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Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In
Aging

Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

In surveys, the overwhelming majority of seniors express a preference for aging in place. But as we grow older, physical and/or cognitive decline can make aging in place difficult. Support from family caregivers and professional elder care services can reduce those difficulties. But if decline becomes severe, you might need to consider alternatives, like having your parent come live with you. Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In
Having a parent move in with your family can make it easier to tend to their elder care needs and improve their overall quality of life. But it can also lead to issues with personal boundaries. In caregiving relationships, boundaries are key to quality care and healthy family dynamics, so it’s important that firm boundaries are set and respected. Here are five tips on how to make this happen.

1. Create an Elder Care Routine

Caring for an elderly loved one can wreak havoc on your schedule. That’s true when your mom or dad lives separate from you and your family, but it’s an even bigger issue when you’re living in the same space. Without a regular routine in place, caregiving responsibilities can start to dominate your life. If you’re always “on call” for when your loved one needs assistance, or if you’re performing a bunch of small jobs throughout the day, it can start to feel like you never have time to yourself.
To avoid this, develop an elder care routine that allows you to set aside time for yourself. Set firm boundaries regarding your “off hours” and when it’s appropriate for your loved one to ask for assistance outside of their elder care routine.

2. Plan for Personal Space

When your mom or dad moves home for elder care, boundaries around personal space can become as much of an issue as boundaries around personal time. A new family member will dramatically alter the way your home functions. If you haven’t planned for this change, it could create points of friction between you and your loved one and between your loved one and other members of your family.
If you have the square footage to do so, make sure that your loved one not only has their own bedroom, but also their own living space. Usually, this means a comfortable chair, their own TV, and any other items that they enjoy using on a regular basis. This way, you can steer clear of family disputes or resentments over use of common space.

3. Communicate Clearly

Boundaries can’t be respected if they aren’t clearly stated in the first place. That’s something many family elder care providers learn the hard way. Nobody wants to lay down the law with a parent, especially when mom or dad is suffering from poor health. As a result, many family caregivers stay silent — even as they notice personal boundaries erode and collapse.
While keeping quiet can help you avoid short-term awkwardness and discomfort, it will do you no favors in the long run. Failure to set and clearly communicate boundaries will quickly lead to resentment and can result in family caregivers overextending themselves. Relationships break down, caregivers deteriorate, and the quality of elder care suffers.

4. Respect Your Own Boundaries

Most family caregivers worry about whether or not their loved one will respect their personal boundaries around elder care. But when it comes to respecting boundaries, there’s someone else you need to worry about: yourself.
Family elder care providers are notoriously bad at respecting their own self-stated boundaries. No matter how overwhelmed they become, they feel compelled to sacrifice their personal time and privacy at a moment’s notice.
The result, more often than not, is a downward spiral. Family elder care providers develop severe caregiver stress. Their personal well-being suffers, as does the quality of care they provide. Low-quality care causes their loved one’s well-being to suffer, exacerbating their need for elder care, and the cycle continues.

5. Find Elder Care Support

Far too many family caregivers are their loved one’s only source of elder care. In these cases, it’s almost impossible to maintain personal boundaries, especially as your loved one’s care needs increase. To prevent this, try to get other members of your family involved with caregiving. If elder care responsibilities start to encroach on your personal time and privacy, you’ll have other caregivers who can help shoulder the burden of care.
If family members are unavailable — or unwilling — to lend a helping hand, professional elder care services may be a better option. Many elder care agencies provide respite care on a part-time basis, which allows family caregivers to maintain healthy lives away from care. By hiring an elder care agency, you can ensure scheduled private time on a daily or weekly basis: one of the best ways to ensure your boundaries are respected.
If caregiving is making it hard to maintain personal boundaries and privacy? Your local Visiting Angels® can help. Call 800-365-4189 today or find your local Visiting Angels office to learn more about elder care services in your area.
Finding a Home for Grandma and Grandpa

Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In

Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In
 
 

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The Complicated Relationship Between Alcohol & Dementia Care
Caregiving

Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

The decision to move your mom or dad into a care facility is never easy. But this decision gets especially tough when it forces your parents to live apart from one another. This situation is more common than many people realize. Spouses rarely age at the same rate, and many elderly couples are forced apart when one of them requires a high level of care due to physical or cognitive decline. Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care
Separating elderly couples can have terrible consequences. The loss of a long-term spouse is linked with mental health concerns, increased risk of poor physical health, and a lower average lifespan. While separation is sometimes impossible to stop, it is almost always better to keep elderly couples together when possible.
That’s where home care services come into play. Home care services allow many elderly couples to age in place together, even when one spouse develops serious physical or cognitive health concerns. Certain home care providers can even keep elderly couples together when both spouses require different types of care services.
But keeping elderly couples together with home care services isn’t always simple or easy. Sometimes, it requires detailed planning in advance. It could also mean being more selective when choosing a care agency for your parents. Additionally, you may need to start home care services early in order to keep mom and dad together for as long as possible.
While that can be tricky, it’s not impossible. So, if you’re concerned about how you’ll help your parents age in place together, here are some of the things you’ll need to think about.

Plan Ahead and Start Home Care Early

The earlier you begin planning for home care, the easier it will be to keep your parents together and allow them to age in place. Many families avoid discussing care until the last minute, leaving them with few options for care and even less time to choose. By planning for care in advance, you can get ahead of worst-case scenarios and extend the time your parents spend in one another’s company.
One of the smartest steps you can take is to get started with home care early. Most people assume that caregivers help seniors age in place only by helping out after physical or cognitive decline has taken place. This isn’t true. In fact, caregivers can help stave off decline before it occurs. By providing in-home assistance, home care can delay the difficulties that lead seniors to nursing care in the first place.
Many people worry about the costs of professional home care. But care costs are substantially lower early on. Instead of waiting for your mom or dad to become overwhelmed caring for their spouse, you can hire a caregiver for a few hours a week. The caregiver can handle the toughest aspects of care, while your other parent can perform the care tasks that are easier to handle. This way, you keep care costs low, maintain quality of life for one parent, and prevent your other parent from becoming overwhelmed.
Even if you don’t get started with home care immediately, planning ahead offers other benefits. You’ll be able to plan ahead financially, giving you a better sense of what will be best and most realistic. You’ll also get the chance to research local home care providers, so that you have a better idea of your parents’ options for care.

Home Care for Elderly Couples

Another reason home care services are popular with elderly couples is flexibility and customization. Nursing homes and assisted living facilities typically focus on a certain level of care, or offer a limited number of specialty services. If both of your parents require senior care, but each parent has unique care concerns, they may struggle to find a care facility that can meet both of their needs.
On the other hand, many home care agencies are experienced in providing care for couples — even if spouses have different care needs. Many agencies offer a range of specialty care services, with flexible scheduling and service plans. So, if one of your parents requires personal care due to limited mobility, and the other needs home dementia care for Alzheimer’s, a high-quality home care agency can accommodate both parents’ care needs.
Similarly, a caregiver who you originally hired to care for one parent could eventually care for both your mom and your dad. While many elderly adults are hesitant to request home care services, it is easier for them to get started with care when a professional caregiver is already in their home. An experienced caregiver can also spot signs of decline. So even if your mom or dad believes themselves to be in good health, you’ll have someone there to let you know when they need help.
Wondering where you’ll find high-quality home care services suitable for your mom and dad? We suggest starting your search with your local Visiting Angels. Our home care providers frequently work with couples, helping families keep mom and dad together in the home they love. Call 800-365-4189 today or contact your local Visiting Angels office to learn more.

Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care

Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care Keeping Elderly Couples Together with Home Care

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Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents
Money Tips

Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

Estate planning structures current and projected assets for future allocation and disposal. It eliminates the uncertainties over probate and maximizes the value of a families’ or individual’s estate. Having one helps reduce taxes and other expenses. Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents
The estate covers all the things a person owns – a car, home, another real estate, checking and savings accounts, investments, life insurance, furniture, personal possessions, even pets.
Estate planning includes a will, trusts, beneficiary names, powers of appointment, a person writing the will selects a person (agent) to distribute the property under the will. An estate plan also includes several components: Will, Medical Power of Attorney, Financial Power of Attorney, and Advanced Healthcare Directives.
The POA documents allow an individual to decide in advance whom they trust and want to act on their behalf if they become incapable of making decisions. The selected person to act on behalf of the individual is the agent. Next, a person must distinguish between a medical and financial POA.
A medical POA is a legal form and called a health care directive or health care proxy that oversees your wishes for health care. It gives a trustworthy friend or family member (the agent) the ability to make decisions about the care the individual receives if one becomes incapacitated.
A financial POA is a legal form that gives the assigned agent the authority to handle financial transactions on an individual’s behalf. It is common to appoint one person to act as an agent for both financial and healthcare decisions, but in some cases, separate the two.
A health care agent decides:

  • What medical care the individual receives at the hospital, the surgery, medical treatment, home health care, etc.
  • The choice of doctors and care providers.
  • The location where the individual lives regarding residential long-term care. However, the individual must be able to afford these arrangements and the financial POA must approve these costs.
  • What food and nourishment the individual eats.
  • Who tends to activities of daily living.

A financial agent acts on the individual’s behalf:

  • Has access to the financial accounts and pays housing, care costs, and bills.
  • Files taxes.
  • Makes investment decisions.
  • Collects debts, manage property, applies for public benefits such as Medicaid, etc.

What the agent cannot do:

  • Change the will.
  • Break the fiduciary duty to act in the best interest.
  • Make decisions on behalf of the principal after their death.
  • Transfer POA responsibilities, but the agent has the right to decline their appointment at any time.

Carol Marak, aging advocate, Seniorcare.com. She’s earned a Certificate in the Fundamentals of Gerontology from UC Davis, School of Gerontology.

Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents

Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents

Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents Power & Limitations of Power of Attorney Documents

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How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care?
Caregiving

How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care?

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

Assisted Care, Not Insisted Care: Where Do You Draw the Line When It Comes to Proper Care?

Elder abuse has become an unfortunate reality for our aging population. News stories of seniors becoming the victims of abuse or neglect are all too common these days. According to a recent study conducted by the Nursing Home Abuse Center, it is estimated that between one and two million Americans, age 65 and older have been mistreated, exploited or injured by a caregiver. Unfortunately, seniors become targets of abuse because they may not have a real voice or understand what is happening around them. You can prevent your aging family from being abused by following these tips. How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care?

Be Proactive

If you’re aging family member is placed in an assisted living or nursing home, the first step to take to prevent abuse is to be proactive by checking on your loved one regularly. Regularly visiting the nursing home can help you to spot red flags and address any issues before they become a problem. Frequent visits will also show the staff that you will be observing their activities, which can help to decrease the overall occurrence of abuse.

Encourage them to Talk to You

If your elderly family member is being abused, they may be embarrassed or unsure what to do if about the situation. This is why it is so important to keep the lines of communication open, so they will feel more comfortable talking to you about potential issues. If they do ever express concern, talk to them seriously and investigate accordingly. Unfortunately, all too often, we dismiss their complaints as being nonsense or untruthful, which can lead to the abuse continuing.

Keep an Eye out for Warning Signs

According to National Center on Elder Abuse neglect is the most common form of elder abuse, followed by physical abuse. If you notice any of the following physical or emotional issues, it may be a sign that your loved one is being abused.

  • Sudden weight loss
  • Withdrawn behavior
  • Unexplained changes in mood or behavior
  • Bedsores
  • Dehydration
  • Malnutrition
  • Unsanitary conditions
  • Unexplained bruises or cuts

If you notice any of these signs, it is crucial that you address it immediately.

Immediately Report Abuse and Neglect

If you believe that your loved one isn’t receiving the care they need and deserve, it is imperative to report it immediately. The sooner you report it, the sooner you can begin to make the appropriate changes to protect your loved ones. If you feel like your loved one might be in danger, don’t hesitate to call 911 and report the abuse immediately. If you uncover abuse or neglect, you may want to seek legal help with abuse in assisted care facilities to discuss your legal options.
If you suspect the nursing home or assisted living facility where you’re loved one life is abusing or neglecting them, it is up to you to stop it. Always be vigilant and take concerns seriously. Elder abuse has become a real issue, and you have the power to stop it and prevent it from happening to anyone else.

How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care?

How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care? How do you spot Elder Abuse in Assisted Care?

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Caregiving

Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

In their role of caring for the elderly, caregivers must strike a tricky balance. On the one hand, they often enjoy unparalleled access to a client’s private information. On the other, if they are to be effective (not to mention ethical) in the job of caring for their client’s therapeutic needs, they must maintain clear professional boundaries with the client and family members. Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families
Needless to say, it’s not always immediately obvious what constitutes crossing the line in a professional helping relationship with a client and their family. Here are some questions caregivers can ask themselves in order to delineate appropriate personal boundaries in these more ambiguous situations:
Am I over-helping or under-helping in this situation? An example of “over-helping” would be taking on a role or duties that ordinarily would be reserved for a partner or family member, such as helping a client balance their checkbook, giving or receiving special gifts, or (maybe most blatantly) getting romantically involved.
Signs that you may be over-helping—what we in the addiction treatment world often refer to as “codependency”—include: visiting the client when you are off-duty, spending inordinate amounts of time with the client, using family nicknames with the client, a growing self-perception that you are the only person who can help the client, and confusing the needs and feelings of the client with your own. (The latter can happen if you begin to project your emotional needs onto the client, assuming that what you are feeling may be what they also need, or become so invested in their welfare that your own health suffers.)
“Under-helping” manifests itself as neglect of the client’s therapeutic needs. One example might be keeping a personal secret with the client that compromises their health and welfare.
Am I serving the client’s therapeutic needs and interests, or are my actions more about taking care of my own personal needs? Your No. 1 professional obligation as a caregiver is to ensure the client’s therapeutic needs are being met. One good litmus test for any situation is therefore to ask yourself whether you are in fact prioritizing this job duty—or, whether your own need to receive love or care for your emotional needs is actually motivating your actions.
Am I soliciting extraneous private information from a client and their family, or am I sharing extraneous private information about myself with a client and their family? What you choose to talk about can also border on inappropriate boundary-crossing. Invasive questions about a client’s private life, answers to which have nothing to do with the client’s medical care, are inappropriate—but “TMI” (Too Much Information) is a two-way street, meaning that what you share with a client and their family can also fall into this category of extraneous private information.
If, based on your answers to these questions, you believe that you may have crossed a boundary (or may be at risk of doing so), talking to your supervisor or a trusted colleague about the issue may be a wise precaution. They may also help advise you about whether reassignment to another client is necessary. In some cases, it may be appropriate to discuss your concerns with the client and/or family members, so that they can be made aware of the importance of personal boundaries.
By Anna Ciulla
Anna Ciulla is the Vice President of Clinical and Medical Services at Beach House Center for Recovery where she is responsible for designing, implementing and supervising the delivery of the latest evidence-based therapies for treating substance use disorders. Anna has a passion for helping clients with substance use and co-occurring disorders achieve successful long-term recovery.
Link Between Immobility and Substance Abuse

Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families

Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families Privacy Issues: Personal Boundaries Between Caregivers and Families

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Is dementia reversible or curable?
Conditions & Treatments

Is dementia reversible or curable?

by Silverado
written by Silverado

It’s rare to find a life that has not been touched by dementia in some way. But for as prevalent a problem dementia is in our society, general public knowledge about the condition is surprisingly thin. When it comes to caring for those with dementia, knowledge is key. Is dementia reversible or curable?

It’s rare to find a life that has not been touched by dementia in some way. But for as prevalent a problem dementia is in our society, general public knowledge about the condition is surprisingly thin. When it comes to caring for those with dementia, knowledge is key. Is dementia reversible or curable?
Each Silverado memory care community has its own dedicated physician medical director with a background in caring for those with dementia, and every year they gather for a symposium to discuss the latest on advances and care techniques. In the video above Silverado Oak Village medical director Dr. Richard London explains the progressive nature of dementia and efforts to undo its effects.
For more videos of physicians discussing common dementia questions, please visit silveradocare.com/MDVideos.

Is dementia reversible or curable?

 

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What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?
Caregiving

What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?

by Steve Black
written by Steve Black

Have you heard of Care.com, but not entirely sure what it’s all about? We know that people like to know as much as possible about a service before they decide to start using it, so in this article, we’ll let you in on the details of Care.com, what it is, how it works, and more. What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?

So, what exactly is It?

Care.com is a site that helps people find caregivers for family members, homes, or pets. People can post jobs outlining the type of caregiver they need and some details about the requirements of the job, and caregivers can apply for them. They will help you find the right caregiver for your needs.
What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?

How safe is Care.com?

Care.com is safe to use. When you post a job to find a caregiver for your family member, home, or pet, you’ll be able to review applicant resumes, references, and request background checks to see if they’re someone you can trust. This will help you ensure that your loved ones will be in good hands.
They also offer safety tips on their website to assist you in choosing the right caregiver.

How does Care.com work?

If you’re looking to hire someone to care for your family member, home, or pet, you can post a job on Care.com. Caregivers can then apply for the job, and then you get to review their application. You can request a background check to ensure you can trust them, and hire the person you like best.
You can read more about how Care.com works if you look at their website here.
What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?

How much can Care.com cost?

Care.com has two different membership options. The “Basic Profile” option is free to sign up for and offers all the basic features of the site. The “Featured Profile” offers additional features that the Basic account does not. You can choose to use the free option, or upgrade to the paid membership.
If you’d like to learn more, check out our article about the cost of Care.com.

History of Care.com

The service has been around since 2007. Their site was launched to help people find babysitters, tutors, pet care, and caregivers for the elderly. Now, the site also helps users with finding housekeepers, gardeners, and care for those with special needs. Care.com has over 22 million users across 19 different countries.

The pros and cons of Care.com

Some great things about Care.com are that it:

  • Allows people to find caregivers to suit their needs
  • Allows you to request background checks for potential caregivers before hiring them to ensure they’re someone you can trust
  • Allows caregivers looking for work, there are lots of different kinds of jobs you can find and apply for

On the other hand, there are a couple of downsides to Care.com:

  • If you’re a caregiver, you must have a paid membership in order to apply for caregiving jobs you find
  • If you’re someone looking to hire a caregiver, you may not get a large number of applicants since caregivers have to pay to apply to jobs

Care.com alternatives

If you don’t think Care.com is the right place for you to find a caregiver, or find a caregiving job, don’t worry – there are other options. If you’re looking to hire a babysitter, Sittercity.com might be a good option for you. Looking for someone to care for your pet? Check out DogVacay! You can even find someone to look after your home through TrustedHousesitters.com.
Learn about these alternatives and more by checking out this article.
That’s it for our introduction to Care.com. Be sure to read the rest of the articles in our free course to learn more about the service and how to use it. In our next article, we’ll cover more information about how safe it is. If you’re ready to get started now, check out our tutorial on how to join Care.com.

What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?

What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver? What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver? What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver? What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver? What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?What is Care.com and How Safe Is It to Find a Caregiver?

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Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver
Caregiving

Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

Caregiving is not an easy job. It’s mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. With that exhaustion comes a lot of feelings – feelings of anger and resentment in some cases. Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver

Where the Anger and Resentment Comes From

Anger and resentment can come from many causes. For some people, it’s because they feel their parents did not care for them well enough as children. They feel as though they are doing a better job as a caregiver to their parents than they did as parents. This loss they feel turns into anger and resentment because they feel as though their parents don’t deserve the care they are receiving from them.
Some caregivers are angry and resentful because they believe their parents have caused the situation they are in at the moment. For example, their parents may not have any money, which makes caring for them expensive for the caregiver. Or the parents may have done something unhealthy such as smoked for 30 years, and now they need special care due to those effects. Many caregivers feel as though it’s not fair their parents have had fun throughout life or put themselves in dangerous situations, and now the consequences end up lying on the adult children.
Another cause of anger doesn’t have anything to do with what the parents did – it’s towards the disease or illness they are suffering from at the end of their life. Those with parents suffering from Alzheimer’s disease are often upset. The disease can make it seem as though a person has left his/her body. This is heartbreaking to a caregiver, and a caregiver often deals with the stages of grieving even before his/her parent has died.

How to Deal with Caregiver Anger and Resentment

#1: Change Your Perspective

It can be easy to place blame on your parents or the disease they are dealing with because it’s an outside source for your pain. Consider not doing that and instead think about how good of a person you are for doing everything you are doing. Bring it inside and realize you are a strong person for doing everything you’re doing, despite how unfair it may be for you.

#2: Take a Break

Often times, feelings of anger and resentment intensify was you do more and more each day. Take a break away from caregiving. Find some help from friends and family members to ensure your parents are taken care of, and also use them for support. It can be good to get away from it all, so you can calm the fire burning inside of you.

#3: Treat Yourself

You do a lot for your parents, so you probably don’t do as much for yourself. Take time to treat yourself the way you are treating your parents. You deserve to be rewarded for all you do, and if someone isn’t rewarding you for it, you must do it yourself.

#4: Meditate to Let It Go

Anger and resentment can imprison you. Don’t allow that to happen. The most freeing thing you can do for yourself is to let it all go. Take some time each day to close your eyes, breathe in and out a few times, and allow yourself to just release the anger and resentment inside of you.

#5: Seek Help from a Personal Consultant

It can be difficult to deal with caregiver anger and resentment on your own. You need help to cope with these feelings. Holding onto them is not fair to you or your family.

Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver

Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver Dealing with Anger as a CaregiverDealing with Anger as a Caregiver Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver Dealing with Anger as a Caregiver
 

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Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One
Caregiving

Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak
When planning a loved one’s care, the best advice to receive is “prepare in advance” long before you need help. By waiting to the last-minute, it could put you and the loved one at risk of stress and potentially, not finding the best care. Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One
Today, close to 50 million people provide assistance for the aged, chronically ill or physically disabled family members, according to the National Association of Family Caregivers. I recommend hiring a geriatric care manager because they’re trained to assess, plan, coordinate, monitor and provide services in caring and assistance. They can help you find in-home support and housing options, and facilitate the care plan. Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One
However, if your loved one is not at a point requiring extensive help, there are other ways to prepare, start with a list of people who can offer encouragement and reinforcement. There are many resources to draw on and here’s a modest list to use to get started.

  • Find a support community — network with other caregivers. You can find support groups at local faith-based communities. The members offer valuable advice since they live with the day-to-day tasks. And connecting with others in the similar situation gives you peace of mind and comfort knowing you can count on their experience.
  • Organize legal documents — select a trusted relative, friend, or professional as the power of attorney and the health care proxy. The individual will make the decisions regarding the health and finances if a loved one becomes incapacitated. Before assigning someone to speak on a person’s behalf, make sure they understand the person’s wishes for the future. Hire an elder law attorney to review or carry out the documents, they make things easier and help those involved gain clarity about desired actions.
  • Keep a list of contacts — keep an address book with contact names and numbers of service providers including bank, lawyer, pharmacist, physician, hairdresser, yardman and others who help. Add neighbors, church connections, friends, and family. Don’t rely on memory for details.
  • Add local resources — religious and faith-based groups are reliable support, but if one doesn’t have close connections there or is not spiritually inclined, then seek out other agencies. Consider local, hands-on, with all-age members such as Meals-on-Wheels and the Area Agency on Aging.
  • Obtain a home safety assessment — have the home assessed for safety to determine whether the loved one will be safe and secure living in it. The plan will recommend immediate, short-term and long-term solutions. It will check for proper lighting and items that obstruct mobility. You’ll gain helpful insights and resources from the professional doing the safety audit.
  • Start discussions with relatives and siblings — have care conversations with the family and make a plan and consider the special interests and natural talents each person possesses that relate with the care requirements. While some are not comfortable bathing and dressing a loved one, perhaps they can cook, clean, and run errands.
    Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One
    Local Non-Profits Providing Senior Care HelpOrganizing Care for an Aging Loved One Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One
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