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Dealing with Narcissistic Older Parent
Life Lessons

Dealing with Narcissistic Older Parent

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

We don’t choose who are parents are, and for some of us, we end up with parents who didn’t exactly show us the love, support, and compassion we deserved growing up. As they grow older, those parents can come back and want to be helped. As much as you may not want to help them, you know you should. So what do you do? Do you just stay quiet and do what you feel you need to do? Or do you turn around and walk the other way? Dealing with Narcissistic Older Parent
Well, the decision is yours to make, and one decision doesn’t mean you can’t make a decision later.
With caregiving, there is a fair amount of guilt and resentment that builds – even for parents who are not narcissistic. It’s a lot of work taking care of another human being who is an adult and often times stuck in his/her ways. There are days you will be exhausted, frustrated, and utterly burned out. Dealing with Narcissistic Older Parent
Let’s not forget there are benefits to caregiving too. These benefits are what you probably are holding onto right now as you are considering taking care of your parents. Dealing with Narcissistic Older Parent
Let’s put it out there and say that you probably want a good relationship with your parent. You haven’t received what you’ve wanted yet, but you’re hoping that someday you will. A part of you thinks that if you do this, you will receive that love, support, and comfort that you never got in the first place.
One of the biggest mistakes people make with caregiving is having expectations. When people have expectations, they usually end up disappointed. Usually…..not always.
This is why sometimes, it’s okay to try the caregiving for a little while. If you find you are not getting what you need to continue providing care without harming yourself and your personal life, you can always make other arrangements.

When You Have No Choice

Some people feel as though they have no choice but to provide caregiving services to their older parent. They may not have money to pay for services, or they feel way too guilty not to do it themselves. What do these people do in this case?

  • Treat it as a job. Just as you are not happy with your job all of the time, do what you need to do, and keep moving. The more emotionally invested you are in it, the worse it will feel. Just do, and try not to feel.
  • Ask for help from friends and family. Try not to take all of the care yourself. It’s too much for one person, and you will get through this time in your life much easier if you have help. Reach out and take the help people offer.
  • Talk to friends and family about how you feel. As much as you try not to feel, you will likely end up feeling some way. It’s best to vent it to get it out of your way. As you become accustomed to caring for your parent, it will be easier for you to let it go on your own.
  • Reach out to a personal consultant. A personal consultant is just like a friend or family member. You can call him on the phone, talk about everything to get it all out and even problem solve your situation. After a session, you’ll feel as though you have a new perspective on life and caregiving. This can help you move forward with positivity.

Contact Kendall Van Blarcom today for a personal consulting session. He can help you with this situation, so you can feel better about what you are dealing with as you decide to or not to care for your older narcissistic parent.

Dealing with Narcissistic Older Parent

 

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Grandparents Sitting In Kitchen With Grandchildren Eating Breakfast Before Going To School
Life Lessons

Top 11 Things To Help Your Grandchildren

by Guest Blogger
written by Guest Blogger

As a grandparent, you surely love your grandchildren. They are the little wonders of your children. A grandparent interacts the most with his grandchildren when their parents are ill, traveling or struggling to overcome life pressures.

Grandparents help their children raise grandchildren. You often step in to help your grandchildren, whether it is with knowledge or material support. Your grandchildren are lucky to have you beside them, making them laugh, craft or write their assignments for school.

Your physical proximity to your grandchildren and the frequency of interactions enhance the relationship between you and them. But how can you increase the quality of these interactions? How can you better help without spoiling them? We have compiled a list of 11 things you can help your grandchildren with.

1. Financial Support

There are hard times in every family’s life, so there will be times when financial support is appreciated the most. No grandparent likes seeing his children and grandchildren suffering. Especially when you know that you can end that suffering by providing financial support.

But this scenario is tricky. You do not want your grandchildren to grow into spoiled adults that have everything they want. Instead, you want them to be humans with principles, that do not harm them by abusing substances nor the others.

So, how to manage these situations? Focus on analyzing the context of that specific situation. Support financially your grandchildren when it is really needed. But keep in mind that you can help them build their character by not satisfying every wish.

2. Be There

A grandparent can help in small ways with his grandchildren. You can pick them from school, assist them while doing homework and being there when they are sick.

By doing these small acts of love you will teach your grandchildren a great thing. That you are there, by their side, whenever they need. In times of hardships, but also in times of happiness. They will know that they can come to you whenever they need.

3. Share the Family History

Some might think that this will only bore their grandchildren. But you just have to find the right way to tell these stories to catch their attention. Grandparents have a very important role within the family. They connect their grandchildren with their heritage.

The technology is constantly evolving. The cities get bigger and bigger and new ways of transportation are invented. For sure your young years looked very different from today’s life. Share your family history and help your grandchildren connect with you. They will appreciate you more.

4. Respect Traditions

For sure the family has some traditions that you are especially fond of. These traditions give your family a strong identity. Respect and share them with your grandchildren.

This will give them the sense that they are part of a large family with a strong identity. Traditions will help them be more secure and better connect with you. Feeling lonely and unconnected can harm one’s mental health.

5. Teach Them Skills Untaught

Do not think about Math or Chemistry, although if you have knowledge in these domains you can help your grandchildren when they have school assignments. Think about those skills that are often forgotten nowadays.

Think about knitting the tie, sewing on a button or airing up bicycle tires. Parents often have a busy and stressful life, so grandparents are the best logical choice to pass on these skills.

You have grown up in less mechanized time, so you have more skills than your children to pass on. Not having the technology to rely on made you learn a lot of things. Help your grandchildren by sharing and teaching these practical skills.

6. Provide Unconditional Love

Grandparents are known for loving and adoring their grandchildren. Although parents are the first source of unconditional love, their love is often mixed with expectations and hopes. Their ego might get in the way sometimes. We are talking about the genuine unconditional love a grandparent provides its grandchildren with.

You already have experience raising your kids and you have learned something. That everyone has its good and bad moments. That everyone has hardships to overcome. That everyone can experience setbacks. That everyone might get demotivated, sad and hopeless from time to time. But having these moments does not mean that you will not succeed.

Family support and love can make a difference in these situations. And a strong relationship with his grandparents can make a child grow stronger and more confident.

7. Spend Time in Nature

Big city life can become overwhelming sometimes for your grandchildren. So why do not take them on an adventure? They will surely appreciate the peace and silence you can find in national parks. They will become more aware of their surroundings and the environment. Nature trips will only help them deeply connect with it. And we all know that the deeper the connection with nature, the higher level of happiness.

This is also a great way to teach them more about the history and geography of the parks or ancient cities you are visiting. And what better way to learn a little bit of history than by visiting the places where the action took place?

You can also opt for a weekend spent in the mountains. You can go hiking with your grandchildren and look for mushrooms. This way they will learn which are edible and not.

8. Play Games

There are a lot of old-fashioned games that are so much fun. Why do not play them with your grandchildren? You can choose from a lot of mind games like riddles and “river crossing” puzzles.

Choose games that incite and develop their way of thinking. If your grandchildren are big enough, you can teach them to play chess. Or, you can play cards with them.

9. Support Them with Homework Relevant Information

With their parents busy, a child can see its homework as being really difficult. This is the moment when you can help your grandchildren. Assist them when doing homework and explain all those complex concepts they are struggling with.

Grandparents have a lot of experience and have interacted with a lot of people during their life. They can adapt their way of communicating with the person they are talking to very easy. Schoolers often need help with their homework and grandparents can help them with all their experience and knowledge

10. Validate Their Feelings

One of the mistakes that parents do nowadays is invalidating their children’s feelings. Not being mature emotionally, children will often get upset by minor issues. They might lose their friends and cry. Or they might frustrate that someone took their toys at the kindergarten and cry.

Somehow people have come to think that if someone cries, it means that they are weak. Who had not heard the famous saying “Boys don’t cry”? Everyone. You, as a grandparent, know that crying is not a sign of weakness, but strength.

Validate your grandchildren’s feelings and teach them to accept what they are feeling and not repress their feelings. Support them in becoming functional adults.

11. Be Tolerant

When you have so much experience, it is easy to become a little bit rigid. You will see that your grandchildren are growing in a different world. The access to information is made easier than ever before. And every day there is a new item invented.

Do not critique them for their crazy ideas and do not forget that you also had your crazy period. Be tolerant and support them. This will help you strengthen the bond with your grandchildren.

Conclusion

Grandparents are an invaluable resource for every family. They commit to support their children and grandchildren at stressful times. As a grandparent, you can help your grandchildren by validating their feelings and being tolerant of their nascent ideas.

Through your life, you have gathered a lot of experience and knowledge. Put these resources to good use and share them with your grandchildren. How? By assisting them doing their homework, sharing the family history and traditions. You can also teach them skills untaught nowadays like sewing a button or knitting the tie.

Spend time in nature, provide unconditional love and play games. Financial support is appreciated in times of need, but be careful not to encourage dysfunctional behaviors.

by Eric H. Anderson

Eric H. Anderson is an editor and journalist at AustralianWritings. I like traveling and I have visited more than 100 countries around the world. You can find me Facebook and Linkedin

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Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving
Life Lessons

Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

Thanksgiving is a treasured holiday in the lives of most American families. Yet, because of the tendency to romanticize Thanksgiving Days gone by, we can set the bar of expectation so high that we’re bound to experience stress when the reality doesn’t match up to the expectation. Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving

Here are five tips on reducing the stress level of Thanksgiving Day:

1. Manage Your Traditions.

Thanksgiving family traditions are great, but if not managed, we can end up serving the tradition rather than the tradition serving us. So don’t make the location or menu items the heart of your traditions. Rather, focus on the traditions of the heart: the relationships you get to renew each Thanksgiving Day, the conversations, the laughter, and the love.

2. Acknowledge the Truth.

There is No “Perfect” Thanksgiving. Give up pursuing the dream of a perfect Thanksgiving. It doesn’t exist. Fortunately, perfection isn’t required for a “happy” Thanksgiving. When something goes awry, as it inevitably will, how you respond to the situation will determine your stress level.

3. Evaluate Your Expectations.

There’s nothing wrong with having expectations. Knowing what they are can help you adjust them to be more in line with reality. So, here are four questions: 1) What are you planning? 2) Why are you planning it? 3) Is it meaningful? 4) Is it reasonable to believe you can accomplish what you are planning?

4. Create Some Margin.

Hosting Thanksgiving at your home is no “holiday.” While it may be a labor of love, it’s still labor! The person or persons most responsible often get run ragged. Carve out some space for yourself by sharing responsibilities.

5. Don’t Take the Bait!

Most every family has at least one member who loves to stir the pot and push others’ buttons. And it seems that T-Day is often the pot-stirring, button-pushing high holy holiday. Expect that some snarky comment will be made. Let it go, or make light of it. These comments are almost always an exercise in fishing. Remember, the fish that gets hooked, is the fish that takes the bait. Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving

-HomeWord.com

Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving

Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving Five Tips for a Happier Thanksgiving

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Life Lessons

His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer's

by Silverado
written by Silverado

His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s is a real problem facing real people every day. If you or someone you know has faced it, you understand the emotional toll it takes. When we came across one couple’s journey, it touched us so deeply that we spent two full days capturing their love story to be shared with the world.
John and Kerry McNeely learned of Kerry’s Alzheimer’s in 2014, shortly after a trip to Europe. Soon after, John sought help for her at Silverado. At the memory care community, he was able join a family support group to openly discuss his experience. During one of those meetings, he put his thoughts on paper — words he didn’t realize at the time would touch more than 100,000 lives.
Join those 100,000 people. See John’s words come to life.

His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer’s

His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer’s His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer’s His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer’s His Love was Stronger than Alzheimer’s
 
 

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How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters
Life Lessons

How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

After the back-to-back disasters of Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma, it’s important that seniors and family caregivers alike understand the need for natural disaster preparedness. No matter where you live, it’s important to plan ahead for weather-related hazards. No one is more vulnerable during these emergencies than seniors, and a quick response is crucial to ensure the safety and security of elderly adults. How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters
When creating a natural disaster response plan, family caregivers and seniors should keep the following guidelines in mind.

Learn About Community Preparedness

Your loved one’s community will have resources in place to help residents plan for and respond to natural disasters. Family caregivers and seniors should know how the community will communicate with residents during a disaster. If the community has publicly available disaster response plan, this can help you plan and prepare for how to react.

Research & Plan for Different Disasters

When family caregivers and seniors create a natural disaster response plan, it’s important to learn about, plan, and prepare for all possible risks. Learn about all the different weather hazards faced by your area, and make sure you’re ready for any disaster your community could be vulnerable to.

Create Response & Evacuation Plans

When disaster hits, whether or not you need to evacuate will depend on the type of disaster and how severely it impacts your area. It’s important that you have a plan for evacuation and for staying in place. If you will be evacuating, develop a plan — and a backup plan — that takes into about the local challenges you’re likely to face in an evacuation. If the elderly person needs to stay in place, it’s important that you plan for what they need with them and who they need with them.

Make an Emergency Supply Kit

Family caregivers and seniors should compile a full list of emergency supplies that will be needed in the event of any disaster, whether the senior is staying in place or evacuating. This kit will include things like a supply of water and food, any needed medications, a complete first aid kit, a flash light, sanitation and hygiene items, warm clothing, blankets, a map, important personal documents, and emergency contact information. As it is likely that the family caregiver or another family member will be with the senior during an emergency, make sure that the emergency supplies cover the needs of both people.

Build a Personal Support Network

Seniors shouldn’t rely on only their family caregiver in case of an emergency. It’s important to build a personal support network of at least three people who will check in on the senior during an emergency. Within this network, everyone should know how to get in touch with one another, and communication plans should be in place in the event that phone and/or internet service becomes unavailable.
At Visiting Angels, our caregivers often play a key role in these support networks. When it is safe to do so, caregivers can check in on clients, monitoring their well-being, and providing assistance. In cases where seniors are separated from children and other family by long distances, a professional caregiver can often play a crucial role during an emergency.
If you’re concerned about your ability to care for a loved one in the event of an emergency, we invite you to contact your local Visiting Angels or call 800-365-4189 to learn more about our caregiver services.

How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters

How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters How Family Caregivers Can Plan for Natural Disasters
 
 

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Menopause and Perimenopause Tips
Life Lessons

25 Great Tips for Building a Relationship With Your In-Laws

by Jeff Dailey
written by Jeff Dailey

Prior to marrying, my husband and I went through a twelve-week premarital counseling course with a psychologist whose main focus was marriage. Best. Money. Spent. Ever. 25 Great Tips for Building a Relationship With Your In-Laws
We covered every topic under the sun, ranging from finances to children to our pasts and everything in between. 25 Great Tips for Building a Relationship With Your In-Laws
In our ten years together since that time, I can honestly say there is nothing we’ve encountered that we hadn’t already discussed a “what if” for during those 12 weeks.
At least, that was is the statement I made a couple weeks ago and Keith quickly corrected me. ”There was an incident with my Mom…and that wasn’t expected.”
Yikes! I’d forgotten all about that. Yes, his mother and I are very similar in alot of ways but incredibly different in others. And when Keith and I were first married, one of those differences caused a momentary rift.
Thankfully, for the both of us, Keith was wise enough to know the best way to bridge the divide and we quickly came to understand how the differences in our personalities and the way we handle certain things could adversely impact our relationship.
What I discovered during that time, and have continued to learn over the years, was our love for that man of mine (her son) should always take precedence. And I truly love and adore her too.
Over the weekend, I posted a graphic in our Facebook community that simply read, “To my mother-in-law, thank you for raising the love of my life.” It was “liked” more than 15,000 times and shared almost as many.
That got me to thinking, I bet the women of this club have some great tips for building a relationship with your in-laws. So this morning, I posed the question, “If you get along well with your in-laws, what would you say has been the key to building that relationship?”
More than 500 people responded and provided us with some great tips. If I could quickly sum up what seemed to make the most difference it was B.RA.W.L: Boundaries, Respect, Acceptance, Willingness and Love.
So instead of having a “brawl” with your in-laws, as so many unfortunately do, remember they are a part of what made your wonderful spouse who they are and try this version [of brawling] instead:
Common Courtesy Can Go a Long Way. “My experience was difficult at first. But, when I realized that they didn’t dislike me, they just would miss their son, it all changed. Respect, honesty and common courtesy goes a long way. Eventually, the F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real) goes away, guards are dropped and you realize you’re now an extended family – not a discontinuation of one.” -Jenny Campbell
Seek Advice Without Accusation. “Understand that they have loved your spouse much longer than you. Never put them in a position where they have to defend their child. Seek advice without accusations. Celebrate them for their support and encouragement of your spouse.” -Frances Siple
Extend Grace. “…the key to our relationship is respect and grace.” -Melissa Stratton Sanchez
Treat Them As Family. I have always looked at my in-laws like they’re my blood and it has made it so much easier to get along. We have all worked hard to make it important to us, though. It’s not always easy, but it has to matter enough to you to keep on working on it! -Laurina Rose Hendrickson
Be True to Who You Are. “Being yourself. Eventually it will work out. If you try to be something/someone you’re not, it will only cause everyone problems down the line.” -Karen Royalty Smith
Have Your Spouse Resolve Conflict. “When there is conflict between me and whomever, I talk it over with my husband and he talks to them. For one, they’re his family and he knows how to talk to them, and for two it takes him out of the middle – he doesn’t have to choose between me and them, he helps to resolve any conflict instead of letting one build.” -Tresa Koester
Give it Time. Realize relationships take TIME to build. One or even several large scale fights do not mean you cannot have a relationship. You may be very different people and it takes TIME to look at the world from another person’s viewpoint with love. Don’t give up. Always be kind. Give it time. -Tristan Roszkowski
Accentuate the Positive. “I love my mother-in-law. I think it helps to try to accentuate the positive. She is loving, giving, and incredibly kind. Of course, there are quirks that irritate me now and again, but in those moments, I try to remind myself that she is only doing what she thinks is best based off of her experience.” -Brittany Nielson
Include Them. Including them in all aspects of our lives, calling several times a week and including them on our family vacations with the kids. We WANT our children to have amazing memories of their grandparents. One day, WE will be the grandparents and would love the same respect. -Lori Ann Kennelly
Do Not Differentiate. “We never differentiate between “YOUR family” or “MY family”. It’s always OUR family from the day we were married. We love and respect each others parents and they love and respect us. We laugh, love and support each other as much as we can.” -Barbara Rocco Adams
Let Them Out of The Box. “For me, it has been to let them out of the little box I thought they were supposed to fit in. To be patient. To love and accept them as they are! I think I expected them to be like my family, and they are not. And that’s ok. It’s great, actually! They’re awesome!” -Stacy Smith Bishop
Remember Who They Are. “Remembering they raised and love the person you love and enjoy their company.” -Jeanine Parrish Giuliano
Remove Pride. “Love! Not being so prideful myself that I ignore their wisdom and love. They truly love me as their daughter and I love them as parents. Love never fails!” -Molinda Bailey
They Are Not the Enemy. “Mutual respect, not looking at your mother in law like she is an “enemy”, set healthy boundaries early on, communicate well, and a hug truly goes a long way.” -Alaina Marie
Know Your Roles. “Respect. Knowing each person’s role in their partner’s lives. A lot of times it can verge on who is SIGNIFICANT in their lives still? Each party has a different love type and level. When both parties respect that…then you have peace and harmony.” -June Robinson
Protect Your Words. “Prayer, self-assessment, forgiveness, always be humble and protect your own words, they become a part of your life and last forever.” -Melissa Dyer
Respect Their Position. “Respect their positions as parents (and grandparents, if apply)….Always be honest….Show constant love and gratitude for raising a wonderful child!” -Sheryl Taylor
Build a Friendship. “Love them, I mean really love them. Build a friendship with them and include them in your life, not just in areas where your spouse is involved but in all areas. Pray for God to connect your families together also.” -Vycki South
Have No Expectations. “Having their grandchildren, having no great expectations & just letting go of criticism – they see it as trying to help – believing the intention is good.” -Sara Litzkow Wax
Let Go of Grudges. “Be honest but respectful at the same time. Let go of grudges. Be patient. Have fun together! Communicate! Laugh! Share stories!” -Lesley Michelle Callahan Rogers
Don’t Put on a Show. “My relationship with my mother-in-law is separate from my relationship with my husband. I spend time alone with her…I don’t say negative things to her about him…and I act like me. I never put on a show for her.” -Angela Swartz
Bring Presumptions to the Surface. “Communication. Period. It was rough in the beginning but once I cleared the air by bringing all the presumptions to the surface, it’s been awesome ever since — and that was 13 years ago.” -Carlie Kercheval
Find a Respectful Approach. “If they raised the man of your dreams treat them as they are the reason he exists. Vent to your honey first, if something bothers you, to come up with the most respectful approach to not only them but your honey – respect them as HIS parents but love them as your own.” -Kristyn Johnson
Take Initiative. “Take initiative with them, don’t ignore them and wait for them to do so. Invite them for dinner, help your husband shop/buy gifts for them, etc. Include them in your good news! Help make them feel special and an important part of your life.” -Emily Reese
It’s a Package Deal. “Always put in mind/heart that tt’s a package deal. Love your In-laws as much as you love your husband no matter what.”
-Shirley Topang on The Happy Wives Club Blog

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Couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety
Life Lessons

Couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety

by Rod Spurgeon
written by Rod Spurgeon

Cold winter deception

 
Cold, alone, and without shoes, a woman in her 20s sat on the ground near a light rail station. She shivered on the chilly winter evening, her worn, dirty clothes providing inadequate protection against the frosty breeze. Couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety
When Bill approached the station after a long day at work, he spotted the woman. He noted her lack of winter weather protection and saw her body trembling to keep her warm. Bill moved toward her and asked if he could help. Couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety
The woman told Bill she was cold and hungry and could use a bite to eat. Bill told the woman that his wife was at home with their two-year-old son making dinner and invited her to join them. The woman’s eyes lit up with hope, and she quickly accepted. She told Bill that her name was Melinda and that she appreciated his help.
When they arrived at Bill’s small, third story apartment, Bill introduced Melinda to his wife Beth and their son Tom. Beth welcomed Melinda to their home and offered the use of their shower and a fresh set of clothes while she finished preparing dinner.
For the next few hours, the couple enjoyed Melinda’s company. At the end of the night, they asked Melinda if she would like to stay the night. Melinda gratefully accepted the offer and went to sleep on the couch.
The next morning, the couple woke and began their daily routine. Beth tended to her son’s needs while Bill checked on Melinda. When Bill went into the living room, Melinda was nowhere to be found.
Melinda left the apartment sometime in the middle of the night. Bill told Beth about Melinda’s departure and the couple became concerned. They initially didn’t notice anything missing until Beth looked for her keys. Bill went outside to check on their only vehicle and found it missing.
Bill told Beth the bad news. The couple’s only vehicle, a 10-year old four-door which they recently purchased, didn’t have comprehensive insurance coverage. Unless the police recovered it, they wouldn’t be able to get another one for some time.
The couple’s hearts and finances were crushed from this experience with Melinda, and will probably cause them to avoid similar acts of selfless generosity in the future.
—
This story is based on an actual situation that happened to a young couple. Despite the loss of their vehicle, the outcome could have been far worse.
Bringing a stranger home and inviting that person to spend the night might seem like the right thing to do, but it can put your family in extreme danger. Melinda could have taken the couple’s son with her when she stole their vehicle. The visitor could have also caused physical harm to the couple and their child while they slept.
Always keep your family’s safety in mind when contemplating a generous act.
If you want to assist someone you encounter on the street, avoid giving that person access to your family, your home, or your home address. You don’t know the intentions of the stranger you’re attempting to assist, nor do you know that individual’s criminal history or mental stability.
Provide the assistance you can, but keep your family’s information private.
The well-being of your family is your number one priority. Give generously to those less fortunate than yourself, but don’t put you or your family in harm’s way to do it.

couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety

How a couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety How a couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety How a couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety How a couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety How a couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety How a couple learned the hard way to balance generosity and safety

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Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man's Dogs and SUV
Life Lessons

Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man's Dogs and SUV

by Rod Spurgeon
written by Rod Spurgeon

Kevin spent the week working hard on a special advertising campaign for a client. He put in long hours, working well into the night to give the project every ounce of his mental energy. By the end of the week, Kevin felt drained but invigorated by the campaign’s progress. As a reward to himself, he planned a long hike in the mountains on Saturday with his two faithful canine companions. Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man’s Dogs and SUV
When that day finally arrived, Kevin loaded his dogs into his sports utility vehicle, rolled down the windows, and drove out into the crisp October morning. Before reaching his destination, Kevin stopped at a nearby convenience store to pick up a few water bottles for the journey. He parked in front of the building, hopped out of the vehicle, and went into the store. A woman sitting next to the building watched Kevin’s actions and took notice when he left his vehicle’s ignition on. The woman stood, moved casually to the SUV, and slipped into the driver’s seat. She pulled out of the parking spot and drove away.
With his water bottles in hand, Kevin exited the store but didn’t find his vehicle. He looked into the distance to see if he could spot it, but could find no trace. Kevin panicked. He could replace the SUV through his automotive insurance policy if need be. But his beloved dogs, his best friends, were gone.
Kevin called the police and frantically explained the situation. When they arrived, they took his statement and reviewed surveillance camera footage to find out what happened. Police spotted the woman in the video, clearly visible in the footage from the well-placed cameras, and tracked the direction she followed when she left. Following the thief’s path, police soon found the vehicle abandoned a few blocks away.
The woman had rifled through the contents of the SUV and stolen some items before fleeing the scene. To Kevin’s relief, his dogs were in the vehicle and unharmed.
Based on true events, this story could have ended much worse for Kevin. The woman could have set the dogs loose, stolen the pets, or caused them physical harm to silence them.
Whenever you leave a vehicle, always remove the keys from the ignition and lock the doors. Never leave children or pets in an unattended vehicle and avoid leaving valuable personal possessions in plain sight inside the vehicle. Criminals will take advantage of any easy opportunity to take items from you. It could happen in any neighborhood and at any time of day or night. If you present a tempting target to thieves, they will follow their instincts and steal it. Always protect your loved ones and valuable at all times or they could be removed from your possession – permanently. Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man’s Dogs and SUV
Preventing Purse Theft at Grocery Store

Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man’s Dogs and SUV

Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man’s Dogs and SUV Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man’s Dogs and SUV Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man’s Dogs and SUV Lessons from a Thief Who Stole A Man’s Dogs and SUV

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Money vs. Happiness: Which Is Important to You?
Life Lessons

Money vs. Happiness: Which Is Important to You?

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

Many people believe they must have a lot of money to be happy. If they have thousands upon thousands of dollars in the bank, they tell themselves they must be happy. Are they really happy, though?

If you’re struggling financially, you may feel as though those people are happy. You may believe that since they are in a better place with finances they don’t have the worries that you do. They can do whatever they want without having money standing in their way. Money vs. Happiness: Which Is Important to You?

Guess what? That’s not true.

Money and happiness are independent of one another. You can have a lot of money and be miserable. You can have no money and be happy.

How?

It’s all in how you live life.

Many people enter retirement scared. They don’t have as much money coming as they did when they were working, and they don’t have as much saved up in their account. What they start doing is saving as much as they can, and one way to save is to not participate in life. For example, before retirement, they may have played golf every weekend, but once they stopped working, the golf did too.

Some seniors will stop eating as much because they are afraid they are using too much of their money. They may not go out with family and friends as much because again, they would spend money. Not a lot of money, but any amount starts to seem like too much.

As these seniors start to take things out of their life one by one, they start to feel less and less happy. They don’t have the joy they once did because all of the things that gave them joy are gone and they haven’t replaced them with anything else. That’s the problem – there hasn’t been anything that has replaced what they have taken out.

Giving Up on Living Life

Giving up on life because you don’t want to spend too much money, any money, or you don’t have any money is not the answer. It will not make you happy. Living life is what makes you happy. You don’t need any money to be happy. Spending time with friends and family talking is free and guess what? It can make you happy.

Don’t have any family available to chat? Well, there are thousands of people you can be friends with and it doesn’t cost anything to meet them. You can spend time in a park, at a senior center, or at the library. As you frequent these places, you may start to see others there multiple times, and that’s your cue that they are interested in what you are, so they would make a great friend.

You don’t HAVE to be social to be happy either. You can do things that make you happy. Think of the hobbies you’ve had or some new ones you would like to try. If you have to invest some money into it, don’t worry about it too much as long as you have money for your necessities. If you don’t have any money, look for activities you can do for no money. Senior centers are perfect places to find them.

Low cost or free activities are available to you, but don’t be afraid to use your money to make you happy. Life is for living. When you stop living, you stop being happy. Pick your life up and start making it a happy one again. You deserve it.

Need more help with this? Contact Kendall Van Blarcom today. He can help you figure out what you need to be happy and guide you on the path to creating an enjoyable retirement.

Money vs. Happiness: Which Is Important to You?

Please leave a comment below with your answer. What do you think of this blog post and what is most important to you when considering money vs. happiness?

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