how much time mom will be sitting home alone in your empty house. Loneliness can lead to poor physical and mental well-being so it is important to help set your mom up for success by establishing a new social network.

Is the Multigenerational Home the Right Fit?

Multi-generational living isn’t for everyone. I’ve had clients complain about living with their children and grandchildren as they were used to quiet and the house suddenly felt very chaotic. I’ve also had adult children complain that their parent is constantly undermining their parenting decisions, causing problems with their spouse and children.
You don’t need to live in the same house to be close to each other. If you don’t have the luxury of a mother-in-law suite, is there an apartment complex nearby where your mother can rent an apartment? I had a client who preferred living in an assisted living facility near her daughter because while they all got along really well, she was a very social person and was bored spending 8 – 10 hours a day alone. She had made friends in the neighborhood, but they only saw each other a few times a week. She moved into an assisted living facility and arranged nightly happy hours, movie nights and shopping trips with friends she made in the building.
There is no one-size-fits all for moving your parent closer to you. You’ll need to do what’s best for all generations of your family. The most important things to remember are to be respectful of each other’s needs and make sure that you set yourselves up to succeed.

Moving An Elderly Parent Closer to Your Home

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Caregiving

Aging Parents: Plan for All Seasons

by Guest Blogger
written by Guest Blogger

Plan now for where your elders will live as they age. Get their vision for what they want to happen if they need care or accommodations for an illness. Having a plan is the key. It reduces the stress, eases the frustration and makes caregiving easier for all involved. I’ve boiled it down to 3 steps.

Do your elders want to live at their own home as long as they can? Do they have a vision for where they’ll want to be if the time comes when they need care? Does each family member have a role?

First – talk to your elders. Do they want to live in their current home as they age (called aging in place)? Do they want to move to a retirement community where there is a continuum of care (independent living to assisted living to nursing or memory care, if needed)? Do they want to move to be near you or one of your siblings? Do they already have a retirement residence where they want to move?

This first step is critical. Discussing these details with your elders puts everyone on the same page. It brings all the parties who will be a part of their care into the same discussion. You can better accommodate their vision if you know what it is.

Waiting until the first emergency is not a plan. The resulting panic will probably not result in a decision that looks like what it would have if you had developed a plan and executed it.

Second – Based on input from your elders, your siblings and/or other family members, work toward developing a plan that incorporates your elder’s wishes, takes your own needs into consideration and can be accomplished within the budget that your family has.

If they want to age in place, you can help your elders make necessary accommodations to their home or property. Do those things now, before an emergency would make those changes infeasible.

If assets need to be sold to build a budget for care, work on a plan to maximize revenues and minimize the hassle of having to sell immediately because they need the money.

If they want to live with you, near you or near one of your family members, start looking for the right residential fit. If it’s in your home, you can start making any necessary changes now – additions, retrofits for older folks, etc. If it is moving to a retirement or assisted living facility residence, check out what’s available and arrange for a tour. Whatever their choices are, develop a plan, move to the next steps and don’t wait.

If your elder already has a retirement residence, are there any accommodations that might need to be made as they age? If yes, decide when/how those can be cost-effectively made and set a timeline in place. It may not be needed now, but determine at what point the changes would need to be made and stay on track to make them if the need arises.

Third – Know that even the best plans change. Keep an open mind about what might happen if their health changes or they need more care than can be given where they planned to live. Make them aware that you will incorporate their wishes and their vision as much as you can.

Have a positive attitude about this journey. Know it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Laugh as much as you can. Giggle when you find something funny and share that giggle with your elder.

If you know what your elder wants, you can develop a plan that incorporates your needs as well, recognizing that life happens and things change. You will have gone a long way to ease your stress in the caregiving/caretaking role. Frustration arises most often when an emergency happens, no plan is in place and you find yourself in PANIC mode. Making decisions in the PANIC mode produces the MOST stress and the LEAST optimal solutions.

Get out your calendar and set a date with your elders. With the holidays coming up, now is the perfect time to talk to your elders with the whole family there.

Start the conversation.

By Suzanne Asaff Blankenship

Suzanne’s experience with eldercare came the hard way – by doing it. Suzanne has two decades of experience managing her mother’s care as well as sharing the care for her in-laws. After years of sharing stories and receiving requests for advice, Suzanne found she wasn’t alone in her eldercare journey, or in her search for solutions. With her unique approach of organized preparation sprinkled with her tongue-in-cheek humor, Suzanne guides others skillfully through the challenging experience of eldercare.

theeldercarenavigator.com

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10 Dementia Warning Signs to Look for this Holiday Season
Caregiving

Taking Care of Elderly Parents

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

There comes a time in many people’s lives in which they need to start taking care of elderly parents. For some people, that means setting up services that will come to their parent’s home. For others, it means making changes to the schedule to be available to care for them. If you’re faced with this situation right now, consider these tips to make the situation much easier to handle. Taking Care of Elderly Parents

Tips for Taking Care of Elderly Parents

#1: Learn About Your Parent’s Needs

Before you’re able to care for your parent, you’ll need to know his/her needs. Ask medical professionals he/she has seen recently for recommendations, and always discuss your parent’s needs and wants with him/her. Your parent should always be involved in the decision making process.

#2: Assess Your Situation

You may have a spouse and children, which could make tending to the needs of your parent difficult. Consider the time you spend with your family and how much you have available to take care of your mother or father. Being realistic will prevent you from becoming overwhelmed.

#3: Decide What You Can Do

Once you know how much time you have to devote to your parent, you can decide on the needs you can fulfill. This may be transporting your parent to medical appointments, helping with groceries, etc.

#4: Find Services for Other Needs

For the needs you can’t fulfill, search for services in your community that can help. Usually, social services, senior centers, and other organizations specializing in senior care will have services available for support.

#5: Listen and Help

Many senior citizens start to feel lonely because their loved ones don’t pay much attention to them, and then when they do speak, they don’t genuinely listen to their needs and wants. Take some time each week (at least) to sit down and ask how he/she is and if there is anything else that’s needed. It may take a few minutes out of your day, but this is one of the needs that senior citizens benefit from and thrive on during this stage of life.
If you’re unable to provide that time to listen to your parent because of other responsibilities, consider using the services of a personal consultant. Kendall Van Blarcom works with the elderly population to help fulfill the need of a human connection in which seniors can express themselves to someone who is actively listening.

Support for Caregivers

As you’re taking care of elderly parents, know that you have needs that must be fulfilled as well. You need to feel as though you’re understood. You have many feelings and thoughts running through you right now, and some of them, you may not even understand yourself. When you consult with someone like Kendall, you get that relief you’re so desperately looking for from other people.
Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents

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10 Dementia Warning Signs to Look for this Holiday Season
Caregiving

Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life EasierCaregivers lead busy lives. Many are part of the sandwich generation, meaning they are providing care for both their own children and an elderly relative and 60% of caregivers are employed full-time. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier
Keeping up with caregiving responsibilities and the tasks can be overwhelming. How does one person manage the cooking, cleaning, laundry and care for two households, while providing care well? The answer is, one person doesn’t. It takes a village. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

1. Meals Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

Preparing meals for two households can be a challenge. I find that cooking a big batch of dinners over the weekend helps cut down on the chaos of getting dinner on the table after a long day of work. I spend about 2-3 hours making a few simple meals that can be reheated throughout the week. I typically prepare a pasta dish that will last 2-3 meals and some sort of chicken casserole dish that is loaded with vegetables. We supplement the meals with salad or vegetable sides. It isn’t exciting to eat the same meals throughout the week, but it is efficient and so far, there have been no complaints.
If you are making meals for your family and also need to ensure that your parent(s) are fed in their home, you can always package up some of your meals for them to reheat throughout the week, or try a home delivery service. Meals on Wheels http://www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org/ delivers to senior homes. They deliver around lunchtime, but most of my customers saved the meal for dinner, since they preferred to eat their more substantial meal in the evening. If they aren’t interested in the food from Meals on Wheels, there are a number of food delivery services available now that they may prefer. While some provide the ingredients and leave the cooking to you, there are some services geared specifically towards seniors that come fully cooked.
Meal delivery services (outside of Meals on Wheels) can be pricey, so if you can’t afford to have meals delivered to your parents, perhaps you can pay someone to prepare food for them. This is where you get creative. Do you have a friend whose son or daughter is interested in cooking? Does a neighbor have a cleaning person who prepares meals for their family? Is there someone from church who loves to cook but has an empty nest? Think about your “village” and who can possibly fill this gap. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

2. Grocery shopping

A few weeks ago, I ran into a good friend who is a working mom with twins. We were talking about how hard it is to get everything done on weekends and still squeeze in fun with our families. She shared a tip with me that has literally been life changing. She has been ordering groceries through Amazon Prime Now and they are delivered from her local grocery store in two hours, with no service charge, outside of a tip.
Two weeks ago, we had a super busy weekend and were out all day Saturday and would be out all day Sunday. My husband was leaving town for the week on Tuesday and I had stitches in my neck, so I was unable to grocery shop. I decided to give Amazon Prime Now a try. While I was still in bed at 7:30 a.m. on Sunday, I took out my phone and ordered all of our produce, dairy, protein and necessities for the week. Our groceries arrived at 10 a.m., much to my husband’s surprise. He was planning to shop after the kids were in bed at 8:30 p.m. It only cost us an extra $9 for the tip, but was well worth that nominal fee. Life changing.
I also knew of many adult children who didn’t live near their parents set up grocery delivery through Vons.com and Yummy.com. Once you try online ordering, you may never go back to the grocery store!
Of course, if your mom or dad prefers to go to the grocery store and select his or her own apples, bananas and broccoli, you can always outsource the transportation. Many cities offer a City Ride shuttle transportation service that is very low cost and ideal for grocery trips. If your city doesn’t offer a suitable resource, you can consider asking a retired neighbor or stay at home mom if they would be able to take your parent along when they go grocery shopping. I know many of my customers looked forward to grocery shopping because they got out of the house and had built-in socializing.

3. Laundry Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

I’m sorry. There aren’t many laundry shortcuts, outside of outsourcing. Trust me, if there was a shortcut, I would be implementing it. It amazes me how much laundry a family of four can produce!
While there aren’t many shortcuts, one thing I have found is I prefer doing laundry at my condominium complex than at my parent’s home. Why? At my complex, we can do four loads at one time – a huge timesaver!
If you don’t live in a multi-unit building with several machines, you can always pack up your laundry and take it to a laundromat. I used to do this when I lived in an apartment that never had available units and it was a huge timesaver. You can wash as many loads as you need to in less than two hours. This could double as your “me” time, since while the laundry is in a machine, you have nothing to do but sit and wait. Take a book, take your bills or listen to your favorite music.
If your parents don’t have a lot of laundry, or you don’t want to sit at a laundromat, you can outsource to a fluff and fold service. Many dry cleaners offer fluff and fold, priced by weight, so you may want to do the sheets and towels at home and outsource the clothing.

4. Bill paying and mail pile up

If you haven’t already set up online bill pay, drop everything and do it now. Even if you have bills that fluctuate, you can set up the payee and when the bill comes, put in the amount due and set up the payment date. You can set this up on your bank’s website and it takes very little time to set up and costs nothing.
You can set up bill pay for your bills and your parents’ bills, reducing the amount of paper you need to touch every month. I don’t know about you, but we get mountains of paper and if we don’t stay on top of it, we feel like we’re drowning.
On the paper mountain note, you can set up your bills for electronic billing and opt out of junk mail to reduce the amount of paper coming into your home. Here are some resources I came across that can help reduce the paper clutter: Federal Trade Commission Consumer Information https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0262-stopping-unsolicited-mail-phone-calls-and-email, National Do Not Mail List http://www.directmail.com/mail_preference/ and Catalog Choice https://www.catalogchoice.org/. I admit, I have not embarked on this task yet, but it is on my to do list.
These little tweaks to your life can give you back a lot of extra time. Take that time to practice a little bit of self-care or spend quality time with a loved one. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier
 
 

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How to Handle Changes in Aging Parent
Aging

How to Handle Changes in Aging Parents

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Helping Your Aging Parent Remain Safe at Home

Whether you live near your aging parents or across the country from them, it can be difficult to see signs of aging. Your parents have always been the family leaders and suddenly, you notice that they’re not able to manage certain aspects of their life. They may also be working very hard to make sure you don’t see physical or cognitive changes. How to Handle Changes in Aging Parent
I worked with many elderly clients who intentionally hid their health issues from their children. They kept phone calls short or used all of their energy during visits, only to collapse from exhaustion after the visit was over. The only way their adult children got a peek into their actual physical and cognitive conditions was to visit for extended periods.
If you can’t schedule an extended visit to your aging parent, there are things to watch for to assess their well-being. Changes in your aging parent’s behavior or cognitive abilities may be a sign that you need to consider stepping is as a caregiver, even if you are stepping in as a long-distance caregiver. How to Handle Changes in Aging Parent
If your aging parent is intentionally hiding his/her well-being, it may be hard to recognize signs that they need caregiving assistance.

How to Evaluate Your Aging Parent’s Health

If you haven’t visited your aging parent in a while, there are some signs that you can look for to determine whether they are in good health. In addition to the signs below, you should also look for signs of malnutrition, which can be common with the elderly.

  1. Weight Loss or Weight Gain: Has your aging parent experienced an unexplained change in weight? It could be due to eating habits, but it could also be related to a health condition.
  2. Bruising Or Other Signs of Falls: Has your aging parent sustained frequent injuries from falls? This could be a safety issue related to common fall risks, but it could also be related to medical issues. Note – if possible, consider video calls so you can actually see them. I had many clients who hid pretty significant falls from family since they lived far away and didn’t have the opportunity to visit.
  3. Inability to Communicate Clearly: Is your aging parent struggling to follow conversations or forgetting things that are part of their everyday life? You may need to set up an appointment with his/her physician. Note – if your aging parent is always rushing to get off the phone, this could be a sign that he or she doesn’t want you to notice changes in communication.
  4. Changes to Household: Is your aging parent’s home suddenly unkempt, particularly if they are normally very neat? Are bills going unpaid? Is the refrigerator empty? These changes may mean that they are overwhelmed or unable to do these tasks independently. It may be due to physical or cognitive changes.
  5. Changes in Appearance: Does your aging parent suddenly dress differently or appear sloppy? If your elderly mother used to wear makeup daily and clean, ironed clothes and is suddenly wearing dirty or stained clothing and looks unwashed, there may be a problem with her physical, emotional or cognitive well-being.
  6. Isolation: If your aging parent has recently lost the ability to drive or has lost friends who live nearby, they may become lonely. Loneliness accounts for both physical and emotional health challenges. It can be hard to make new friends as you age, but it is critical.

How to Evaluate Your Aging Parent’s Safety

If you are concerned about your aging parent’s safety, you’re in luck. Safety issues are much easier to fix. A few changes to the home can make it much easier for your aging parent to age in place. Additionally, as technology continues to advance, it will be easier for long-distance caregivers to monitor their aging parent’s safety.

  1. Elder Abuse: Elder abuse isn’t just physical. If you notice a new “friend” in your aging parent’s life who limits your access to your parent or seems to have control over your parent, you may need to be on high alert.
  2. Fall Risks: While some fall risks are medical, there are ways to make your aging parent’s home safer to limit their falls. They can also take a balance class through their local senior center or as part of physical therapy to help with frequent falls.
  3. General Safety Around the Home: Do they have proper lighting at their front door (or entry door)? Is there a railing for your aging parent to hold onto when climbing stairs? If your parent uses a walker, is there a ramp? It is really difficult to use stairs with a walker.
  4. Stranger Danger for Grown-Ups: An interesting thing I learned when working with my elderly clients is that they answer the phone whenever it rings and opens their front door to anyone who knocks. Unfortunately, unscrupulous fraud artists know this and take advantage of the elderly by phone or by coming to their front door.

It can be overwhelming to watch your aging parent decline and realize that you will need to step in as a caregiver. The good news is, in most cases, caregiving is a process. How to Handle Changes in Aging Parent
Your assistance may only be needed for simple tasks like making their home safe or having meals delivered. In many cases, the caregiver role is gradual. Don’t panic. You can do it. And if you aren’t able to do it yourself, there are resources available to get your aging parent help. How to Handle Changes in Aging Parent
Just remember, this is the person who took care of you for many years. If they need your help, there are ways to get them help or help them yourself without drowning. How to Handle Changes in Aging Parent

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Keeping Caregivers Healthy
Caregiving

Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

How to Juggle Caregiver Tasks When You Work Outside the Home

According to the National Caregiver Alliance and AARP, 60% of the approximately 43.5 million caregivers in the U.S. are employed, and most of them work outside the home full time. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
Between work, caregiving tasks and maintaining their own household, it’s no wonder the majority of caregivers report that they experience physical and emotional stress. Between work and caregiving, they are putting in at least 60 hours a week!

Shortcuts to Balance the Caregiver/Employee Roles

If you’re not able to cut back work or caregiving hours, how can you balance the two? Shortcuts, hacks and letting things go is a good start. Here are my best timesavers and hacks that I’ve used during extremely stressful and busy times.

1. Eat as well as I can:

I’d love to say, hey, get your 5 servings of vegetables and fruits in every day, but let’s face it, when you’re busy, the easiest food to eat is usually junk food or processed food. When I’m super busy, I try to make sure we’re stocked with portable healthy snacks such as granola bars, string cheese, yogurt, bananas, tangerines and apples. Aside from the yogurt and cheese, I can throw them in my bag or leave them in my car. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

2. Cook in bulk:

It isn’t the most exciting way to eat, but I usually cook two or three large meals at the beginning of the week and we re-heat throughout the week.

3. Sunday or Monday plan:

I once read an article about a woman who keeps her Mondays appointment free so that she could prepare herself for a successful week. Monday doesn’t work for most people who have a full-time job, but for me, Sunday evening is a great time to plan for the week. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
I personally prefer a paper calendar for planning, although I keep an electronic calendar so that I have it on my phone as well. For planning, I look at both and go through the days of the week and make sure we are covered for any appointments and activities. I bought a dry erase decal for my refrigerator that I use for any appointments that affect more than one person so my husband and I are on the same page.
If you are scheduling yourself and your parent, you may want to color code your schedule. One thing that tripped up a lot of my clients and their children was backing up times to allow for transportation. There were many times where they would accidentally leave for an appointment at the time they were supposed to arrive. One of my clients who was an executive assistant in her career had a great idea of putting her pick up time in pen and underneath, she would write the appointment time in pencil. I am hooked on these Bic four color pens since I can easily color-code without having to have multiple pens. They last forever. I have been using the same one for 2 years now. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

4. Schedule maintenance:

If you are so busy that you are barely getting through the day, making sure the little things continue to run is important, but challenging. Go ahead and put your car maintenance on your calendar ahead of time so that you don’t forget. The last thing you need is an expensive car repair. Are there other things you need to maintain? Think about what needs to be done to keep your life running smoothly and put it on your calendar before you forget – both for your home and your parent. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

5. Maximize your work day:

If you have to be in an office for eight hours a day, use your lunch or breaks to get some tasks done. During your planning time, list out any appointments you need to make (with phone numbers and any background info), shop for groceries online and do any other task that you don’t need to do in person. If you have your list and all the details ready to go, you can blaze through your list. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
If you don’t sit at a desk or don’t work at a computer, you can still take your lunch break to make any calls, set up appointments, etc. You can also shop on Amazon Prime Now from your cell phone.

6. Find off-hour service providers:

While most doctors only operate from 9 a.m. – 5 p.m., there are some dentists and even medical imaging centers that are open late or on weekends. I once had an MRI at 9 a.m. on a Saturday. Try to find providers that operate when you have more time for you and your parent so that you don’t need to use all of your time off for routine care.

7. Get creative:

I worked with a family who had a creative strategy for medical appointments. They hired us to transport the father to and from his appointment, but the daughter met him there, attended the appointment and went back to work. She only needed to take one hour off of work, versus 3 hours if she was providing transportation.
Can you find ways to be present without doing everything? Can you schedule appointments early in the morning so that you only miss an hour of work. Is there someone you can split the load with? Do you have a friend, neighbor or community member who has more free time and can assist with some of the manageable tasks like grocery shopping or errands? Is there someone you can hire to help with the errands? I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ve heard of sites like Task Rabbit, where you can hire someone to do errands for you. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
You can’t do it all, so finding shortcuts or getting help can help take some of the stress off your plate. How can you find a few extra hours? Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
 

Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

 
 

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Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support
Caregiving

Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Is Your Aging Parent Struggling?

 
Whether you live near your aging parents or live across the country, it can be hard to see changes in their health or well-being. Sometimes, health and cognitive changes are gradual, making it hard to notice. Or, in many cases, we just see our parents as our parents and don’t notice a decline until something major happens. Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support
It can be especially hard for local family members to see gradual changes. Similar to noticing gradual weight loss in someone you see regularly, you may not catch that your parent has lost interest in activities or that they seem to more and more forgetful. Sometimes, it takes an extended visit from a long-distance family member to catch these changes.
I worked with many families who had both long-distance and local siblings. It was always interesting to see how much more the long-distance siblings noticed, since they had more time between visits so changes to health and wellbeing seemed more drastic, rather than gradual. Many times, I noticed issues that local family members didn’t see since they weren’t looking for signs of illness or decline.
I had a client who had two daughters who were not on the same page about his well-being. The local sister saw nothing wrong with her father’s balance and gait because he had been walking like that for some time. The sister who visits a few times a year from Spain was shocked by how much her father had declined and insisted on a life alert system and that his driving service walk him to his apartment, rather than leave him in the garage, which was his preference. My staff and I knew that he struggled and had brought it up to the local daughter but she dismissed us, until her sister expressed the same concern.

Signs Your Aging Parent is Struggling

Here are some changes you should keep an eye out for, whether you live nearby or across the country.

  1. Depression: While depression can be common in older adults, there are ways to combat depression. If you notice slight changes such as a loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed or feelings of guilt, consider addressing these concerns with your parent or their physician.
  1. Increase in Falls: Is your aging parent falling more frequently? If you’ve already addressed fall risks in the home, it could be due to a medical condition or their medication. Speak with their doctor and consider fall prevention aides.
  1. Loneliness: Has your parent recently lost a close friend, moved away from their neighborhood or stopped driving? They could be lonely, which can lead to physical and emotional health problems.
  1. Unsafe Driving: Are you noticing new dings or dents on your parents’ car? Are they anxious about getting behind the wheel? Do they have limited mobility or hearing loss? These could be signs that they need to turn over the keys. Help them understand the dangers of unsafe driving and find solutions to keep them independent and active.
  1. Elder Abuse: Is there someone who is getting abnormally close to your loved one or who is trying to keep family members away from your parent? They may be committing elder abuse. Trust your gut and get informed. Elder abuse isn’t just physical abuse.
  1. Malnutrition: Did you know that many seniors suffer from malnutrition? Help your parents remain proper nutrition by stocking them up with easy healthy snacks and ensuring healthy meals are accessible to them.
  1. Alzheimer’s Disease: Are you noticing your parent isn’t just forgetting little details, but significant facts such as how to get home from the grocery store or trouble following simple directions? There is a difference between general cognitive decline and dementia. Don’t ignore the signs. Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

Don’t dismiss changes to health and well-being. With some tweaks or discussions with a doctor, they can probably be rectified, but if you let something like malnutrition or financial fraud go on for too long, it can have a catastrophic effect.

Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support
Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

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What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled
Caregiving

What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

As the population of Americans over the age of 85 grows dramatically, so too has the need for home caregivers. By the year 2026, demand for home caregivers will grow by another million. This is an alarming prediction, because there is already a serious shortage, which is making it very difficult for seniors and people with disabilities to find the assistance they need. Many overall healthy people have resorted to living in nursing homes and other institutions simply so that they can receive basic help with daily tasks. What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

Causes of the Home Caregiver Shortage

Although it is a quickly growing profession, there are still not nearly enough people interested in working as caregivers in order to keep up with the demand. Caretaking jobs tend not to pay very well; currently, the average home caregiver is paid only $10.99/hour. This is similar to what employees in retail or food service earn. Additionally, caregivers often have inconsistent schedules, part-time work only, poor benefits, and few opportunities for advancement (1).
Moreover, the job comes with a lot of responsibility, and mistakes can result in serious injury, police investigations, and other issues.
Strict immigration policies may also affect the caregiver shortage, as roughly one quarter of caretakers are immigrants.
With all of these factors combined, it is not exactly shocking that home care agencies experience an annual turnover rate of 60% (1).

Impact of Caregiver Shortage on Individuals and Families

The Columbus Dispatch recently interviewed a woman named Kenna Robinett, who is the guardian for her twin nephews, who are both on the autism spectrum. She was able to find home caregivers for her nephews, but they were far from reliable. The caregivers served her nephews frozen hot pockets (unheated), microwaved bread sticks until they were burnt to a crisp, and stored ice cream in a cabinet drawer. On one occasion, the boys’ school called because one of them had arrived with feces on his hands. Another day, Robinett received a message saying that there would be no one available to care for her nephews as of 3p.m. that same day, because the agency was shutting down.
In addition to causing the inconvenience of rapidly finding a replacement, caregiver turnover can be emotionally traumatic. “This is deeply personal, intimate care,” Patty Lyons told The Columbus Dispatch, discussing her 15-year-old daughter, who has several disabilities and health conditions. “She has a G-tube (which delivers food to the stomach), takes 13 different medications. Essentially, she’s nonverbal. She has to be left alone with a provider while I’m at work.”
Lyons’ daughter, Adriana, previously had a private-duty nurse. Then Medicaid policies changed and she was declared ineligible for nursing services, under the assumption that a less expensive care provider could meet her requirements. However, it took Lyons months to find someone who could appropriately care for Adriana(2).

Caregiver Shortage Causes Unnecessary Institutionalization

Although staying in an assisted living center or nursing home is a viable option for some, seniors increasingly prefer to age at home (3). For those with the financial means, this can work very well; 102 year old Leroy Neuberg told the Radio program Bostonomixthat he credits his longevity to his dedicated and qualified home caregiver (4). However, many seniors who are healthy enough to live at home with some assistance are unable to do so due to the lack of available caregivers. People with disabilities have the same issue –even those who are very young.
25-year-old Korrie Johnson has cerebral palsy and limited mobility, but is overall healthy and mentally fit. Her mother used to help her with daily tasks, but is now unable to do so because she was injured in a serious car crash. Johnson had no other choice but to move into a nursing home in order to receive basic assistance.
“This is no place for someone my age,” she told the Star Tribune. Most of the other residents have dementia and other debilitating conditions.
Johnson is far from the only disabled person living in an institution and wishing to be free. In her home state of Minnesota, approximately 1,500 people under age 65 live in nursing homes. With a bit of help, many of them would likely be able to live at home and lead productive lives.

Solving the Home Caregiver Crisis

Advocates argue that unnecessary institutionalization, such as what Johnson is experiencing, violates civil rights. The Supreme Court “Olmstead” ruling (1999) mandates that states provide their residents with care in the most integrated environment possible.
Even from an economic perspective, home care makes sense. It tends to cost taxpayers less than nursing home care (5).
A critical component of fixing the caregiver shortage is making home caretaking a better profession. Worker cooperatives may help improve conditions for home caregivers, as well as provide training opportunities. Additionally, changes to Medicaid rules could provide caregivers with increased pay and benefits, more stability, and room for advancement (1).
As a society, we must recognize the importance of this profession, and treat home caregivers with the respect they deserve.
Sources

  1. Forbes– The Shortage of Home Care Workers: Worse Than You Think
  2. The Columbus Dispatch– Crisis in care: Lack of quality caregivers, constant turnover tough on disabled, families
  3. The Chicago Tribune– ‘Crisis mode’: As boomers age, a shortage of caregivers
  4. Bostonomix– Demand For Senior Home Care Grows, But Its Pay Remains Low
  5. Star Tribune– Shortage of home health workers forcing young Minnesotans with disabilities into institutions

This guest blog post was contributed by Reiter & Walsh ABC Law Centers.

What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

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How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves
Caregiving

How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

When your mom or dad starts to struggle with day-to-day activities, you may find yourself acting as a family caregiver. Caregiving is no small responsibility, and from the outside, most people understand that it’s a lot to handle. But when someone we love requires care, it’s easy to lose perspective and assume we’re the exception to the rule. No matter what happens, we tell ourselves, we can handle it. How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves
But caregiving often demands superhuman levels of energy, patience, and positivity. Expecting yourself to withstand these demand, and to provide high-quality care, is a shortcut to failure.
In overestimating our abilities as family caregivers, we endanger not only our own well-being, but also the well-being of our loved ones. Decades of research have highlighted the health risks faced by family caregivers, who experience high rates of physical, mental, and emotional health concerns. By compromising their own health, family caregivers also compromise the quality of care they provide. When this happens, caregiving can have a counterintuitive effect: worsening, rather than improving, quality of life.
Needless to say, if you’re taking on family caregiver duties for the first time, it’s important that you don’t overestimate your own abilities. Here are a few tips on how to prevent this from happening.

How Family Caregivers Can Avoid Unrealistic Workloads

Start Out Small. Whenever possible, family caregivers should start caregiving early. Instead of waiting for your loved one to start showing signs of severe decline, start lending a hand with small, routine tasks like running errands and dishwashing.
Starting early offers benefits for both you and your loved one. By starting out with smaller caregiving responsibilities, you can will reduce the risk of early burnout, develop caregiving skills and routines gradually. This method also lowers the risk that the care recipient will start receiving support too late, when decline has already compromised their health and well-being.
Build Caregiving Skills. Some people carry a mistaken assumption that caregiving is unskilled labor. Ask anyone who’s actually provided care — as a family caregiver or as a caregiving professional — and you’ll hear otherwise. The best caregivers have spent years refining their caregiving toolkits, which include a mix of hands-on talents and emotional skills.
By building up your own set of caregiving skills, you can reduce the risk of becoming overwhelmed. Make a conscious effort to become more effective and efficient at routine caregiving tasks and seek out caregiver resources that can help you become a better caregiver. When you feel more comfortable and capable as a family caregiver, you can start to take on additional roles and responsibilities.
Plan for Self-Care. Self-care is important for everyone, but it’s critical for those of us performing stressful, highly demanding work. Caregiving exacts a toll on your physical, mental, and emotional health. If you ignore this, you’ll make every aspect of your life more difficult, including caregiving. This makes caregiver all the more taxing on your physical, mental, and emotional health, creating a dangerous feedback loop.
So when you’re starting out as a family caregiver, make sure that you’re setting aside time for self-care activities. Many family caregivers are quick to sacrifice personal time when they start providing care to a loved one. In many cases, it never occurs to them that they need time for self-care. By steering clear of this mistake, you’ll avoid the number one cause of caregiver burnout.
Set Realistic Goals. When you’re volunteering to act as a family member’s caregiver, it’s important that you set realistic goals. Typically, this means a conservative approach to goal-setting. Start with what you think you’re capable of, then cut those expectations by 25% to 50%.
Most people substantially overestimate themselves when they start a new role. That tendency is made worse when you’re caring for someone you love. But just because you want to do it all for your mom or dad, that doesn’t mean you can. Remember that, as a family caregiver, it’s easier to expand your role than to shrink it.
Ask for Support. One of the best ways to avoid becoming overwhelmed is to ask for outside help. Other members of your family might be unable to provide as much support as you can, but that doesn’t mean they can’t provide any support at all. Make sure to get family and friends involved in caregiving early.
If family and friends are unable to lend support, professionalrespite care servicescan help. A trusted home care agency will connect you with professional caregivers who can provide caregiving assistance, relieving the burden placed on family caregivers.
Overwhelmed by caregiving duties? Learn more about respite care services from Visiting Angels®by calling us today at 800-365-4189 or by contacting your local office.

How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves

How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves
 

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